The Clothes She Wore

Another day, another costume. The plethora of masks mocks, and the fashionable Opinion of Others costumes lined up goadingly. “Enough is enough” she mutters.

“You’re not gonna pull this off. They’ll talk “ says the snide reflection in the mirror.

With that, and a rebellious jerk, she rips off the hazy veil of self-esteem. Through her fingertips, fragile lace and tulle crumbles, scattering the floor with fragments of esteem built on the foundation of The Others. She rubs off the stain of shocking red on her lips, the false bravado and pretend worldliness. They have to see. They’ll learn to accept this face, the one with the eyes too trusting, the slight overbite in the awkward smile and the stubborn tilt of determination. She grins, and in the freedom of a fresh faced child, a faint dimple winks back.

She gently peels off the fussy collared top, along with it’s choking rules. Gone are the harsh layer upon layers of self-expectation, replaced instead with the positive pearls of wisdom.

She unhooks the heavy belt of Second Thoughts, and replaces it with a slim silver one. Hope.  The heavy, frumpy wool pants of responsibility is replaced with a flowery skirt of youthful expectation. Unlike its predecessor, this one lifts in a perfect circle when she twirls. It is not constricting, it is whole.

Ready at last to head out, the Heels of Society and the Boots of Thoughts skip her attention. Instead she reaches out for the Soles of Adventure. Sturdy comfortable shoes made to walk through life’s slippery slopes, sealed with the glue of confidence and the seams of self-assurance.

Ah yes, it’s going to be a good day ! 

*pic credits*

Two cents

" The people who are truly ready to get married, are the people who need it the least " 

I've been told ( numerous times ) not to be too vocal on subjects like these, but hey, this is my little slice of thoughts on the world wide web and if you're not ready to accept someone else's view with an open mind, then I urge you to stop reading past this line.  

*****

But then again, thought you wouldn't. So, if you're ready, here's my two cents on weddings and the institution ( interesting how they link marriages to institutions , eh ) of marriage. 

It's wedding season, what with this year being the auspicious year of the dragon, and the fact that age is catching up and friends , left , right and center have been busy tying the knot. Whilst I'm happy for them, it got me thinking about a few points. 

Why is the divorce rate skyrocketing every year? One could argue that ways of life have been evolving and couples no longer need to stay together and iron through their differences when society is quick to sell you escape ladders and runaway cars. However, what if there's always been a seed planted in every relationship, and the way you nurture this, could either lead to whether you build a sturdy family tree, or spend your married life getting rid of weeds. 

Is your wedding a premonition of what's to come ? Weddings, big, small, elaborate, simple, are nonetheless cause for celebrations : regardless of the guests attending ( That great aunt who always had too much to say about everything from your teeth to how many of your children should be named after her, yes, her too ).  They're also the first step you take as a married couple, and the first glimpse into your future together. 

The thing is, have all this attention lavished on the fanfare of weddings caused us to veer away from the true meaning of a couple's union ? Personally, I believe in only inviting the people who truly mean something to me to my wedding ( presuming I'll actually walk down the aisle ). Marriages are something so sacred, so precious, that they're moments that should only be shared with the people who will truly value the meaning behind those two words : I do. They're also a stark reminder of the people who should have been there, but now reside only in our hearts. 

Now here comes the walking on eggshells part. How does culture and tradition factor in these sacred unions. I'm born and raised a Christian, so my views may differ, but I think that people tend to take things too high up a notch with wedding preparations ( Especially if you're asian ). Don't get me wrong, I think that traditions like the tea ceremony are sweet and quaint but all this nonsense about 'saving face' and " let's see who can throw the biggest party because hey, I CAN afford it " just makes the entire affair so cheap. ( Ok, fine, this is a little judgy, but honestly .... carts of whiskey, overpriced dishes of near extinct animals, ridiculous gowns, bawdy jokes and the whole circus ? )  I shouldn't be saying this, but the fact is .. if you have that much money to splurge on getting your guests drunk and making absolute fools of themselves, why not do something meaningful instead ? Donate to charity. Help a child in need. Pay for children who can't afford an education. Give someone else a shot at life. But then again, that's just me and whilst I can't judge what someone else wants to do, I'd like to think that I have the right to not back down on the things that make me uncomfortable.     

