Till We Meet Again

What does one do when one's beloved pet is called home?

No words can be great enough to express the feelings of loss and grief.

On the 27th of December 2007, you decided to go back where you came from. You were more of a family member than a pet, more a friend than a guardian, You were fiercely loyal, amusingly funny, amazingly smart and comfortingly close whenever we needed you. We have no doubt that you would have gladly laid down your life to protect any of us at any time.

I shall always regret the fact that I never got to say goodbye. Now, there wouldn't be anyone to fight for the door with me ever again, nor will there be the four legged baby waiting to be tickled. Never will there be another so eager for a tummy rub, nor wlll there be another who pulls off mischief while managing to look innocently adorable at the same time. You were the lion guarding the gates but to me, I'll always always see the puppy no larger than a tiny ball of fur, whose feet could transform into a speed machine to rival that of the latest Ferrari, who, even at that first few tentative moments managed to wriggle a large large place in all our hearts.

I now seek comfort in knowing that all dogs go to heaven. You were deviously handsome but deep down you were that special angel that God sometimes sends along to us mortals and though you're no longer here with us, the memory of your clownish antics will continue to evoke whimsical smiles. and the years of steadfast companionship will keep its dam of memories forever and always.

Till we meet again....
Lots of love.

Apples and hearts

First off, I've been deprived of the privilege of blogging thanks to a mountain of work which I am currently residing under. This is of course the by-product of procrastination and I have no one to blame other than yours truly. Right now my throat feels awful and sore and I'm imbibing gallons of water coz falling sick in hostel sucks big time.

Haha, on a lighter note, I captured this pic while peeling me apple. Heart!

Right now, I really really really neeed a hug. Haha, toodles!

The story of us

If I were to flashback this exact day to exactly a year ago, I would still be single and missing out on one of the greatest blessings in my life.

More than a year ago, we were merely acquaintances in a large world of other acquaintances. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of us together. Our journey began with a crazy lady to whom I owe a bit of thanks in her inadvertant role in the turn of things. In a very cliche manner our friendship budded over the wonders of a blue trimmed MSN chatbox in which I missed out on a lot of sleep. Chatting throughout the day never seemed to be enough and those chats would be transferred to SMSes when either one or both of us were away from the computer.

Through outings which can only be described as awkward and silent, we progressed into friends and later into something more deeper and meaningful. After he went off for his NS stint, I thought to myself, well, there he goes, another friend to have walked through my heart and there I thought our paths would never meet again. Somehow, we kept in touch.

Now, looking back at all those months, I'm left again in this very cliche situation where words are beyond me. Nothing can measure the depth of feelings I have for you and I find myself just wanting to say thank you.

Thank you, you, for being all that you are.
Thank you, you, for 'layaning' my nonsense
Thank you,you, for keeping me company through the night and never once laughing at my fear for supernatural things though I know what you think of those.
Thank you, you, for all the little things you do for me and never realise I notice, that mean so so so much.
Thank you, you, for your long talks on leukemia and other oh so scary diseases that come from a few of my favourite foods ;P
Thank you, you, for loving me

Baby it's been a whirlwind year of exciting discoveries, of laughs and fits of sulking on my part in which you always always cheer me up. You never realise how adorable you are to me especially when you concentrate on something so intently you never realise my little smile as I look on. I remember one night when we had an awful row and in a fit of immaturity I kept saying how much I hated you but you never let go and instead told me you'll never stop loving me. As I look back at all that has happened, and the strength of the foundation that love has built and at how right it feels just hearing your voice or how being near you lights me up, I am amazed how I could have thought once, not too long ago that we would never make it together.

I could list out an infinity of reasons why I love you so much, but they would all boil down to 3 simple words. I love you, because................ I just do.

Happy anniversary baby. Here's to looking forward to many many many many many more wonderful and crazy years together.

Jo

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful

How many times have we stopped counting our blessings? How many times have we forgotten about others and whine about nothing at all. I do admit to having my habitual bouts of 'depression' and getting all hyped up and emotional over nothing.

I admit to being a really weak Christian. In times when my faith is challenged, I break under the pressure of it. But no more. This is a war that Satan is never going to win. Oh, how many times have I allowed satan to invade my thoughts and poison their flow. How many times have I allowed that little voice to whisper 'What if".

Have you ever bargained with God? I remember being young and when grandma was ill, I did a lot of bargaining. I promised to be good, I promised to be obedient, I promised everything that the 10 year old me could come up with. And then I had a series of awful dreams whereby one by one the people around me left. But as the years progressed and after making countless mountains out of mole hills, it dawned on me that we all already have the bargaining chip in our palms. Faith. All God seeks is faith and the path will be clear.

