Thought provoking

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.You tend to blend into your surroundings.Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life...And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I've always thought such things should be taken with a pinch of salt.. This is kinda interesting though..

Out of our hands

It's ironic and rather bitter actually, how sometimes you plan for something for what seems like your whole life, you work hard to achieve it, you psycho yourself into believing that whatever happens is for the best and suddenly, in a sudden twist of events, you find yourself back at square one. Back at the crossroads. I used to be able to ascertain what i want and don't want. What I like and don't like. What I am and am not. Right now, I find myself tragically questioning everything I'd scripted about myself. Who is the girl I see staring back at me in the mirror everyday? Is she the one I thought I knew intimately for the last 17 plus years of my entire life? Or is she just another stranger? Like the many friends and acquintances whom I thought I knew, but proved me wrong in the end?....Don't get me wrong though, in my life, I had had the honour and the blessing to have met a handful of very dear close friends.

In my opinion, we do certain things for a multitude or reasons. We all have minds of our own. Some are just more outspoken than others, daring to go all out and grab the reins in their own hands. Some are more subdued and submissive. It doesn't mean that these people are spineless in any way, sometimes, it's simply because they realize what's best for the general population. They want to keep peace and serenity reigning while putting their preferences at the end of the list. Which of the two am I ? I'd love to say I'm the former, but sadly, I'm a little towards the latter. I do voice my opinions and thoughts when the time calls for it, but most of the time, I try to please others. The support and care from those who matter to me plays a pivotal part in influencing my decisions. I'm gutless in that context, but I don't care.

Right now, I'm confused. I don't know whether what I'm going to do is the right thing or not, but for once, i'm setting my foot down. After all, the rest of the journey is mine to take. Not others. So, I guess, once again, the decision lies in my hands. It hurts to keep so many things bottled up inside you sometimes. I thought a blog could have been the answer to my frustrations, but I found out otherwise. It's a wee bit too public. Sadly. I'm a private person in that sense. I don't appreciate having someone intrude the private realms of my thoughts, as much as I love and adore the company of close friends and family.

Things past

You never know what you have until you lose it. That said, I've been reminiscing on certain things. Like how fast time flies sometimes, and how slowly it creeps by other times. I remember snippets of my life which comes in short flashes. So, I've compiled a list of things I miss, things I've sometimes taken for granted and things that are so sweet and syrupy, I will never forget to remember....
I miss :

• the blissful innocence of being a child. Where the world's one big playground, to be explored, reveled in, everything is new and magical and monsters only exist underneath your beds.
• the wonder of new discoveries. Everyday is filled with new discoveries, but as you grow older, you get more and more jaded. Nothing beats the first time.
• the drive and well, unwillful determination of going to school everyday. The crazy things we have the liberty to indulge in just because we are holders of the title "students" and 'teenagers'
• passing notes around in class right under the teacher's nose. It's the suspense and thrill of knowing you can be caught anytime that makes it even more exciting. Clandestine and a relief from extremely boring 'lectures'
• staying up late to chat and talk about everything and nothing at all. All the while knowing that you're going to be nothing more than a panda-eyed zombie the next morning but still indulging because temptations are too sweet to resist.
• not having serious responsibilities and yet given a few just so you feel a little more grown up eventhough being 'grown-up' entails more weighty decisions than choosing what to wear and deciding whom to be and not be friends with.
• running around and playing without a care for anything else. To be childish and be excused simply because, well, you're nothing more than a child at that period of time.
• waking up daily when the sky's still pitch black and missing my bed whilst cursing the alarm clock for being so relentless and efficient, but yet yearning to go to school just to meet my friends and mock and laugh at the teachers though we still respect them..= p
• having someone spoon feed me..not in the literal sense of the word, as in telling me point for point what to do.
• taking things at face value without doubting it. Never having to evaluate and re-think something twice because I haven't turned into the cynic I rather am right now.
• being able to confide in my teddy without someone thinking I've more than a few loose screws.

Whirling,Twirling and rolling

It's past midnight now, just when I'm supposed to be putting on my nightcap, my thinking cap chooses to plop itself on my head.

