Fleeting moments

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To persevere is to endure. There are things that brush past you and before you’re able to turn around and catch hold of it, it fleets off again. A teasing strand of long hair on sensitive skin, an accidental tangle of fingers, a vision of childhood dreams that creeps up in the chime of ringing phones and crisp business suits.

In a time that seems like eons ago now, I remember the fiery sun being swallowed in sips by mountains and the endless horizon, the whisper of a breeze running its silky fingers through my tangled hair, and the haunting scent of wild flowers. Lulled by the sweet sweet music of waves greeting shore, I turned to seek a friendly face, a hand to hold but I was alone. The undulating waves, and gathering dusk, carried that wish of mine, the day will come when I find that person.

Obsession to some, might be mere survival to others. I don’t want to reach out in dreams only to wake up clutching air.

Use somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see,

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

-Use Somebody, Kings of Leon

The phrase ‘use and throw’ used to be only limited to disposable items, eating utensils, toiletries, diapers, well, you get the picture. I must have been sleeping in an entirely foreign land and missed the moment the phrase applied to ‘friends’ too.

When I build friendships, I lay the founding bricks in small, hesitant pieces. But when I finally trust, I tend to go all in, full throttle, all or nothing. That is probably the reason why I’m always finding myself the victim of crash and burns, hit and runs.

At times I feel like confronting these tormentors of mine. “Hey! I know what you’re up to”. Truth is, I think I lack not the courage for confrontation but rather the strength to search alone again. I’m naïve enough to lay all my trust repeatedly in the person who takes it, that fragile little globe of feeling and crush it. And as I lay in the middle of the glittering splinters of my hopes and dreams, I see despair, desperation and knowledge that this would have happened through tear-blind eyes.

I’m tired of second-guessing intentions. I’m tired of trying to pry through the masks that people don. I need to know that when I lean in and whisper a secret, you’ll keep it in your heart, just like I would yours. I need to know that when I fall, you’d laugh with me, not at me. I need to know that when I reach out, blind in the dark, you’d be my eyes, ears and heart. I need to be stupid, but right for once.

Call me silly if you want to, I’m adamant to live my fantasy. That fantasy where people really, truly care for the person that I am, not what I can do for them. Rude awakenings will only harden my resolve. I’m stubborn enough to want to look at the glass as half full. Maybe it’s to my detriment that I prefer to find friends for keeps, not keep friends for use. Right now, I really could use somebody...

The things I say

When I was in my second year in college, I had to be an emcee for the Project Design Exhibition or better known as ProDex . It's an annual exhibition showcasing the final year Engineering and School of Arts and Science student projects. 

So, on the morning of the launch, I woke up bright and early and skipped breakfast since I was too engrossed in running through the program. Now, my co-emcee was my senior and one big joker. Great voice, fantastic personality, tall, and too-bad for me in possession of the mentality of a typical boy...

This is a true account of my 5 minutes of fame shame...(I don't even know why I'm writing this...)

Right before the launch started, about the time the guests started arriving, I turned to my co-emcee and said

"I'm hungry..."

To which he went

"Mmm.....that just sounds sooo suggestive"

As I was about to reply, a crew member tapped me on the back and whispered

"Guys, the microphones are on. We can hear you all the way from the back"

Needless to say..I got a natural blush all through the launch. Who needs Maybelline rouge? Just get a male co-emcee who constantly thinks of..........food. (Oh, and did I mention the Minister of Science, Technology and Innovation was amongst the guests? *starts digging a hole to hide in*) 

Su Yuin, out! 

When silence isn't welcome...

The way my house is structured is really funny. The reason I say this is because my bathroom window acts as some sort of funnel which amplifies any sound and this can be heard from my neighbour's house. I know this because whenever the kids next door get into a squabble they enjoy tormenting their youngest sister by locking her in the bathroom and the poor kid'll be screaming her lungs out. 

So, whilst taking a shower today, World War 3 or4 or 5 or 6 or 99 (I've since lost count) erupted next door. With aunty-and-uncle-next-door playing referee, I suddenly decided to sing this song we used to dance aerobics to when I was about 13? 14? It's a catchy tune really, one that gets your feet tapping and heart racing. And the only part I remember is the chorus which goes like this

Boom boom boom boom

I want you in my room

To spend the night together, 

Together in my room....

And so there I was, singing the chorus over and over again, each time louder than the last. It was then that I belatedly realized something. The bathroom next door, Had. Gone. Utterly. Silent. 

=.=" ( I swore never to use emoticons like these in my blog but I think this occasion warrants an exception...)

Looks like I don't need anyone to make an April's Fool outta me.....I've gone and done a pretty good job of it myself...

Happy April's Fool everyone !!