Hey you, 

It's definitely been a long while hasn't it? The years have passed, but they've been kind. Definitely kinder than they used to be. There are still those times when I wish I could pick up the phone and send you a text. To rant. To share. To joke. To talk. 

• You'd be interested to know that we haven't stopped laughing at silly things ( well, mum and I of course ). Thank you for teaching us the insane fun in that. 
• You'd also be interested to know that we haven't stopped wishing. But we've come to accept that the past is what shapes the present. 
• You'd shake your head and offer me a handshake if I told you I now wear someone else's ring. Don't worry, I won't be walking down any aisles soon. 

I wish I could tell you these jumbled emotions in coherent sentences and words, but if you can't bottle up emotions, you sure can't ink them accurately either. It's true a lot has changed, but the thing is, you'll always be too young at 32. And always as sweet in our thoughts. 

Much love, 

Jo 

Xu Yao Ren Pei

Loneliness. That one untraceable confusion, a mangled mass of unfulfilled desire. It's the monster in the shadows that creeps up behind you when you're alone, and spins silken threads of darkness in the webs of  your desolation. 

We all fight him. Many of us hide in excuses. Unconsciously we seek respite in distraction. Some people work to exhaustion, problems disappear in stacks of paperwork, confusions get buried in datelines and tight schedules, and the monsters are kept away in office cabinets and file drawers. Then there are the risk-takers. The only way to know they're still alive is by pushing past each adrenaline rush, each heady burst of fear a strong reminder of the will to live. There are also the passionate lovers. In order to fill the gap, arms are open wide to all sorts of lovers. A counter-destructive sort of addiction to loss and excuses to stay angry and steep in rebellious bitterness. 

Mind over matter. Before you fight a battle, you have to acknowledge the presence of the enemy. 

Idyllic

Waking up in the warm security of your arms, your gentle breath whispering against my ear, I'd stay still awhile just to keep that moment close. There is beauty in staying still, in savouring. 

Stacks of warm pancakes, maple syrup running off the edges escaping in fluid sucrose rivers. Fluffy, syrupy goodness, an orchestra of textures and tastes. We'd throw some berries on it, I'd tease you about the tangy berries, and you'd tell me to load up on Vit C. 

Lazy quiet afternoons. Favourite tunes on the stereo. Curled up reading and getting lost in far away worlds.

Long, slow walks in the park. A quiet breeze ruffling invisible fingers through my hair, I'd cuddle closer to you. There's a picnic basket, a bottle of wine and some pretentiously fancy sandwiches waiting on a cozy blanket. We'd watch the sunset over the horizon, and talk of distant futures.

Inky dark skies, twinkling starlight, nestling in the crook of your arms, we'll listen to crickets sing the music of the night, a steady lull, I'll close my eyes and drift away. 

Dreams. We all dream. Existence, is idyllic. 

Luang Prabang, Laos

September 2012

The rest of your life is today

The sun glinted through the arches, casting off shards of sparkling reflections. The yellow of the floor, flanked by brilliant grey walls shone in vivid colour. Hues of blue, red, yellow all seemed to come alive, bristling in the crackling heat. It was a breathtaking sight, resplendent and glowing in natural light. 

The piercing ring of a phone woke her from her late afternoon reverie. Turning around to answer the call, she made a mental note to capture a picture of the scene. We all know how this story ends. Turning around, the sun had moved on, just as the seconds had crept by, growing up into large long minutes. All that was left was immortalized in her memory, enhanced by imagination, and brought to life in words again. 

Moments past.

We wait and wait for the rest of our lives to come strolling by, and so we spend today planning and planning for the future. We have a comprehensive report on what the rest of our lives are going to be and soon we let this vital reawakening slip past, this IS the rest of your life. The rest of your life, is today. 

Fun fair, Kajang

18 November 2012

You look naughty but I'm sure you're nice

I want to see the world through your eyes,

To love unashamedly, 

Because therein lies true courage. 

To light up with life's simple pleasures, 

Because life can and is simple. 

To revel, run, laugh and play,

Because celebrations exist as long as the mind allows.

To forget pride, fear, self-doubt

Because only you are allowed to be you.

To only fall in hugs, kisses and gentle reassurances, 

Because those falls will catch and clutch you in security.

To remember honesty and treasured moments, 

Because living a lie, would be cheating Life. 

To never doubt that when you give, 

You're also giving back to yourself.

One day, when I step back into the shoes of the child I was and am, 

I will be that brave once again

And to my little inspirations, 

I'm not sure if you'll see this in the distant future, 

But I hope when your beliefs are challenged, 

You'll always remember this moment. 

Contours

You'll never learn how to walk
if you don't first learn to pick yourself up after each fall.

You can't control the contours of your face, but you can control its expressions - Anon 

Moments like these

are to be treasured :)

Today's smile-inducer :

A friend is one who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words - Anon

Time

Because life isn't measured in the currency of time. It's moments and memories that make up the seconds and passing minutes.

Enjoy. And then pass it on.

Complexity

They say that time will tell all things.
Understand that you are complex because simplicity is a matter of how fast you get through these knots in life
Understand that it takes a lot of giving, and no expecting before you see any receiving.
Understand that you can never ever expect someone else to take the first step.
If it matters enough.
Jump
And jump high.

