Secure

We live in a world 

where the things that used to make sense 

no longer apply

It is a world

that feeds fear instead of love 

kindles anger instead of goodwill 

It is a world 

with a hundred dark shades of grey

and glimpses of white get swallowed into obscurity 

It is a world 

where girls carry pepper sprays and personal alarms 

instead of light hearted steps and clear minds 

It is a world 

where children are expected to act adult

and adults yearn for lost childhoods 

A world 

with blurred spectrums 

and colored lenses 

A world 

where faith gets lost 

but in it all hope, hope continues to shine

Today's smile-inducer : Ploughing through the bad days, because they make the good days better. 

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Good things

Today's smile-inducer : This song came on in the middle of editing the-never-ending-report. Guess I really needed it :)

Absence is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the small, but kindles the great  -  Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

Apologize

Today's smile-inducer : If you love something, go get it. I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who constantly show me what a powerful fuel enthusiasm can be. It's a good feeling knowing you did the right thing because at the end of the day you answer only to yourself and God. 

There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never. Ever. Never. 

- Ryan Adams 

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That which we call a rose ..

Today's smile-inducer : I often get cute texts from La Maman. Today was no exception when I woke up to an excited " I just found your name mentioned in Luke 8:3 ! I named you aptly. God will bless those who serve Him ! " ... Erm, gee mum. Love the enthusiasm ! I've only had this name for like ... 24 years after all ...   

I kid. Mes parents sont très mignons !  

Starlight

The stars, 

Oh how they twinkle and tease

Little winks in beds of velvet nights

Distant galaxies

Faraway unknowns

your heart skips two beats 

One for feeling special 

another ; humbled 

The stars, 

Oh how they seduce and enthrall .... 

Today's smile-inducer : Coming in contact with nature. There is nothing more rewarding than touching nature and watching it smile back at you. If only one could bottle the stars and fall asleep watching them twinkle and wink. 

Today's smile-inducer : 

" I've been told that people in the army
do more by 7:00 am
than I do
in an entire day
but if I wake
at 6:59 am
and turn to you
to trace the outline of your lips
with mine
I would have done enough
and killed no one
in the process ... "

- Shane Koyczan

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Far from the madding crowd

Today's smile-inducer : Being different in a crowd. You know how sometimes you stand in a crowd, and you get swamped, thereby losing the ability to choose your own direction because of the power the crowd exerts on you ? Try as you may, there's an intangible force that seems to want to govern your every step. It's hard to break away from that, but when you do ... boy does it feel good. You just need to want something badly enough to go against the power of the crowd =) 

It's always easier to take the path of least resistance, but you only get the best views once you've scaled the top of the mountain. 

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has even been before - Einstein

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Pick your battles

A hot head, rash decisions and a laser tongue will buy a girl nothing but pitfalls and deep dens. There are so many things that could potentially prick me that the best piece of advice I've heard over the years still remains " Pick your battles. You can't fight them all and not burn out " 

Today's smile-inducer : The clarity of thought that comes with being able to tell the difference between what's worth fighting for and what's made for the dumpsters. 

Just sayin'  

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One of those days

It's one of those days when try as you may, it's hard to keep your game face on and look at the bright side of things. Incidentally, this calls for more reason to look for something to be happy with. 

Today's smile-inducer : Conversations 

le père : Guess what I'm doing ? Reading reviews on both the SIII and the Note. 

la fille : Woohoo. I'd like a full report on your findings soon, minion. :p 

Family hierarchy, what hierarchy ? 

I'm blessed. Spoilt, but blessed. =)

A dad is a son's first hero and a daughter's first love. 

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Humility

Today's smile-inducer : This would come out sounding like an oxymoron, but there is pride to be found in humility. Today's sermon at church has been inspiring, to say the least. Some may call bible stories, stories, or fairy tales. Call them what you may, it can't be denied that these are rich tales of victory against strife, circumstances, and difficulties. The one thing in common is that these biblical figures have never stopped believing, and kept through to what defines them even in the face of adversity. They've remained humble through greatness, and through their humility, touched the lives of many. It is indeed possible to always always keep a positive attitude and hold your head up high in difficult times because of what resides WITHIN you. 

