Monday, March 30, 2009


Huddled in a dark corner, I heard his laboured breathing. Heavy footsteps crept nearer and the dark shadow he cast lengthened with each lunging stride. My grip tightened on the rusty old penknife I had grabbed whilst fleeing for safety. I sensed him inching closer, his acrid breath tainting the air,melding with the choking scent of fear and nervous anticipation emanating from my every pore. Could he sense me? Surely he could not hear my heart screaming in my throat... Did he know I was alone? Vulnerable? Afraid? Fingers clenching and unclenching, syncing in rhythm with the erratic beating of my heart, I waited. 

At last, he stopped right at the spot I wanted him. After but a moment's hesitation, I walked out from my corner in the wall. I had caught him off-guard, I knew from his sharp intake of breath. My time was then. I lunged and in one swift movement drove the knife deep into his stomach. At eye level to his chest, I clenched my eyes shut as the sharp edge of the blade ate greedily through flesh and adipose tissue, even as the sticky slippery ooze of blood coated my fingers, I kept my grip steady, refusing to let that first tremble break through the false bravado for I knew defeat was just as imminent as the last glimpse of survival. 

I stamped down bile and choked back tears for though I kept my eyes shut, I could sense the dilation of pupils, hear the anguish moan of pain as death hung in the air like a heavy curtain, ready to cuff its heavy shackles around this one lost soul. It would haunt me but I had no choice. I had a duty. I was the only one left to protect the family..... 

From far away, I heard the dog bark. The familiar pitter patter of paws and the scraping of cement as the puppy let out a playful bark for dinner, the cacophony punctuated by the musical tinkle of metal cutlery and porcelain plates being laid on the table. Slick with sweat, I awoke amidst the miasma of being suspended between two worlds. One where reality resides, and the other where reality is what the mind concocts. 

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Forvermore it shall be?

Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be....

Best proposal line ever.. As I'll never be the one asking, this one's a tip for you guys out there. Dang, now whoever's gotta propose to me has gotta beat that *cheeky grin

P.s: I'm really into old movies and musicals these days so I'm walking along on clouds and feeling all sappy and gooey... Went to a wedding today. Actually two! More soon. It's late now and I've gotta go load up on some sleep. Shall leave you with a favourite song of mine. Goodnight, my someone from the Music Man. Wanted to upload the video but too tired for that right now...another time perhaps?

Goodnight, my someone,
Goodnight, my love,
Sleep tight, my someone,
Sleep tight, my love,
Our star is shining it's brightest light
For goodnight, my love, for goodnight.
Sweet dreams be yours, dear,
If dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight
True love can be whispered from heart to heart
When lovers are parted they say
But I must depend on a wish and a star
As long as my heart doesn't know who you are.
Sweet dreams be yours dear,
If dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

50 Things

A confession here. I had a line up of topics I wanted to write about but for now, they're too heavy to deal with whilst balancing revisions for my EC papers. So, I decided to 'tag myself' and copy this 50 things meme from Jared