These past days, I've been thinking about a multitude of things. This post is going to be filled with a bundle of jumbled thoughts, so forgive the choppiness to come.

In quiet times like these, I find myself wondering about what's out there. Is there more to life than just waking up everyday and making the best of your days? Does love really exist? What are the possibilities for seemingly platonic relationships to blossom into something promising? When I was younger, I used to think that we were all puppets and our lives were all mapped out for us already. I used to think that God was the owner of all the puppets and every little action on our part was actually governed by Him. Not far off from the truth I must say.

I kinda hate it when people judge other people before they even get to know the person on a more personal level. It's really stupid to draw conclusions based on a person's look. It doesn't make any blinking sense ! I mean, your portly looking, boring next door neighbour might turn out to be the coolest guy on earth and your hip looking trendy colleague might turn out to be the biggest bore on earth. I hate it when people make assumptions, because assumptions are rarely right and all they ever do is muddle up the situation more. Ironically, sometimes, I myself fall victim to such vices. Oh man, I'm going round in circles and I don't know what I'm talking about. My innermost feelings are too senstive to be written out in the open like this.

Have you ever experienced that jolt of anticipation everytime the phone rings? Just because you're expecting or rather waiting for that one call? And when at last the phone rings, you grab it up only to be dissapointed because whoever's on the line isn't who you want it to be? It's as if you've reached the peak of a mountain and suddenly, you lose your footage and come stumbling down. Jack and Jill-like. And sometimes, you say things only to be struck by your own audacity...It's funny how we let ourselves revel in all this see-sawing emotions and let them mess with our brains. Even weirder how sometimes the hardest of cynics lose his or her cynicsm and fall for the one thing they were against. In a way, that's what being human entails. We can't fight the forces of nature. There's simply no going against it. We're just little specks in a gargantuan(is there even such a word? nevermind) universe. Defenceless, pitiable and very much human.

Rant alert !

Alright, today, all I'm going to do is rant, rant and rant. It hasn't been a really good day. Not in the least. What a way to end a weekend. Negative energy seems to be swarming around me like a tangible force even as I type this out. You may think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but that's just me, being irrational, so do ignore this post unless you haven't got anything better to do other than reading some outraged teenager's outlet for her frustrations. URRGH !

For starters, I'm beginning to loathe my driving instructor. Besides being a budding chauvinist, he treats me like a blinking imbecile ! He's arbitrary and condescending and insulting and offensive and he's making me loathe everything ! The rain pelting down on us early this morning was akin to a premonition of what was to come. Remember that lesson I envisioned earlier? The one where my instructor would be waving his arms frantically, and dear me, I wouldn't be able to fathom what he was trying to say even if my very last breath depended upon it? It came true. Today. Man, I need to learn some Cantonese. I'm so lost ! I think I'm going to make the worst driver ever. Period. Today, I 'tackled' the slopes and the parking. To make matters worse, I couldn't understand much of his yabbering. The parking part and the slopes were the worst ! I kept backsliding and I banged down a stupid pole ! It's hard enough to differentiate between left and right in ENGLISH but in Cantonese? It wouldn't have made a difference if he had been speaking French ! So, after a lot of yelling and screaming on his part, I finally succeeded. That was when he said, " Now, let me test your memory..do it all over again." Darn, what memory is there to test? I couldn't remember a darn thing besides him incessantly screaming " Stop ! Brakes ! Stop! "...Sigh.....hopefully the next few classes would be better. I really don't look forward to it. Imagine how fast things change. I was gushing over driving yesterday, and today, I'm really over it. Fickle-minded seems to be my middle name eh?...

There are a million other things running through my fumbled mind right now. I want to scream and rant and cry and swear ( unlady-like i know) but everything I want to pen down seems to disintegrate in mid-transition. It sucks. It's like a trizillion of rubbish and crap is trying hard to squeeze through a very very small outlet. It's amazing how our 'wireless' world can turn into so much of a hassle sometimes. That is, when things go wrong and distance becomes the barrier. And there is absolutely no other form of communication besides the one that has crashed down. That has got me wondering how people in the pre-modern days solve misunderstanding and stuff. No wonder war was so rampant those days. Imagine if there was a small disagreement among two parties and after some thought and consideration, Party A decides to back off and settle the matter. Party A then sends a 'snail mail' which in those days would take literally ages to reach the designated destination. By the time the letter reaches Party B, Party B would probably have already launched an attack on Party A and chaos would have already ensued.