" Personality may be inherited, but character is developed " 

Alone time

Today's smile-inducer : Time alone. Perhaps it's just me, but there are days when I crave for non-human company. These are the days when the world around you seems to buzz with activity, and you get this sense that you're viewing everything from a third person's perspective because you're so detached from it all. Today was one of those days, and I'm blessed with the luxury of cocooning up in my room with a good book, a bunch of grapes and a bowl of nuts. Sometimes spending time alone is heavenly. Yes, I'm a narcissistic introvert. 

Hope your weekend's going on swimmingly !  

I've been trying to introduce her to the love of words, but Daisy Moo seems to only have her eye on food, sweet daughter of mine. Just you and me, baby :) 

Stars and poems

Today's smile-inducer : As cheesy as this is going to come out sounding, there's nothing more romantic than a string of words crafted together in the hands of a love-tipped tongue. Shakespeare made my day.

" Doubt thou the stars are fire 

Doubt thou the sun doth move 

Doubt truth be a liar, 

But never doubt I love. " 

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Enlightenment

Today's smile-inducer : You know that feeling when the imaginary light bulb above your head lights up  and you go " now why didn't I ever think of it that way ? " Priceless. 

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Principles

Today's smile-inducer : Principles. They're there for a reason. Stick to them and you'll find the intangible rewards that are fulfilling and satisfying. Break them, and you'll find yourself veering further and further away from the things that make up who you are until you morph into a being you no longer want to be acquainted with. There are so many lessons to learn in adversity, I'm glad I get to savour each one. 

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Fighter

Today's smile-inducer : The will to pick yourself up regardless of how many times you fall. Positive perspective is always keeping your eye on the horizon, not on the ground.

Commitments

We all have them. They're the things you promised the person in the mirror you'd get done, but somehow other things get in a way and you're tempted to cheat on those promises. 

Today's smile-inducer : Sticking to commitments and surpassing goals. I wanted to start out with 15, so tempted to give in after 10, but I pushed through to 16. Now let's see how well I keep to this. Writing it here's gonna be a black and white reminder to keep holding on even when the tides roll in and the ropes get too slippery to grip  :) 

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In pursuit of happiness

I started this some time back to remind me of the little things we often take for granted until the time comes when they become something we 'had'.  These are the little things that make life beautiful, in spite of the storms that may come by once in a while. 

Today, I'd like to be happy for honesty. There may be lies by omission in honesty, but today I'm glad for centre points. Step by tiny step ... 

Sometimes

I wish you could say " I'm here "
instead of " I wanna be there "

Gravity

I feel the world spin recklessly out of my grasp, 

I feel control slip through my fingertips, 

like spun silk, 

caress my hazy cobwebby memories, 

But I still sight the beacon, 

And I'll hold on 

For you're the force that keeps me rooted, 

My gravity in a weightless miasma ... 

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On the wings of an angel

I should be calm,
I should know she's in a better place,
away from the hurt, the pain, the disillusions,
But I'm angry,
and frustrated
Because
24 year olds don't die of cancer !
24 year olds chase their dreams,
24 year olds look adventure in the eye,
24 year olds fall in love,
24 year olds, get their hearts trampled on,
and 24 year olds, GROW !

They may get hurt, they may get broken down, but essentially, they get chances at life !

I want to scream that it's unfair,
I don't want to ignore all these emotions bottled up inside,
I don't want to act 'adult'
because your light was doused just at its start,
and away you left on the wings of an angel.

RIP dear friend, the memories will always be something to cherish.