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. It's in conquering all our daily fears. Little victories that bring great impact. It's in waking up every morning and being able to see the sun come up. It's in every easy breath we take while some are suffering even for the next breath. It's in being able to hear the voice of your loved ones. It's in taking those little steps that is the beginning of a victorious journey. A lot of people view trials as punishments, but maybe sometimes it's just a test. God will never give us something we can't handle.

I was surfing and I came upon these verses. God does speak through various ways.

We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed. - 2 Cor 4:9

He gives me new strength. He leads me on paths that are right for the good of His name. -Ps 23:3

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. - Proverbs 3:6

I leave you peace; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don’t let your hearts be troubled or afraid. -John 14: 27

The Lord helps those who have been defeated and takes care of those who are in trouble -Ps 145:14

May they give you as much comfort as they gave me

Daddy's day

I'm sure more than half of the world knows what day it is today, and no, the answer is not Sunday. It's that day when we all thank the special person who usually stays in the background, but without him, a lot of things will be for naught.

This post will be a shoutout to my daddy. For the constant support he gives us. For the times he worried and the times he rejoiced. For the ups and down. For the memories of 'blanket ghosts', 'tunnels and tents' and waking up early in the morning for ladybug hunting. For the things he did and more.

Random memories that coloured my childhood:

• Being very young and throwing a fit begging dad not to go to work in the morning.


• Riding 'horseback' around the house.


• Playdoh afternoons


• Midnight feasts


• Evenings in DR Park


• Waiting for him to come back from being 'outstation' to show him the gap after I lost my first teeth at age six and a half, feeling all grown up.


• Gummy bears and cola worms


• Rojak and Cendol in the evening


• The way he was the only one I allowed to pull out my shaky baby teeth believing he was the only one able to do it painlessly


• Bullying sausages

Here's to you on this special day. Happy Daddy's Day. <3<3

Results ranting

For what it's worth, I got my exam results today. I managed to maintain the 4.0 CGPA. Odd thing is, know what I feel? Nothing. I don't feel anything. No joy, no happiness, no gush of heady euphoria. Just an abyss of nothingness. When people walk by me and say, oh, you're sure going to get your full marks again, all I felt like doing was slapping them and asking them go take a hike. I know this is not a good attitude. Usually people tell me, of course,no surprise, it's expected that you'll get good results. All I do in lieu of a response is grit my teeth, bite back a sarcastic remark and offer a semblance of a smile. I just hate it when people refer to me as 'top student'. Ya, you're allowed to call me weird. But all I wanna be right now is me. I don't want to be the person you run to only when you need help. I don't want to second guess your motives. I want people to be my friends. Just that and nothing else. No strings attached. I don't want fake poeple around me. I don't want people to 'compare' with me. What am I to you anyway? A walking brain? A challenge to boost your ego? If I were to get into some mishap some day, would any of you who claim to be 'friends' even bother?

When I left high school, I was determined to leave all that comparing marks thing behind. Even then, I never bothered to sum up my marks to 'compare' with the next person. Usually it was other people who would go around collecting marks and then writing out their own position charts, even faster than the school computers were able to. I mean, seriously, why are we all acting like braggy housewives who go "You know ar, my son is this this this" and then housewive number 2 goes "Aiya, my son not that good only, 100 marks only ma". Know what all these are? Superficial! I do not like people asking me my marks. I do not take indulgence when people call me 'smart' and go, how I wish I was like you. If you want to be envious, if you want to be petty, then you are not my friend because I do not need parasites like you to affect me emotionally. I've lost 'friends' this way, but all I can do is shrug and go on with life for it is then that you realise how much some people really count.

Have you ever been in a situation where you can't trust anyone around you? It's a very emotionally draining position to be in. Is your neighbour a backstabber? Is your 'friend' planning to make you stumble even as he/she helps you up? What do the people around you really see you as? Is it you they see or some ulterior goal they secretly lust for. The people I trust are less than a handful. But I don't need any more than that. And for that I thank God for sending me some true people. To those who have really been with me through times when I needed real people, not hypocrites, I'm ever grateful for your straightforwardness. I think you know who you are *wink*

Of ice and bruises....in exactly that order...

First off, I'm sorry for always being 'Missing in Action' these days. For those of you kind people who are still sticking around this blog for updates, thank you, and here's one for you. =P

You know how when someone gets bruises, then you put ice on the bruises? Well, me being the clumsy oaf that I am, had to reverse it. Ice first, then bruises. If you haven't figured out yet, I went skating yesterday. Was something impromptu since classes were canceled and we had a big chunk of the whole day off. Our last class ended at 1pm and so we grabbed some lunch and zoomed off to Sunway. The whole journey would have not taken so long if we hadn't had to wait so long for the bus to come. How ironic that the name of that particular bus company is 'Rapid'.