Right now, all I seem to be able to feel is an abyss of emptiness. Deep and dark and dank. I'm numb, cold and unfeeling. And maybe, just maybe, I'd like to stay like that for the time-being. To be cocooned in myself. I was never one to turn to self-pity, but right now, it's comforting. It offers me the peace of mind I seek. I want to be free, but there are invisible binds holding me down. I don't even know the direction of my thoughts right now. I'm very confused and I hope, soon, I'll see the light.

From baby wheelers to four wheelers

The toil is partially over and now comes the fun part. The time has finally arrived and I'm all set to go behind the wheels. Nevermind the fact that I'm practically the last, if not, one of the last among my friends to get my driving license.

Anyway, today I had my first ever lesson behind the wheel. It was scary at first, and deeply reassuring that my instructor had brakes on his side of the car. Saved us from turning into squished flesh. I was surprised when he took me to the stadium to drive around and not to the driving school as I thought he would. Being around more adept drivers was intimidating to say the least. There were more than a few times when I came really close to grazing some other innocent's car. Seems I have bad control of the steering wheel among other more pressing matters. Whatever it is, after literally going round in circles for around 40 minutes, my instructor asked me "so, I think you've got the hang of it right? Good, let's proceed to the road." Goodness gracious, there I was, hardly having any control of a car, albeit a small and light one, and he was going to unleash me on the road? I mean, I'm a hazard, a danger, a small slip of a girl who knows close to nothing to driving.

So, there I was, crawling along the road while other bigger, meaner cars whizzed by. It was rather exhilirating actually. After I gained more confidence, I sped up a bit. Much to my instructors chagrin I fear, for he was always telling me "slow down, slow down", then he was mumbling something about how dangerous it is for them to bring new drivers on the road and yada yada. Ha ha. One memorable incident would have to be when I accidentally went up a curb and I heard my instructor mumble " my poor car" under his breath. The worst thing is, I don't really understand Cantonese, and sadly, my instructor speaks little else. So, for the most part, I was just guessing what he said. Which is bad, since I only understood like half of what he said and I had to make up the rest. I think he realised, since I hadn't an iota of an idea when he said "turn left" in Cantonese, and I couldn't understand. Man, I need a crash course. In Cantonese, not driving. Forgive the pun, it was unintended. By the by,it's funny how little respect some people have. The whole ride through, he was muttering something about women drivers while I was sitting beside him. Poor thing, didn't he ever learn that you should never offend the driver? Particularly if she's more of a feminist than anything else? Your life is at stake, for Pete's sake. I mean, alright, in all fairness, women do drive less agressively and less attentively, but that doesn't mean that ALL are like that...hmm....I shall not dwell on that and save that morsel of thought for some later entry.

Oh, besides that, I watched Underworld 2 yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I had earlier envisioned it to be, and Kate Beckinsale sure looked good throughout. I'm pretty reluctant to say this, but it was kind of worth watching. Ha ha, sorry Kim.

I've got to sign out now. I've got another lesson tomorrow morning. So, you drivers out there, if you see a white Kancil being driven by a be-spectacled girl who'll probably be looking as if she's trying to understand what her instructor's yabbering about, steer clear. It's only for your own good. Trust me.

Nites !

ps: maybe I'll come up with more 'pointful' entries sometime in the future. My brain's just been to comfortable staying in hibernation mode and I'm too lazy to wake it up.

Who am I ?

Tell me about yourself. That was what he asked. At that time, I was caught too off-guard to give a coherent reply. Never again will I be faced with the same dilemma. So, I've decided to sit down and give a lengthy dissertation on the topic of myself. Nothing self-exalting, mind you. Here goes...

I am the little bundle you carried, crinkly, wrinkly, pink and bald. I gave you toothless grins and that was all it took.

I am the toddler who'd force you to dot words out on a piece of paper so I could trace them, link them and form pictures, figures, alphabets and numbers.