Duck

You rise and punch
You hit and run
Call me when you finally
grasp that bull by its horn
Until then
Keep ducking
The blows aren't gonna stop

Choices

Reminder to self : Every time you pick up a  menu and wonder what to eat, remember that it's a luxury that a lot of people don't have. 

Lazy stretches

So I spent the past 7 days exploring Northern Thailand, Luang Prabang and Vientiane. Laos is definitely a mythical place that has an easygoing nature about it. Quaint, pretty and rich in its historical culture, it was certainly an eye ( and pore , Oh the heat ! ) opening adventure. 

As I'm typing this, the travel dusts still cling to me whilst the dozens of pretty memories find cozy nooks to settle down in the recesses of my memory banks so I'll leave you with this picture I snapped at the local morning market. The locals have a saying in Lao : Sabai-sabai which means easygoing and carefree. 

Today's smile-inducer : It's hard to deny that this is the furry embodiment of " sabai-sabai "  

Till later, stay tuned ! 

Closure

If I could instill in you one thing after all these weeks of dragging myself out of bed at 'seemingly' ungodly hours of the morning, it would not be : 

To focus on the values in life, not price tags; 

you have guardians for that, 

Neither would it be 

dealing with strife and challenges; 

life will teach you that,

Nor can I guide you 

in making wise choices;

the Bible will shine that path for you

But i hope to impress upon you

the joy of reading, 

the escapes available in a strong imagination 

and pages upon pages of delicious prose. 

I hope that one day 

you'll open a book, 

and remember the sense of freedom you get 

from discovering new experiences 

in familiar words. 

TGIF

and wishful thinking  .... 

I almost forgot that today is Friday until someone said " TGIF ! " in the office and it hit me. Yet another week has come to a close. Boy, before you know it, Christmas is going to be coming up and then there'll be New Year's Eve celebrations and hello 2013. That is, if that Mayan prediction about the end of the world doesn't come true :p 

Thought I'd end the week with this quote  : 

" Your first kiss isn’t as important as your last. The math test really didn’t matter. The pie really did. The stuff you’re good at and the stuff you’re bad at are just different parts of the same thing. Same goes for the people you love and the people you don’t—and the people who love you and the people who don’t. The only thing that mattered was that you cared about a few people. Life is really, really short.”

--Ethan Wate, 'Beautiful Chaos'

And oh ! Today's smile-inducer : Strongbow FTW. 

P.s : This is an old picture. I'm typing this in my cozy cubicle in an underground basement lab workstation. 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead ... and Happy Malaysia Day in advance ! 

Cheers

3 words

Today's smile-inducer : Hope. It's the middle of a week that isn't going very right. I sat down today and read this 

" For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as i am fully known. And now these three remain : Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. "  - 1 Corinthians 13 : 12 - 13

My cup runneth over

Today's smile-inducer : When I was but a child and constantly whining about every little thing, my mother would say " Be grateful, and count your blessings " ... Now I truly see how lucky I am.   Countless blessings, big dreams and how my cup has runneth over with great loves.

This is a wonderfully beautiful reminder. Happy Sunday and have a blessed week ahead y'all

Good thoughts

Today's smile-inducer : 

Bleu

Today's smile-inducer : Counting one's blessings. 

When I was growing up, and when I didn't what I wanted, my mother would say " Well, count your blessings, and you'll realize your cup has runneth over ". Honestly, I could never understand that. I'm not getting that 3 feet dollhouse I've been wanting forever ? The world is ending ! Blessings ? What blessings ?! 

You know how they say that hindsight is always 20/20 ? Looking back, I realize how melodramatic things seem to be when you're right in the middle of the miasma, but when you take a step back and gain that aerial view, you see how things really are. The thing is, if that was true for something that seemed so important to us years ago, wouldn't the things we hold dear today fade as time goes by ? Why then do we hold so tightly to the things that irk us, and let the things that make us happy slip past unnoticed ? 

I took this picture at a construction that's happening behind the office. Every time I look at the workers at the construction, I see men who toil come sunshine or pouring rain because they believe that it is only by doing so that they can improve the circumstances of their life. I see fathers working hard for their children, young husbands wanting to get something for their new brides, and sons toiling to send some money home for an ailing mother. 

If they can do that, and yet listen to upbeat music, and joke and cajole ... what right do we have to complain about our comfy, cushy lives ? 

I know now what my mother meant all those years back. When you focus on the things that you do have, you lose sight of the things that you thought you wanted, because indeed, your cup has runneth over. 

Building glass houses in the sand

Today's smile-inducer : Finding out what trust really means. And holding on. It's incredibly liberating when you just let go of the inhibitions that have held you back and voluntarily choose to free fall. 

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody, is to trust them  - Ernest Hemingway

A shop with books in

Today's smile-inducer : is pretty much self-explanatory. This is a song about books, inspired by bookshops and written by a band who call themselves " The Bookshop Band ". Really doesn't get any better than that. Oh, and did I mention British bands are just utterly delightful ?

Enjoy !  And happy weekend everybody !


"A shop with books in" - a song inspired by bookshops, written for Independent Booksellers' Week 2012 by The Bookshop Band from The Bookshop Band on Vimeo.