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Colours of the soul

You tell me your days are painted blue,

I’ll choose to live Skittle colored days

You tell me your heart is speckled grey,

I’ll hold tight to the veins , maroon fueled pumps of life

You tell me your sun is jaundiced,

I’ll paint rainbows in the rain

You say the sunrise brings cold days,

I’ll revel in the warmth of fiery sunsets

You find a stranger in your reflection,

I only wish you’d see the promise hidden in your eyes

You hold the palette in your hands,

You hold the colours to the soul. 

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Demain Sera Parfait

Je veux chanter, 
Je veux te faire oublier, 
Ton ame en peine, 
Ton manque de veine, 
Je veux chanter, 
Et te baratiner, 
Demain sera parfait 

I want to sing,
I want to make you forget,
Your tormented soul,
Your lack of luck,
I want to sing,
And persuade you that,
Tomorrow will be perfect.

Keep calm

Dad said : Pray and the venom shall be turned into honey. 

Certainly He works in wondrous ways :) 

Speaking of which, The Hunger Games ... anyone else in on that hype ?  

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Malaysia Luxury Property

It’s that time in one’s life when you look around, and it seems as if just about everyone around you has started settling down and laying roots. Wedding invitations and housewarming invites have been filling my calendars this year so all in all, the new year started out with the promise of lots of fun and exciting celebrations to attend. A huge part of settling down involves getting one’s own property, and this is perhaps one of the most looked forward part of moving out on one’s own. Property scouting can be either a headache or a joy if you’ve got the right resources and the right links to go about looking for a place. With these online universities you can become an expert in real estate management. 

Recently, a friend of mine managed to find an awesome place to move into, which inadvertently led to my discovery of  PropWall. From the first time I clicked onto the home page of the website, I’ve been amazed, enthralled and joyous at this wonderful site. Pristinely organized, the website offers ads, and information about available places for rent or purchase. Navigating around the site is easy, and properties are categorized based on location, and availability. The website even has a list of top properties in the country, making it extremely easy for people who are not familiar with Malaysian real estate to narrow down the choices available to them. There are price listings as well, so you get a realistic estimation of the price of each property.

I love that the site provides an ample amount of photos of various properties, so it’s easy for you to make your shortlist instead of having to drive all the way to the exact location only to find out that it doesn’t suit your requirements. Needless to say, I’ll be spending quite a bit of time poring over all the properties available in my vicinity whilst building the image of my dream home in mind. 

Lock and Key

Note to self : 

Every lock has a key. If the search for the appropriate key fails, there's always the art of lock-picking, failing which there's always a sledgehammer, electric saw, and sheer indomitable will. 

Didn't come this far to allow small setbacks like this to tear me down. Definitely made of much stronger stuff. Try as they may to bring me down, they will never succeed. Not without my permission. Not in this life. 

Here's your challenge. Meet it ; or back off. 

RIP

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent - Marilyn Vos Savant 

Woke up after 5 hours of sleep ( which is a lot comparatively ) , got to the lab, set up the experiment, risked  frostbite and oxygen-displacement-induced suffocation and 6 hours later came the dreaded call to collect the remains of the sample. " Operation terminated " callously marked the cause of demise. It's been a week of sleepless nights, late dates, bonding and tough love, but as with all passionate affairs, this ended with a fizzle and black ash.  

It's been a good run sweetheart, but some things just aren't meant to be. If fate allows, you'll bring me more joy, but Monday's simply not your day. 

Gah, did I just write an obituary for my lab sample ? I need to get out more ... but I'm hitting "Enter" either way. Thank you for reading. Here goes ! 

*click 

Succinct

I'm nowhere near to being a religious nut and I have an intolerance for fanatics, but I think this just sums it all. :) No wonder the video's gone viral.

iBilik - Sublets Master !

Dragon dances, cherry blossoms and an over indulgence in snacks and goodies marks the end of a year in the chinese calender and the festive welcoming of a brand new year. It also marks the busiest time of the year as people journey back to their home towns to visit and spend quality time catching up with friends and family. The smell of cookies in the air, the crackle of firewords and the excited chatter or kin fill the air with a sense of celebration and jovialty.