I am the little girl who'd beg you to teach her sewing. And you would acquiese, giving me a piece of paper, a needle and a thread.

I am the granddaughter who tortured you by making you sit down with her, doing jigsaw and word puzzles although you could hardly see. Made you accompany her while she was bathing because she was afraid of the dark and being alone, and you did all that, although your limbs must have hurt, simply because you loved her so.

I am the kindergarten-er whom you had to chase around the dining table, catch and then strap in the car just because I hated going to kindergarten.

I am the granddaughter who thought you were irritating when all you did was care. You taught me how to say "I'm sorry" but I'll never get the chance to say that to you now.

I am the 5 year old who wanted to be a fire-fighter not at all for altruistic purposes but because I used to think that fire was cool, never dangerous.

I am the daughter who tried her utmost in everything because she didn't have the heart to let you down.

I am the sister who bullied,teased, laughed and argued with you, but deep down, she knows she'll never love another guy as much as she loves you.

I am the student who looked up to you although you never knew. I owe you a lot for you have changed me and affected me in ways no one ever had.

I am the girl you used to play with when we were little, but now, when we meet again, you've forgotten me, but I still remember.

I am the self-professed cynic who scorns at 'love',but secretly waits for that someone, someday to come along and prove me wrong.

I am the bookworm, the geek, the nerd who wanted very much to 'belong'. In time, I found out that I had belonged all the time. It was only that I was looking in the wrong direction.

I am the girl next door who grew up with you. Were best buddies with you, but somehow, we drifted off. All things aside, our friendship meant a lot to me and hopefully to you too.

I am the girl you scoffed at, timelessly insulted, offended and called names just because I had more sense than to go clubbing with you at 12 midnight. I never know what I saw in you all those years.

I am the stranger who tolerated all your nonsense until that one last time. You know nothing at all about me so save your breath and quit pretending. I refuse to defame myself but I am glad things turned out the way it did. Your ego is and will always be you Archiles' heel.

I am the seemingly quiet girl, who turned into your best friend, gossip partner, co-drooler and accomplice in many antics. The times we spent together and the secrets we shared are more precious and rare than any other thing that could ever happen to me.

I am the coward who turns to daydreams for escape from the harsh realities of the real world, only to be shaken mercilessly back into reality.

I am the girl who smiles when I'm actually hurting inside because I never want to allow anyone else into my own comfort zone. I recoil and in turn hurt myself even more. I say things I never really mean, just because anger blew out the lamp.

I am the crazy girl whom only you know. Multi-faceted and complicated that even I get lost in my own labyrinth of contradicting personalities.

I am the school-leaver who couldn't make up her mind what to do with the rest of her life which seemed to stretch on for acres and acres to count.The day-dreamer who wanted to save the world, change the world but deep-down knows that the only thing she may change is the girl she sees everyday in the mirror.

I am the baby who grew into the sometimes difficult teenager, splattering heartaches and headaches in her wake. I never believed that life is a bed of roses because I'm realistic, not pessimistic as some people are keen to believe. And even if life IS a bed of roses, I'm sure there are thorns involved.

That is, am and will always be me, if not, a part of me. The past, the present and the future are all linked together in an interminable chain of events. All are significant, non inconsequential. There are certain chapters in my book of life which I regret doing, but ironically, I never want to go back there and re-write the past,change things, simply because the past happened for a reason and without it, there will never be the me now.

Shaggy Shaggy

Haha, I haven't blogged the last two days. There's a plethora of reasons behind this, with laziness being the main contributor but I shall not go into that right now. I was forced to wake up early this morning, had to get my braces fixed by my dentist.The visit wasn't that bad, if you ignore the fact that he almost dug my eye-balls out. Today's visit was probably one of the most seat-gripping visits of all time. Throughout the whole 11 minutes, I was holding onto the seat and praying for mercy. It's really not because I was undergoing some major surgery or anything. It was just that he was well, short-sighted maybe, or his arms weren't that long. So, when he was twisting the arch-wire, he held the wire, and his super-sharp-pierce-my-eyes-out utensils like centimetres away from my face. And, suddenly he slipped ! Gosh, I closed my eyes and prayed for dear life ! Luck was on my side, and the tweezers missed my face by a hair's breath...Phew! Anyway, I was informed that I had to return for a second adjustment later this afternoon..Sigh, looks like my encounters with Dr.Lim's tweezers aren't over for the day yet.