I wanted to type " I'm just a girl " but the truth is, I'm no longer just a girl. These are issues that are closer than ever as the candles on that birthday cake grow in numbers, and seriously, they've been bugging me. 

If you've read till the end, and haven't stormed off in a fit of rage at my disrespectful audacity, thank you and thank you very much. I'd like to know though, what do you think ? Do you prefer intimate gatherings because after all a marriage is between 2 people and a higher being, or do you prefer grand affairs ( even if some of those things drive you absolutely NUTS ) ? Will this deeeeelightful mix make things more difficult, or make the entire 'adventure' more worth the ride ?  

Disclaimer : The author apologizes for the verbiage in this post, but not for the thoughts. Not really. 

Flowing with the go

Today's smile-inducer : Letting go and learning to ignore the imaginary roar created in idle thought. Sometimes it helps to sift through the things that matter and those that don't. Oftentimes it's the choices we don't have to make that end up being the ones that do us in. Learning to sit back and let nature take its course. One day at a time, one goal at a time. 

• Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it - Robert Frost  

• While they were saying among themselves that it cannot be done, it was done - Helen Keller    

• Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not a truth - Marcus Aurelius

Simply because looking at them makes me happy :) 

Track on

Today's smile-inducer : Knowing what you want, knowing how to get what you want.

Where art thou,
You with the fierce desires,
and relentless spirit.

Where art thou,
You with the carefree laugh,
and crazy banters.

Where art thou,
You with the kind words,
and eyes for others.

Where art thou,
You who knows what you want,
and never lets anyone else say otherwise.

Track on,
You'll make it past the bend,
where sweet surprises mingle with unvoiced desires.

Uncaged

Today's smile-inducer : Freedom in closed quarters. Snapped this picture of a safety ladder that looked so much like a cage from the bottom up. Ever so constricting on the climb up, it's only when you reach the top that you realize it's been there all this while ; a reassuring presence, steely arms to catch you when you fall. 

Restless souls, sleepless nights, 

Raging hearts, doubting thoughts,

 Flightless dreams still clutched tight, 

Changing perspectives, tirelessly fought. 

I change my thoughts, I change my world - Norman Vincent Peale 

Fleeting moments

Image from http://redlipsandicecream.tumblr.com/page/20

To persevere is to endure. There are things that brush past you and before you’re able to turn around and catch hold of it, it fleets off again. A teasing strand of long hair on sensitive skin, an accidental tangle of fingers, a vision of childhood dreams that creeps up in the chime of ringing phones and crisp business suits.

In a time that seems like eons ago now, I remember the fiery sun being swallowed in sips by mountains and the endless horizon, the whisper of a breeze running its silky fingers through my tangled hair, and the haunting scent of wild flowers. Lulled by the sweet sweet music of waves greeting shore, I turned to seek a friendly face, a hand to hold but I was alone. The undulating waves, and gathering dusk, carried that wish of mine, the day will come when I find that person.

Obsession to some, might be mere survival to others. I don’t want to reach out in dreams only to wake up clutching air.

Hey you,

I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to write. It’s exactly a year now since the day you left. Wow, time sure flies huh?

It took me a while to accept the reality that you were gone. That you were no longer a text message away. That I could no longer tease you before I sleep.

In the span of a year, I realize you’ve never really left. I see you in every doting brother, I hear you tapping to your favourite songs every time they go on air, I sense you in the camaraderie of family gatherings, I remember you in your favourite foods and your favourite places.

It no longer stabs me in the heart when you come back to me in these little things … well, at least not as badly. It’s comforting to know that I bring along a part of you with me everyday, the same way you took a part of me with you when you left.

Anniversaries are to be observed (if only to escape the wrath of your other half); birthdays are to be celebrated (you missed my 21^st by the way… I painted the town a shade of purple for you), achievements to be toasted, festivals to be shared with special someones, but goodbyes … I refuse to believe they exist. There’s only till we meet again.

I’m offering you a prayer today. A prayer that peace will be yours to have at last. That you’d find fulfillment, contentment and the happiness that eluded you here.

I wish you’d stuck around longer to hear what I have to say now. I love you. We all do. But I think you knew that right? Till we meet again, promise you’ll tell me all about touring the galaxy and the milky way.

P/s : Say hi to poh poh and grandma for me will you?

Lots of love,

Jo

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” - Eskimo Proverb