  1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? According to mum, I was named after Joanna, one of the few women named in the Bible who had no significant role as a great leader but yet was mentioned for her faithfulness to Jesus. My chinese name was inspired from her favourite author at the time, Han Su Yin. Gee, it's too bad I only inherited her name and not the gift of the pen....
  2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? about 15 minutes ago watching Marley and me. 
  4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I don't really like meat....will tofu meat do?
  5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? If my many dolls count then yes.....
  7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? When I'm in a bad mood then yes. 
  9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? One of the items on my top 10 list of things to do before I die. 
  10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Anything with berries and fruits and flakes. 
  11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope. Just cause I don't like touching my shoelaces when I next wear my shoes....Yea, I'm weird that way. 
  12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Must I really choose ONLY ONE.....? That'll be green tea ice cream till the next best thing comes along..
  13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their fingers... and teeth. Everything else comes secondary..or tertiary in this case *shrugs
  14. RED OR PINK? Red's the sexiest colour on earth in my opinion, it's the colour of love, passion,danger and life....especially this shade that the in-house designer Josh calls Valentine Red...I guess the name says it all. 
  15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My insecurity. How I spend 90% of the time doubting myself and then spend the remaining 10% of the time convincing myself I'm not good enough. 
  16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My grandpa
  18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Erm, grey shorts and lime green flip flops...
  20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? White because it neutralizes everything....and doesn't clash with anything either...
  22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The boy because I was being difficult..
  23. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Gymnastics? 
  24. HAIR COLOR? Black.
  25. EYE COLOR? Brown.
  26. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? I don't like the idea of poking something into my no. Besides, people mistake me for a 15 year old so maybe glasses will make me look older...(just wait till I'm 35 and decide to want to look younger)
  27. FAVORITE FOOD? Anything that's spicy and sour. I.e Asam Laksa. Oh, and anything Italian too. 
  28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I'm still afraid there might be monsters under my bed and in my I guess the answer's self evident
  29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Marley and me. (The dog's really the star in this one)
  30. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Greenish, turqoise-ish...
  31. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. We have summer here all year long anyway...
  32. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugz...coz I'm a snuggly wuggly kinda person. 
  33. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I don't intend on tagging anyone ..
  34. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? same as Ques 33....
  35. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING NOW? The Pact by Jodi Picoult and Not Without My Sister by Kristina & Celeste Jones, & Juliana Buhring....and yeap, I enjoy switching in between few books per time....I'm fickle minded that way.
  36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't use one although my last one was shaped like an apple :D
  37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Hardly watch TV these days, but I did watch A Passage to India on DVD last night....
  38. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Keith Urban, Rascal Flatts, Diana Krall, Sondre Lorche, Josh Groban, Il Divo, Taylor Swift, Jason Mraz, recently John Mayer and this could go on and on and on....
  39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles win hands down. 
  40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? In the ethereal land that we drift to in sleep? Home is only always a telephone call away so I guess I've never really been far away..
  41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I prefer to think of myself as a jack of all trades, master of none...
  42. WHERE WERE U BORN? Ipoh, land of beansprouts, white coffee and I'm sure we're famous for something else but for now Michelle Yeoh..
  43. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING?Anyone who decides to do this. It's 50 random yet interesting things that helps summarize you...
  44. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE or SIGNIFICANT OTHER? A knock-out combo of bossy attitude and microwaved spaghetti bolognese...*wink*
  45. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? Cancer or Dragon....sheesh...water and's no wonder I'm always in a muddle...
  46. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH 7 PEOPLE WHO WOULD THEY BE? Top on the list would be both my grandmothers, a guy named Ernest, grandpa and family. I'd want that dinner to last forever which might never be enough to fill in the empty spaces left behind but I guess that's the stuff that dreams are made of.....Oh well....
I have no idea what happened to number 47, 48, 49 and 50 but I do think that 46 things are enough for now ..don't you? 
If you have the time, fill this list up and be sure to let me know..


Saturday, March 21, 2009


So here's the deal. Mum started cooking at a very young age. Was it twelve? Well, young anyway. So, in my mother's manual on child raising, a girl has got to learn the ropes around 'kitchen manners' in order to be 'woman'. So, today, after a nice breakfast, we made a pit stop at Tesco to grab some groceries and necessities, in which mum decided to give me a crash course on grocery shopping. Apparently, you're not marketable in the marriage market if you know nuts about marketing *winks*

As the pictures show, I now know how to choose garlics, onions and ginger. Baby steps ladies and gentlemen, baby steps. 

At the checkout counter, mum kept piling and piling and piling stuff onto the conveyor. We tried asking her to stop and wait till it moves before adding more to which she kept replying "one last one..." at least for ten 'last ones'....the result?

She had to hold her product of stubborn-ness to keep them from falling off. 

And to think of the times she admonishes me "I have absolutely NO idea where you got that stubborn streak of yours"....

Friday, March 20, 2009

Of arrogance and ignorance

I guess it's safe to say the latest buzz this time of the year would most likely be the American Idol Season 8. I was pretty hyped out when I found out it was Country week this time around. I grew up listening to country music. Mum loved it and my all time favourite song growing up was Grandpa by the Judds. Anyone who knows me well, knows I adore anything country-inspired.

The contestant that ultimately caught and kept my attention was none other than Adam Lambert. Never have I got goosebumps creeping up my spine that way. Never was I so spellbound by any performer that I couldn't tear my gaze away no matter how hard I tried. He sure was enrapturing. In a demonic, satanic kind of way.

I was utterly disgusted! And no, it has nothing to do with the way he wears his hair or his penchant for black nail-polish and kohl. What irked me was his absolute disregard for the theme. Tell me, which part of his rendition of 'Ring of Fire' sounded anything at all like country???

How can one call oneself a musician when you can't even differentiate between different genres of music? Such arrogance and disrespect! Did he think he was really that good to add a Middle Eastern flavour to a song made popular by Johnny Cash, one of the big names of country music. I started playing the piano at 5 and 12 years of classical training followed after that. I'm no Mozart, but I do have a strict sense of structure ingrained in me. The world would be in chaos if people just went around changing things with utter disrespect at their whims and fancy.