This year’s been a pretty hectic one for me and it is with a pretty heavy heart that I have to stay back in my lab and put in extra hours to catch up with work. The good news is that my mum’s coming up and spending a glorious week with me here. It’s going to be so much fun driving her around the city, partaking of the many wonders and delicacies that KL has to offer.

I’ve been looking around for a room for the both of us to lodge in during her short stay here. Thankfully, someone told me about iBilik, which is a wonderful online service to help in locating rooms for rent and places to stay either for a short term or long term basis. The site’s really easy to navigate around and I’m pretty thankful that it’s helped me narrow down available places to lodge in and various other sublets available around the city. Travelling around the city is going to be so much more convenient now that we’ve found an easy place that’s a stone’s throw away from the major attractions.

Life hasn’t been all work and no play. For the first time in a long while, a close friend of mine’s coming here to visit from Shanghai, so we’ve got a whole host of activities and fun planned out. It’s a good thing that I stumbled upon this website since it’s helped heaps in smoothing out our travel plans as we plan to visit other states as well. Searching for hotels during this peak season was no mean feat so it’s been a blessing and a great help. Suffice to say, I’ll be welcoming the dragon year playing tourist around the major attractions of the city, indulging in way too much good food and warm times. For the first time since I was a little kid, I’m terribly looking forward to this season of fun and festivities. 

A day

Research is horribly repetitive, and when it's not, you hit brick wall after brick wall so you spend time doing more repetitive work in order to scale those walls. That is, unless you hit an epiphany ( " oh hey ! I could just devise a machine and fly over those walls ! " ) but most of the time you'll either be digging under, or climbing brick by painful brick all the way to the top and then vertigo hits. But I digress. 

I'm here because of today's sleep-inducing mind boggling reading. 

For example, the grand canonical free energy is :  

and seeing that the mean number of free particles satisfies : 

(3

the fractional occupation being : 

and the characteristic scale of pressure is : 

*Mental brakes screeching* Excuse me, but what LANGUAGE is this ?? Google translate doesn't seem to be able to help. Aide-moi, mon dieu  !! 

genius language credit  

Spine

So the 'old' year faded out and the new year dropped in and decided to stay for some time, so I guess it's that time again for people to start scrambling around for resolutions and wondrous sounding, positive looking promises they make to the person in the mirror.

This year I'm not going to grow a backbone. No. I'm going to use mine because today my life begins, thank you very much.

*flying kisses mwah !

In the blink of an eye

It's the eve of the eve of New Year's eve. If I could clip off the wings of time to slow it down, I might not know what to do with all that excess time on my hands so mayhaps I should really leave things as they are and strive for a better year ahead. 

Lots have happened in the past year, sometimes it's hard to believe it's only been a year, because sometimes it feels as if a whole decade has passed, the way I feel. 

Some time back someone told me that he wished he could be 23 again. 23 again. I guess I really am at the cusp of adulthood. Maybe I really can reach out, stretch a little and aim for the stars. Most of all, I need to stop planning, and start living. 

I hope you all find your new year resolutions and keep to them this coming year. I'm not sure how many people still read this, so this account's for myself. One day in 2012, I might stumble upon this post, and draw some strength from the positive energy I feel today. 

More coming, but here's a future toast to the future ! To brighter things , to a better year ! 

It's me who is my enemy, 

Me who beat me up, 

Me who makes the monsters, 

Me who strips my confidence

- Paula Cole 

*clinks glass

The junk of the past

It's ridiculous how some people can gossip about other people behind their backs, effectively defaming someone's character and then a couple of months later you see them all buddied up and chummy together. It does give one the chills looking at displays such as these. 

Yes, forgiveness is something that religion teaches, but carrying out an act to seek for deliberate forgiveness is a waste of time and just downright ridiculous. 

Congratulations. I'm sure you'll head very far in the corporate world. You've got all it takes. Just don't blame anyone when you find yourself alone and miserable at the top. You reap what you sow.