Anyway, we went there in blissful oblivion that it was now the school holidays, so besides having to pay more, we had to share the rink with the holiday crowd. Now, I know close to nothing about skating, I mean, I'm the girl who literally trips over her own feet...skating? Laughable. But then, it's a new year and I've made resolutions to be different and more daring so I thought, heck, I'd give it a shot. I mean how hard could walking on ice be ya?

Oh man, I.was.so.wrong! The moment I stepped into the rink, my feet refused to listen to my brain with wanton abundance. I had to grab on to the side bar and hang on for dear life. Dear me, it's like being in a whole world where friction ceases to exist and you find your feet jelly-ing away ahead of you. The fact that only one friend knew how to skate amongst us didn't help matters at all.

As a conclusion, I traveled halfway across the state, paid pretty good money and spent so much time playing the waiting game just to find out that my legs could be the most stubborn things, fall down, make a mighty fool of myself and whine like a baby after it all. As expected, new skaters would fall down, but then me being me, I couldn't get up after that. And as if falling down not so tenderly on my derriere wasn't bad enough, my friends, being beginners themselves couldn't help me up and I was struggling and falling again and again, consequently, I had to have a 10 year old boy help me up and then telling me in this very adult voice "Next time kneel first!" To add to all that mortification, after I managed to drag myself up, a little girl of about 6 years old tapped me and said "Jie jie, nah" and offered me her hand. Oh Gawd, I so wanted to clobber myself, I just smiled at her, declined, said thank you and prayed fervently to God that I wouldn't fall again.

At the end of the day, I can't say I left empty-handed, I got to take back some interesting souvenirs. I've always said I wanted a tattoo so I guess God decided to grant me my wish since I now have pretty colourful bruises in various places so i can forget about wearing skirts and shorts for the time being. Hah, be careful what you wish for. Something tells me my right arm is going to be rendered useless pretty soon and it hurts to sit without a soft cushion right now.

All in all, given the opportunity, I would do it all again. I'm determined to at least learn how to skate. The next time I go, I'm gonna go with someone who knows how to skate. Then at least I wouldn't have only the side-bar as a consoling friend.

There are more updates coming soon, but I think that's all for now. I need to go lick my wounds. Or salve them. Whichever suits you best. Toodles!

Late Night Ramblings

Reading other people's blogs makes me dawn upon this realization that 'perfect' doesn't exist. If you think your life is far from perfect and your neighbour's life is everything you want it to be, then I suggest you pull the reins on that thought and take a closer look. We always wish we had what others we deem 'lucky' have. A commoner envies the fame and recognition of those who bask in the spotlight and adoration of others while those who never seem to escape the glare of fame envy the common man's indulgent privacy.

The transition from girlhood to teenagehood has been an eye-opener for me. The eternal pessimist would live by the philosophy that if one has low expectations than one would also have low chances of dissapointments. This blogger happens to be a cynic masquerading as an optimist so I shall say that if one has no goals, then how can one better oneself? Of one has no dreams, then how can one achieve dreams come true? I have dreams. Lots of them. But in time, I stopped believing in them. That's what that phase so loosely termed growing up does to you. Somewhere along the line, you just stop believing.

I'm a month shy from being nineteen. Young, in some eyes. Maybe I'm not as 'wise' or world-weary as I seem to think myself to be. Maybe I shouldn't have spent so much time in the company of jaded people. Have you ever had that tendency to just run away sometimes? Just let go and run. Run and run and never stop. Never look back. But then that's not what we can do in life. We have responsibilities to fulfill, those invisible bonds with steely unrelenting vices that bind us and ground us even in our rebellion.

There's really no such thing as the perfect life. There's the perfect moment, the perfect second, maybe even stretch it to the perfect day, but there's no such thing as the perfect life. MAybe that's why we all crave for a piece of heaven now and then.

A little story

I was bored and inanimate one day, when Bunny came up with a story to fill in the gaping mouth of silence. I've decided to post this story up to share, and to immortalize it in my memory bank. So, here goes

There was once a little boy named Roger. One day he was walking in the forest and he got lost. He walked deeper and deeper. He was tired so he looked for a place to rest. He found a tree and climbed up onto one of the branches. He soon fell asleep. When he woke up, he found himself in a tent, surrounded by little people with pointy ears and funny looking faces.

He asked where is he and asked how to get out. The little weird guy with the pointy ears introducd himself as Kino, and he is now in the Minikin village, he told him they are called Minikins, he told Roger they found him on the tree and it is dangerous coz the Evilflies will catch him if they find him. Roger laughed. He said there are no such things and asked the Minikins how to get out, the Minikins asked him not to leave but he said, nothing can scare me, Evilflies? Never heard of them. The Minikins can do nothing but direct him out. Once outside, Roger was feeling strange, he realized everything was different, no trees but big tall bushes. He walked and walked and then he felt the ground shaking. Suddenly a group of giant ants with black like creatures with wings riding on them was marching towards him, he thought, giant ants? It can’t be, but he was so afraid, he ran.

