Even when it hurts

This walk You’ve destined for me,

May not be the easiest of things

But I’ve learnt not to always ask for the easy ones

Because true sweetness can only be savoured if bitterness is first cringed at

Thank You,

For the days when I feel alone,

Because that is how I’m reminded

Of the beauty of never being lonely 

When You choose to reside in my heart

Thank You,

For the pain and heartaches

Because only then do I get the salve of your compassion

When Your touch heals me where it hurts

Thank You

For the tricky slopes of life

The high cliffs and low valleys

Because only then do I get to experience

how awesome it is to have You fight my battles

Thank You

For loss no matter how insufferable at the moment

Because only then am I reminded

That eternity is not what my mortal mind conceives

But eternity,

Is the everlasting fabric of Your perfect design.

The grace of which You wish to clothe me in,

And the emblem of which I am to carry.

*Pic credits*

She sees the way only a mother can

A tiny beating heart yet unborn,

A body to nourish, a haven to shield

and He created a mother’s womb

Little limbs, unsteady first steps,

For the first time, she lets go of the tiny fists,

You flail, you fall, you turn around in dazed confusion

And she nods “ You’re doing great ! One step at a time now”

Picking yourself up after each stumble becomes your first lesson

Packed lunchbox in hand,

Crayons and pencils in a bag too big,

You cling tightly and scream don’t go

As she pries those little fingers off

She tells you about new friends and fun discoveries

But doesn’t tell you how those finger imprints seared her heart

Tear smudged face, bruised knuckles

“ They called me stupid”

Her heart breaks but she holds you close

And shows you that being brave has nothing to do with upraised fists and hurtful words

Gangly limbs right on the cusp of adulthood

A world crumbling at the edges of confusion

A broken heart and voices that cannot be drowned

In a blur of heartache you lash out an “ I loathe you “

And to closed doors and teenage mutiny she whispers “ I love you still “

Wise words spoken to mend that heart,

even if it means taking a piece of hers to fill the gaps

Bowties and gowns, lace-veiled dreams and hopes,

New rings to seal new vows,

She beams and holds the hand now larger than hers

Her heart screams “ Stay mine “ but she lets go

She sees the tiny beating heart, 

The unsteady steps,

Tear smudged face, bruised knuckles

Gangly limbs

Closed doors and broken hearts
Bowties and gown,
New rings to seal new vows,

She sees the way only a mother can

*****

This is to the mothers

Who vex and nag, and worry and love dearly

This is to the fathers who sometimes become mothers

Brave lone navigators of the sticky path of fussy toddlers and teenage tantrums

This is to the eyes, hands and hearts that care,

not by blood, but because you know that love does not discriminate

Happy Mother’s Day

Boston is but one of many

A little girl, 8 years old

“ Grandpa, why are there bad people in the world ? “

There is no why, only hope

and prayer

The blank of intolerance,

That smearing blur of hate,

blinding anger

Are all these melded into one big ball of confusion

Until your cause can only be justified through tears and blood ?

Does peace and quiet heighten the thunders in your head ?

Can your voice only be heard through explosions and broken lives ?

Does this calamity of senseless loss

Shed more sense in the roar of your mindless lashings ?

and does it heal your wound to cut another ?

Is your walk less lonely

When a crowd falls with you ?

Does it give you sight to blind another ?

That ticking bomb in your hand, does it match the race of your discontent ?

Does it make you feel powerful to hold

powerless lives at your temporary mercy ?

Can you exchange your pain

for the bleeding heart of a parent’s loss ?

Question after question after question

Hurt upon hurt

Contagious confusion

But only one thing rings clear

The answers are not in clenched fists

and bitter vengeance

because retribution does not decode the answer

A little girl, 8 years old

Broken dreams and shattered breaths

a future prematurely robbed and erased

There is no why, only hope

and prayer

*pic credits*

Blindness

Blindness, 

is not the loss of physical sight, 

It is not the inability for your eyes to absorb 

and process colours and images

Blindness, 

is the inability to let go

even when holding on leaves scars on the very palms that grip

Blindness, 

is the inability to absorb thoughts, 

to see that it has to take white to make a sea of grey,

and that even in the right light, 

the black glitters 

Blindness, 

is the rash tongue, 

the unforgiving heart 

and the vengeful spirit

Blindness, 

is the stubborn soul

that refuses to be vulnerable, pliant, human

Blindness, 

is the inability to see that by not forgiving

and by building a cage for every hurt, pain and injustice, 

you invest so much of yourself 

until every curve, every bar, every sinewy joint of that unyielding prison,

becomes you. 

Step out and look up

Today's smile-inducer : Faith. Best piece of advice a pastor gave in his sermon last Sunday : " When faced with difficulties in life, step out, and look up " 

People are often unreasonable and self-centred,

Forgive them anyway, 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. 

Be kind anyway, 

If you are honest, people may cheat you. 

Be honest anyway, 

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. 

Be happy anyway, 

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. 

Do good anyway, 

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. 

Give your best anyway, 

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. 

It was never between you and them anyway. 

-Kent M. Keith

Track on

Today's smile-inducer : Knowing what you want, knowing how to get what you want.

Where art thou,
You with the fierce desires,
and relentless spirit.

Where art thou,
You with the carefree laugh,
and crazy banters.

Where art thou,
You with the kind words,
and eyes for others.

Where art thou,
You who knows what you want,
and never lets anyone else say otherwise.

Track on,
You'll make it past the bend,
where sweet surprises mingle with unvoiced desires.

Uncaged

Today's smile-inducer : Freedom in closed quarters. Snapped this picture of a safety ladder that looked so much like a cage from the bottom up. Ever so constricting on the climb up, it's only when you reach the top that you realize it's been there all this while ; a reassuring presence, steely arms to catch you when you fall. 

Restless souls, sleepless nights, 

Raging hearts, doubting thoughts,

 Flightless dreams still clutched tight, 

Changing perspectives, tirelessly fought. 

I change my thoughts, I change my world - Norman Vincent Peale 

Captain of my soul

Today's smile-inducer : Anticipating the storm, enduring the torrents

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul. 

-William Ernest Henley-

Feminist

I walk the streets by day,
Infuse subconscious minds by night,
On trains, trams, a busy highway,
Exert my best to prove my might

I'll open my own doors I say,
God gave me arms too you know,
My share of the bill I insist to pay
Times have changed it's good to know

Such a petty word they call my name,
So innocuous my laugh is harsh,
It's men I seek to tame,
His dominion I just might squash

Murderer of chivalry and gallantry,
Me of all they accuse,
At my feet lay not blame, do not even try
You are your own sorry excuse

To the old and young I preach,
Let not their rights be breached,
Them I long to teach,
Sadly only the young and mouldable I've reached

Sexual harassment,
I invented the word,
To salve my girls' predicament,
That their voices shall slay like the sword

I stand not the bigot and misogynist,
Ever will I be the optimist,
My girls I train never be the pessimist,
I am many things but they call me feminist.

Distraction

Distraction, 

the caress of a whisper

a cheeky affection

Distraction, 

the seduction of music, 

melodious dances of distinction

Distraction, 

tantalizing shared secrets,

a mild palpitation

Distraction,

the soothing sound of raindrops, 

a calming sensation

Distraction, 

the smell of fresh coffee, 

a large cup equals satisfaction

Distraction, 

the World Wide Web, 

an answer though for every question

Distraction, 

furry quivers, waggedy tails, eager licks,

Infectious attention

Distraction, 

an endless list,

fearing not extinction

Distraction, 

Ah! Of Floating thoughts,

Bane of fleeting concentration