Friday, March 03, 2006

Of talks and funfairs

I discovered two great things yesterday.
1. I'm not colour blind
2. The cause of the rise in road accidents.

Ok, so pertaining to item number one. I've always had this niggling feeling that maybe i see colours differently. Like that time in kindergarten when I painted an apple blue instead of green or red. Yesterday, I went for this 5 hour pre-driving talk. Before that, I had to take this colour blind test. It wasn't anything brain-boggling or anything. Just a splotch of colour with a number 'hidden' in it. so, basically, you just write whatever you see. If you see a boat, draw a boat. Something like that. Anyway, I passed.Yea, I know, like the majority of the population didn't. Well, okay, in all honesty, there was this one question where I couldn't figure out what that squiggly line was. So, i took a wild guess. But who cares, I passed.

After that, I went into this hall and waited and waited and waited. At last, after two hours, a lady walked in. First impression: Scary. I don't know why, but some people just have the words "Steer clear.I'm Danger personified" written on their face. Well, in all fairness, she wasn't bad. She cracked the right jokes at the right time. Only hitch : She asks lots and lots of questions. But she was nice all right. She gave us fifteen minutes extra during the break.
The next speaker who came in after the break helped me come to a groundbreaking conclusion. I now know why accidents happen with such frequency these days.
His assignment: Teach us road rules.
What he did: Crack lame jokes and laughed at other people, all the while giving his poor desk a
healthy dose of palm-slapping.
Let me tell you something. For a while there I wanted to get out the room and check whether I was in the right 'lecture'. Good God, this guy was talking as if he'd just dunked down a whole bottle of whiskey or something equally 'spirited'. His jokes weren't only lame, they were verging on pathetic.
Eg. 1 : He strides into the room and in a voice that'll make ole King Kong himself retreat into a corner whimpering, he shouts..."Tell me, what are you all here for" Stunned speechless, everyone else in the class just stares at him. After a moment, someone from the back of the class says "To get a license?" which he covers his mouth and literally convulses into laughter. After some time, he looks up and starts laughing maniacally again. We never really got to know the answer to that question though.
Eg. 2: He makes the whole class read passages aloud. I mean, holy cow, the last time I did something like that, I was five and wearing frocks with my hair in pig tails. So, as the whole class chorused the title of various chapters, Mr. Inebriated convulses into laughter inexplicably from time to time. That was how i spent the next three hours. But it wasn't all that bad, I did practise playing 'darts' on my handphone and now, I can get the bulls-eye effortlessly. Anyway, if this is the kind of prep talk I get before driving, it's no wonder people are lunatics on the road.

After the longest 8 hours of my life, I got to go home. Home sweet home. On the way back, something caught my eye. You simply couldn't miss it. The bright colours, gay lights and various contraptions meant to be riden on. It was a funfair ! Happy memories flooded through me. I remember the merry people, the noise, the candy stalls and stuffed toys. Well, it only proves that you can never be too old to enjoy even the sight of a funfair, albeit a very small one. On that note, I've got some housework to do.

P.s: Keith Urban ain't bad at all. Who cares if he's a druggie /alcoholic/whatever, the guy sure can sing !

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