What Adam Lambert has proven so far is raw ONE and ONLY ONE genre. Undeniable, the guy has a loud voice, and the moves. But versatility? Week after week after week it's the same old routine, just different lyrics to the same tune.

I rarely tune into mainstream music these days thanks to all the noise that people so loosely call 'music'. Sure, there are some catchy tunes out there.....but whatever happened to the class and elegance attributed to music? They say that music is the heart and mind's reflection of feelings and emotions written out in song. Judging from the lilt, rhythm and lyrics of modern day music only leads me to the conclusion that the modern generation is filled with hate, anger, lust and tastelessness.

Image from

So, coming back to the question.........would you like this to be your idol? Someone to look up to? To revere and emulate? The they say, is yours.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The values we hold dear

A youngster cuts into line in front of me and as disgusted as I am by such attitudes, the phrase 'Survival of the fittest' flashes through my mind. In this modern day, the line between right and wrong fades into a thick blur, evolving into desperate attempts of the human race to survive in these trying times.

Is robbing going to end up being a means to an end instead of a deed looked at with contempt. This girl is seriously confused since many large corporations in fact rob the people in broad daylight, and GET AWAY WITH IT. Take for example the rise and fall of fuel prices, a game played by invisible yet tangible forces. It is funny how the majority of people, being the public who should in fact have a say in these matters end up being mere pawns in a high end game of chess between these forces.

If I were to have children in the future, what then would I teach them? The mere thought sends shudders running up and down my spine. Are we going to teach the next generation to fight back and stand their ground, no matter what it takes? Or should we offer the left cheek when punched in the right? Are we encouraging people to live in a world of grey instead of one where black and white are two distinct exclusive colours?

How long can we walk away from trouble before it morphs into an ugly monster trailing us, making any action a pointless remedy....where have all the values of the past generations diminished to? How much power can we allow the little bit of evil imminent in us all before it overtakes us and the world becomes an ugly place. Maybe global warming would stop being our greatest concern because if these attributes are continually endorsed, we would end up killing each other even before the Arctic melts....

A flower from the garden I captured the other day.
Even intriguing beauty like this is easier to figure out.....

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Train thoughts

Hello all, 

I know I've abandoned this blog for way too long but I'm back :) and hopefully to stay :P The following was written in a rickety train so forgive the writer if the thoughts penned are as rickety :)

I'm sitting down writing this in the most unlikely of places, one yet undeniably the best to get my thoughts out. The mechanical to-and-fro rocking of the coach right now prohibits the proper jotting down of thoughts as I valiantly balance  3 bags, a book, my Ipod and handphone whilst juggling the task of penning this down. The guy beside me probably thinks I'm a basket case but I simply had to capture the moment in the only way I do best. Writing. 

I remember when i started this blog I did it to immortalize memories that pass me by. I'm a people watcher, even way back when i was 6 or so in the swimming pool, i'd rather soak and idle away and obviously get screamed at by mum :P 

Now, 15 years down the road, little has changed. The best places to observe and watch people in various phases of life is in the LRTs and other public transportation. There's the little child, hyped up on candy and heightened enthusiasm that only children possess, there's the young professional, serious and confident in facing what is most probably the most crucial part of his career, there's the young mother, complete with her platoon of sticky fingers and quick feet, and then there's always the unmistakable sight of young lovers, so absorbed in a world entirely their own, seduced by the syrupy haze of young love. And then, once in a see something that warms you thoroughly from the inside out. 

There's this elderly couple sitting right across the aisle from me sharing a pack of McD fries. As my own pack of fries sits cold and unloved, my gaze is riveted on this couple for in one slice of eternity it gels as if the world has honed and centred on them, so comfortable in the company of each other as they gaze out at the passing countryside. 

I'm right now battling an inner warring of emotions. The jaded side of me scoffs and in one breath crushes out the secreat yearning of the girl in me. Will I too someday get to experience, understand and appreciate the relationship these people share? The ease at which they slip into each other's thoughts, the love and care still so eminent while they speak in muted tones and the clear ring of muffled laughter as they share a private joke. I'm jarred out of this reverie of mine as the elderly man's phone blares out a melody far too antiquated for the people of my generation..

As I restlessly skip through songs on my Ipod, I can't help but wonder...Will I ever learn how to stay still, enjoy the moment instead of flitting restlessly like the butterfly i'm slowly morphing into.....?