It was love at first sight. My heart did this little plunging, fluttery thing and I couldn't help but sigh everytime I saw him. With his woe-be-gone, melting soft chocolate eyes and charismatic character. He was enigmatic, smart and oh-so-cute ! A heartbreaker. A true-blue,born to be, chick magnet! Who's this new guy in my life? None other that the star of Shaggy Dog, ole- Shaggy himself ! In case I haven't been obvious enough, I watched Shaggy Dog yesterday. My take? It was just mediocre, nothing fantastic really. While I appreciated the uber-cuteness of the dog, whose real name is Cole by the way, the storyline was kinda cliche really, with a few laughs packed in between.The story spins off with the regular too-busy-to-come-home dad scenario. where the whole family seems to be slowly 'crumbling'...kids think that the parents are going to get a divorce bla bla..then through some weird out-of-this-world genetic mix-up, Dad turns into a dog. Doggy Dad then tries to go save the world or in this case, a few genetically messed-up animals. Among them, a bullfrog...i don't mean the ordinary bullfrog bullfrog, I mean a real merge between a bulldog and a frog..or toad...or something. So, we had a leaping, barking, slimy, tongue-lolling creature that resembled neither dog nor frog. The chimp in sunglasses was super cute too. The rest of the day passed by uneventfully enough. By the way, I tried the McD Veggie Burger yesterday. Alright, I know it's like extremely late to give a 'review'.. but I have to say this. "veggies never tasted so good"..the ad was sooooo right ! mmmmmm....slurp.

Day's observation: Everyone's behaving a little on the mad side today. Must be the hike in petrol prices, or the hot weather, or the fact that now that you can't eat chickens and beef, the general population is suffering from serious withdrawal syndromes. Now, who was that again who predicted that eating too much meat and depending too much on meat is going to result in a global catastrophe? Alright, maybe I've exaggerated a bit too much there. Anyway, right now, I'm listening to 'gomenasai' by Tatu. Man, I love that song !
Well, I think I've crapped my bit for today already. I've got to go get ready for my dental appointment. Maybe this time I'l bring along one of those football helmets or goggles. Yea. on the safe side. Wish me luck !
Adieus !

The Hardest Words

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.......I find it hard to agree with Sir Elton John there. To me, goodbye should take top-placing on the list of hardest words. Weird eh? how 7 letters can mean so much and bear so much weight? I'm never one to deal well with goodbyes. Oh, I remember all the leg-clinging fuss I pulled when my parents wanted to send me off to pre-school kindergarten. Now, all grown-up and half a lady, I still experience that heart-tugging thing. I'm sentimental, yea. Anyway, today's one of those days, when the sky doesn't look so blue and time whizzes by although u beg it desperately to go slow. I loathe it. But life goes on, it's no point standing there and waiting for things to take place. Anyway, from tomorrow onwards, I hope time flies past. I hope it doesn't excrutiate me by dragging by like a million-legged caterpillar. So, I've devised a plan. I'm going to busy myself immersing myself in stuff that would mercilessly rob me of the chance to sit down and look at how time passes. Maybe I'll be better when the time comes. Besides, I need to oil those rusted gears of mine ! haha..I've still got my Add. Maths books stashed sumwhere..Man, I'm going nuts..I bought a copy of Cleo today. One of the things I never really do. So, I'm going to go read through it and ooh and aah over whatever girly stuff they have splurged all over those super glossy pages. That's me when insanity strikes.

Anyway, I'm not really in the mood to pour out too many things here. Today's been weird. I'm strained, mentally. It was nice meeting up with a childhood friend, to look back at all those things we used to do together. Lol, but it ain't the end of anything. The sun will definitely shine brighter tomorrow. And to all who will be leaving for the second batch of NS, best of luck to you. May this experience open more opportunities for the future and most of all HAVE FUN !!
nites !

