Fleeting moments

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To persevere is to endure. There are things that brush past you and before you’re able to turn around and catch hold of it, it fleets off again. A teasing strand of long hair on sensitive skin, an accidental tangle of fingers, a vision of childhood dreams that creeps up in the chime of ringing phones and crisp business suits.

In a time that seems like eons ago now, I remember the fiery sun being swallowed in sips by mountains and the endless horizon, the whisper of a breeze running its silky fingers through my tangled hair, and the haunting scent of wild flowers. Lulled by the sweet sweet music of waves greeting shore, I turned to seek a friendly face, a hand to hold but I was alone. The undulating waves, and gathering dusk, carried that wish of mine, the day will come when I find that person.

Obsession to some, might be mere survival to others. I don’t want to reach out in dreams only to wake up clutching air.

Hi all,

With head bowed low I guiltily apologize for the absence the past few weeks. Since stepping through the doorway to home, I've been having a jolly good time reacquainting myself with old flames, and a few new ones.

Anyway, here's part of what's been occupying my time the past two weeks...

It's the start of another year in the Chinese calender and as such I thought it only appropriate if I let it be known that I've decided to start another blog in addition to this one. I've christened it Wordy Candy. Like the name suggests, this one's gonna be all about books, things to do with books, words and print. I'll provide further details as refurbishments to this new slice of cyberspace gets done. I'll be doing more in depth 'reviews' of the books in my other blog some time in the near future.

Ooh last but certainly not least ....

Happy Chinese New Year to all of you!

P.s : Is it only me but does anyone else out there think that CNY songs are nothing but gongs, cymbals, horrid off key singing, lyrics too centred on wealth and a bunch of NOISE ?!

Just me

The crowd swelled around me , swirling and swishing in a kaleidoscope of colours, forms, emotions, thoughts. Swallowing me whole, I welcomed its cloak of anonymity. Lovers brushed past, two bodies stuck in a single soul, oblivious to the surroundings. There were tourists, cameras at the ready to put into tangible form what the mind would always remember. Little children zoomed past my ankles, dervishes in a blur of colourful dresses and quick feet.

It is at times like these that the anonymity of being in a crowd seduces me. In this sea of strangers, there exists no expectations, only a rare sort of acceptance. For in that one instant, I can cease being the diligent student, the girlfriend, the dutiful daughter, the listening ears and supporting shoulders. For one indulgent, selfish moment, I get to be me.

If you haven't really tried anything .. how can you say nothing works?

Hey you,

I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to write. It’s exactly a year now since the day you left. Wow, time sure flies huh?

It took me a while to accept the reality that you were gone. That you were no longer a text message away. That I could no longer tease you before I sleep.

In the span of a year, I realize you’ve never really left. I see you in every doting brother, I hear you tapping to your favourite songs every time they go on air, I sense you in the camaraderie of family gatherings, I remember you in your favourite foods and your favourite places.

It no longer stabs me in the heart when you come back to me in these little things … well, at least not as badly. It’s comforting to know that I bring along a part of you with me everyday, the same way you took a part of me with you when you left.

Anniversaries are to be observed (if only to escape the wrath of your other half); birthdays are to be celebrated (you missed my 21^st by the way… I painted the town a shade of purple for you), achievements to be toasted, festivals to be shared with special someones, but goodbyes … I refuse to believe they exist. There’s only till we meet again.

I’m offering you a prayer today. A prayer that peace will be yours to have at last. That you’d find fulfillment, contentment and the happiness that eluded you here.

I wish you’d stuck around longer to hear what I have to say now. I love you. We all do. But I think you knew that right? Till we meet again, promise you’ll tell me all about touring the galaxy and the milky way.

P/s : Say hi to poh poh and grandma for me will you?

Lots of love,

Jo

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” - Eskimo Proverb