I no longer want any part of your nonsense. Over, done with, next !

And no, I'm not talking about my personal relationship. There are lots of other things to worry about in life than boy-girl relationships. Just thought the lyrics of this song apt. 

Subtraction

She was 15, and had no idea how to subtract 145 from 2001.

Every time I spend time with these kids, I'm humbled. Humbled by how eager they are to learn, how patient they are with me when I muck up simple questions. Most times I come back in a concoction of small joys, humility, and a little pinch of guilt. 

" WIll you be able to handle subtractions in your next test now ? " 

*bright smile, gleeful nod

Perhaps these are my little rewards. I'm humbled that I have the opportunity to witness the disbelieving joy these children display when they 'get' simple concepts that I've taken so callously in the past. I may have sat her through hundreds of questions on subtraction, but these little experiences taught me how to subtract the negatives in life which in turn subtracts the power that negative thoughts could potentially have on me.

" For I know the plans I have for you." declares the Lord. " Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future " - Jeremiah 29:11

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Solitary

There are some days that I don't really like human company all that much.
It's not the humans that are the problem.
Those are the days when comfort comes in the form of paper, ink, flipping pages, tea and good music. Those are the days like these.



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Hello, old friend

Was in the mood to read something highly intellectual the other day, ( and no, dear journals, I don't mean y-o-u ) I mean really, like Noddy in Toy Land, or Peter Rabbit ... What, are you challenging the intellect of a 5 year old now ?  And of course no relaxation is complete sans the right soundtrack 

Sometimes you stumble on an old long forgotten song, and you smile, the way you do when you unexpectedly meet an old chum and the years seem to melt away as you rekindle the sweet, sweet past.

I'm gonna be somebody, 

One of these days I'm gonna break these chains, 

I'm gonna be somebody someday, 

You can bet your hard earned dollar I will ... 

Yee-haw ! 

Last one

I'm not a give-upper
But today I'm really really tired
of being 'strong'
of labels and expectations
and of feeling lonely in a crowd

Of hypocrites and rainbows

I don't want to make this space of mine a section to rant and grumble, but it's been a tough few weeks and just when I'm about to burst at the seams, I see the faint beginnings of a rainbow. 

Maybe this is a lesson for me to learn. A sort of 'toughening' to go through. And a reminder to be grateful regardless of the circumstances and know that He is God. I'm grateful for angels who'll stand by me and am deeply touched by their relentless support. 

Thank the Lord for gem friends and sisters :) 

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out - Walter Winchell

Are you looking for a room for rent ?

If anything, the past week has taught me an invaluable lesson and it’s definitely one that’ll remain imprinted in my memory for years to come. I’d just terminated my rental contract, and was in the middle of transitioning from one place to the other when lo and behold, disaster struck. The new place is currently under renovation and will not be ready for at least another month. Right now, bunking and having ‘extended sleepovers’ with friends remains the only available option.

Living out of boxes and suitcases really isn’t all that fun so I sit here wishing that I had planned way ahead in advance of my move. Sites like http://www.ibilik.my are awesome for seeking out short term or temporary rooms for rent. The available rooms are categorized according to areas and postcode zones so it’s pretty easy for you to narrow down your selections to a relevant few. Easy site navigation lets you achieve your target in no time at all so your accommodation worries can be settled as soon as possible.

In fact, if you’re planning to go on vacation, you could go on iBilik and seek out potential rooms for rent. There are options for short term rentals in Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia, so you can smooth out the wrinkles in your vacation plans. This is also an awesome site to head to if you’re looking for a room when you’re relocating from one part of the city to another. Both tenants and prospective landlords now have a better way of advertising room vacancies and best of all, you get the flexibility to do all these without having to go to the actual site itself when you’re narrowing down possible options. Believe you  me, the hassle of being stuck in a bottomless pit of desperation due to accommodation mix-ups will definitely dampen your mood and fresh enthusiasm.