Life's rollercoaster

wow, it's sure been some time since i last blogged. The last few days have been tumultous, to say the least. There were ups and downs and highs and twists and chaos all rolled up into one messy, memorable goob of a ride. Anxiety-driven sleepless night preceded joy-borned sleepless nights. Although they both result in panda-like eyebags, i seriously prefer the latter.

Enough on all that. The recent events that took part in my life can only be described as surreal and dream-like. Anyway, on to another topic.

I went for my driving theory test, and passed without any colours. Haha, then I had to set an appointment for a 6 hour 'course'. The 'course' entailed a 3 hour talk delivered through a tv set, which cackled and blurred and jerked grudgingly through it all. Well, of course, the whole thing was 'administered' by some guy. But for all he did, they should have placed a robot there instead. Maybe that's what modernisation and technology results in. Humans just stand on the sidelines and watch in awe as machines take over their jobs. The good thing is, I stole a few minutes and a few seconds here and there of sleep. But I was in for a shock when the lecturer suddenly said..."I'm going to ask each of you two questions, if u can't answer me, u'll have to stand till 12pm"...oh man. I was mentally going shoot shoot shoot i'm dead. Surprisingly, he veered off topic and started muttering something else and somehow he forgot about his questionnaire. Talk about a miracle. Phew..By the way, the class only consisted of a pathetic number of 6 participants. 3 girls and 3 guys. And, we were forced to sit right in front of him. Like 20cm away from him. To add to that, the room was sooooo cold, I thought I was taking a 'torture-cation' in Alaska.

So, after 3 grueling hours, we were released ! Then i had to go meet my instructor. The problem : I haven't even seen him before in my entire life. How in the world was I to look out for someone whom I haven't even met ? So, there I was, standing around. Now I know how those animals in petshops feel. Imagine loafing around while waiting for someone you haven't met to pick you up. Anyway, suddenly and elderly man grabs me by the arm and asks me to follow him into the office. My first thought? I don't know you, stop arm-grabbing me ! When he realised I wouldn't budge, he gave me a God-help-me-why-do-i-have-to-get-this-idiot look and grabbed the piece of paper I was holding in my hand. Looking at the paper, he mumbled something I couldn't make out and told me to wait for him in the canteen.

After an hour of eating air, my instructor started teaching me the various parts of the car. And, he only speaks chinese, so i only understood like half of what he said..sigh, imagine if we were on the road and he starts saying sumthing, and I'll be like...huh??...oh man. I can just picture the whole thing..The instructor would be waving his arms madly and i'll be panicking. Hmmmm...*thoughtful frown*
Well, whatever it is, I got to play around with the gears and pedals. Felt like a kid really, haha, but i reveled in all kiddy shamelessness.

I guess that does it for the day.

Final Destination

Today was the day i had to face the inevitable. To re-enact memories and feelings I wanted very much to forget. But much to my surprise, today didn't turn out as bad as I had envisioned it to be. In fact, I had a very enjoyable and memorable time. Thanks to the company of a few good friends.

I played bowling for the first time today. If it was anything, my pathetic attempts at throwing a 6 pound ball at a bunch of stationary pins was laughable. It's just that prior to this, I have always been contented at standing at the sidelines, watching other people bowl. Basically, this is a dissertation of my very first game.
Heart thumping and stomach doing the jiggly, I grip the ball in my hand. I take the few steps to the line and pray with all my might that i don't let the ball slip backwards. Taking a deep breath, I give the ball a heft and throw it. The poor ball hits the floor with a mighty thump and much to my delight, actually starts rolling. Rolling, rolling, rolling and into the drain ! Sigh, looks like i need tons more of ball-thudding practices. So far, I've been a pretty sharp shot....and i possess perfect aiming too. I always seem to be able to aim for the drain. No kidding..

Anyway, went to watch Final Destination 3 too. When Kim told me we were going to watch that movie, I was so tempted to back out. It's no big secret that I'm a chicken at heart. I mean, I can't even go out into the hall when it's dark for fear of meeting some 'visitors'. Haha, I am exactly that imaginative. So, I put on a brave front while vigilantly praying that I wouldn't scream out loud. Though morbid, the movie was kinda thrilling. I was sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting to find out how the next victim was going to meet his/her inevitably gruesome death. The common trait amongst them, they all died accompanied by this uber gross squishy sound, rather like the sound an orange emits when you squeeze it..

That said, I think I'll take an early nightcap today. I'm like this little kid who's been out to play all day, and now, when the fun is over, my eyelids are drooping while more adventures await me in sleep, where dreams often come true.

Musik !

If music be the food of love...play on. Famous words quoted by the equally famous Shakespeare.
At last, today, I started playing the guitar. Urm ,I meant learning to play. It is undeniably a painful art to master. And I really mean painful. At the end of an hour, my fingers are so sore, typing this entry ain't no mean feat, my wrist seems to want to stay in this perpetually twisted state and my back is hurting. When I told Josh the guru extraordinaire this, he very tonelessly stated.."You have bad posture"..umm...o.k. Anyway, I now realise how much skill is needed in order to master playing the guitar. I've always been in love with the Latin guitar. It's sultry tone,sexy melody and romantic feel is just too hard not to fall head over ears in love with. Now, I think I'll just stick to listening instead of ever learning. Before I even started playing, Josh gave me a tip."You have to wait till your fingertips turn leathery and peel before you can actually play well.." Gee.. Thanks bro. What a comforting thought. Just like that time when i wanted to learn how to ride a bike and he said "you have to fall before you learn to ride." Talk about moral support.

So, a little insight on how I fared today. I learnt three chords. C,G and D. The three most basic chords according to Josh. Much to my chagrin, I couldn't even master these three. I think a duck with it's webby feet would be able to change chords faster than me. Even a tortoise would be faster than me. I'm like..ok,first string, second finger, second string, third finger, third string....ahh..i.can't.reach.it..after a bit of wrestling and more twisting of my wrist i manage to weakly press down the third string. Pleased, I take a strum, only to be greeted by this really unpleasant twang that doesn't sound at all like the chord it's supposed to be. Well, at least I was close. :P Anyway, at the rate I'm playing, the only songs I'll be able to play are gonna be lullabies. Really, really really s..l...o...w...lullabies.

That said, I'm going to go wreck havoc with my trusty guitar....

Of talks and funfairs

I discovered two great things yesterday.
1. I'm not colour blind
2. The cause of the rise in road accidents.

Ok, so pertaining to item number one. I've always had this niggling feeling that maybe i see colours differently. Like that time in kindergarten when I painted an apple blue instead of green or red. Yesterday, I went for this 5 hour pre-driving talk. Before that, I had to take this colour blind test. It wasn't anything brain-boggling or anything. Just a splotch of colour with a number 'hidden' in it. so, basically, you just write whatever you see. If you see a boat, draw a boat. Something like that. Anyway, I passed.Yea, I know, like the majority of the population didn't. Well, okay, in all honesty, there was this one question where I couldn't figure out what that squiggly line was. So, i took a wild guess. But who cares, I passed.

After that, I went into this hall and waited and waited and waited. At last, after two hours, a lady walked in. First impression: Scary. I don't know why, but some people just have the words "Steer clear.I'm Danger personified" written on their face. Well, in all fairness, she wasn't bad. She cracked the right jokes at the right time. Only hitch : She asks lots and lots of questions. But she was nice all right. She gave us fifteen minutes extra during the break.
The next speaker who came in after the break helped me come to a groundbreaking conclusion. I now know why accidents happen with such frequency these days.
His assignment: Teach us road rules.
What he did: Crack lame jokes and laughed at other people, all the while giving his poor desk a
healthy dose of palm-slapping.
Let me tell you something. For a while there I wanted to get out the room and check whether I was in the right 'lecture'. Good God, this guy was talking as if he'd just dunked down a whole bottle of whiskey or something equally 'spirited'. His jokes weren't only lame, they were verging on pathetic.
Eg. 1 : He strides into the room and in a voice that'll make ole King Kong himself retreat into a corner whimpering, he shouts..."Tell me, what are you all here for" Stunned speechless, everyone else in the class just stares at him. After a moment, someone from the back of the class says "To get a license?"..to which he covers his mouth and literally convulses into laughter. After some time, he looks up and starts laughing maniacally again. We never really got to know the answer to that question though.
Eg. 2: He makes the whole class read passages aloud. I mean, holy cow, the last time I did something like that, I was five and wearing frocks with my hair in pig tails. So, as the whole class chorused the title of various chapters, Mr. Inebriated convulses into laughter inexplicably from time to time. That was how i spent the next three hours. But it wasn't all that bad, I did practise playing 'darts' on my handphone and now, I can get the bulls-eye effortlessly. Anyway, if this is the kind of prep talk I get before driving, it's no wonder people are lunatics on the road.

After the longest 8 hours of my life, I got to go home. Home sweet home. On the way back, something caught my eye. You simply couldn't miss it. The bright colours, gay lights and various contraptions meant to be riden on. It was a funfair ! Happy memories flooded through me. I remember the merry people, the noise, the candy stalls and stuffed toys. Well, it only proves that you can never be too old to enjoy even the sight of a funfair, albeit a very small one. On that note, I've got some housework to do.

P.s: Keith Urban ain't bad at all. Who cares if he's a druggie /alcoholic/whatever, the guy sure can sing !

Unbelievably, I slept at 10.15 yesterday. If you don't know me, I'm the girl who doesn't sleep unless it's after 2 in the morn.So,this morning I woke up at 7 and I was still extremely sleepy. I can't believe it,9 hours of sleep and I haven't got enough? Gosh, I'm getting old.

Anyway,I had to drag myself out of bed because I had to accompany my grandfather to the hospital for a check-up. We left the house at 8.30. His appointment was at 8.45. Early right? I mean, we'd be whizzed into the doc's office and whizzed out again in no time right? As i was later meant to discover, I could not have been more wrong. There I was, reading a book, while the nurse calls out names over a crackly,disfuntional microphone. At last, I hear my grandfather's name. I rush to the counter, only to have the nurse, very arbitrarily order me back to my seat, saying, I'll call your name when it's your turn. Desperately, I try to explain, but she cuts me off. Promptly ignoring me as if i was a gnat on the wall, she screams my grandfather's name into the microphone again. Suddenly,she looks at me and understanding dawns. Giving me a glare, as if to say "why didn't you tell me" she smacks a card into my opened palm. I look at the card and my heart sinks. It was a waiting number. What? More waiting? Dejectedly, I go back to the seat I was occupying next to my grandfather and sat down while the machine-thingie with the red numbers pings endlessly. The number in my hand was 13. The number on the teller was 9. Oh, not a long wait, my heart jumps with joy. The next number pings. Number 49. What??!! There's something wrong here. Why are the numbers jumping here and there and everywhere? I look towards the burly nurse and change my mind about going up there to inquire. So, 2 and a half hours crawls by like that. It's rather like playing bingo you know. A number's called, you wait in anticipation, and then your heart sinks when you realise it's not yours. At last, number 13 is called. yay !So, I take my grandfather in. I see two lady docs there. They're nice, pretty. One asks my grandfather to sit down.

Doc: So, uncle, how are you feeling? Fine? No problem? Good, I'll see you in 3 months time.

What??! We wait for 3 hours and that's all? Anyway,as if I haven't already made a fool of myself, as we're leaving the examination room, I hear footsteps rushing after me. Turning around, I see The Nurse behind me. Oh no. She stops right in front of me and waves a white card under my nose.

Nurse: Girl, didn't you hear me asking you to wait? What were you doing? dreaming?

I can only stutter an unintelligible response. I mean, in all honesty, I swear I didn't know she was talking to me. I mean, there were two doctors and two patients in the room. How in the world would I know she was referring to me to wait when she said "tunggu ya"..sigh.

Anyway,reached home at 11 something and the phone was ringing. I dash for it but it had stopped by the time i reach it. Knowing it must be Kim, I dialled back.

Kim: Hey, wanna go out to Parade at 11.50? I'll come around and pick you up.

O.K. The mad rush began. I took a quick shower, in which I accidentally used the wrong shampoo and in a panic, splashed freezing cold water over my head.
Luckily, the rest of the day passed uneventfully. Right now, I'm sleepy again. So guess I'll log off now.