Then the black creature on the ants spotted him and said to his friends, catch that creature. Roger ran faster and faster but the ants were just too fast. Suddenly Kino the Minikin appear from the ground and called Roger, here boy, Roger ran into the hole in the ground and hid. Roger asked Kino what are those and Kino said the black creature with wings are the Evilflies, they have wings but can’t fly, They are evil and they forced the ants to be their slaves. Kino told Roger that the Evilflies and the Minikins have been enemies for centuries.

At the Minikin village, he learnt how to work with others and made many new friends. Roger told Kino that he didn’t have any friends before he came here. Kino asked why and Roger said it’z coz he was selfish, all he thought about was himself. Roger continued and said that if he really gets back to his world, he will change. Kino smiled ans said good for him.

The night was drawing near. Kino said that the Evilflies are most aggressive at night and will try to destroy the Minikins village. The Minikins were busy setting everything to be prepared if the Miniflies were to attack. That night the Evilflies really did attack and the Minikins were all captured. Including Roger.

Roger was not a Minikin so he was brought to the Evilflies King. He asked Roger what is his origin. Roger told him but the King had never heard of such a thing before. Roger asked why do the Evilflies want to conquer everything? The King answered coz they do it for fun. The King was angry that Roger questioned him and Roger was sent back to the cell with the rest of the slaves.

At the cell not only the slave ants were there but others like the beetles and other creatures were there too. Roger and the Minikins talked to the other creatures and together devised a plan to free everyone. The next morning when the Evilflies came and open the cell to force them into slavery, they rushed out. All the creatures worked together to defeat the Evilflies. Soon they won. Even they Fireflies King was captured. All the creatures were happy and shouted kill the Evilflies. Then Roger and the Minikin persuaded the creatures not to do so but release them in harmony. The King was touched and promised never again to do evil anymore. The Evilflies were released and they never again bully the others but lived in harmony together. Roger was happy but he missed home. One night while Roger was looking up at the stars, he slept. He woke up realizing that he was back on the tree he once was on. It was only a dream. Suddenlly there was a bright light, a voice saying, “Son, you have grown up, never again be selfish but love and care for others” The light went away. Roger knew it was God. Suddenly he saw light and heard his parents’ voice. Back at school, Roger changed and made many good friends. The end.

After all that hardcore criminology, mythology, detective, murder books I've been diligently devouring, this story was so cute I couldn't help smiling. Zooms me back to those days when things were so much simpler. Might not be Pulitzer Prize material to some of you, but then it was one of the best light story I've ever read simply because the gesture itself spoke volumes.... By the way, the entire bulk of the story was sent through SMS. Imagine that. So sweet can? =P

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray

Image taken from www.digitalplayboy.co.uk

Today’s a very special day dedicated to……the bane of sleeping late into the day, the superhero who tramples your fears and turns them into putty, the queen of that little kingdom called home, and the star of this day….mummy!

I planned to write a long, lengthy post in accordance with this very special day, but then I find myself at a lost for words. No great post can depict your love and your sacrifices. I admit, I haven’t exactly been the greatest daughter on earth and I have done things to cause you pain, either consciously or inadvertently.

My mother, zany, cool, and I quote, “Forever 21” is the bright spark of my life. My fashion critique who also moonlights as my fashion consultant and fellow shoe lover, who fed me bits of fashion sense together with my daily vitamins. Not many girls would trust their mothers to advice them on fashion but my mother, coupled with my very capable brother, make a perfect team.

At most times, you are my trusty but ‘blur’ partner in crime, insomnia chat partner, who more often than not dozes of midway, my video serial watching comrade, life strategist, fellow impulsive shopper, and the jolly contributor to the delicious murder of my waistline.

No words would be enough to write about your influence in my life, no post will be lengthy enough to picture your sacrifices so here’s a little gesture of mine to show my appreciation to you on this special day. Mother’s Day can be everyday but for once I shall do as everyone else does. This post, is dedicated specially to you.

4 words to describe you – One of a kind
3 words I would like to say to you – I love you
2 words to describe your love – Unchanging forever
One word to describe the bestest person to light up my day..Mummy

Happy Mother’s Day

An Update!

Ah yes, it's the return of the prodigal blogger. For those of you who are entertaining notions that this erratic blogger has somehow dropped off the face of the earth, here's a little update just to keep this blog respirating. :P It's almost a month since the last time I actually blogged anything. Haha, I haven't exactly been busy doing anything substantial and it's now the second week of my sem break. Phew, I'll be starting my second year in less than 3 weeks time. How fast time flies !

I've been up to a few things these past few days. I baked a simple butter cake, slept till the afternoon sun ‘baked’ me up, played a convincing housewifey role of sitting in front of the tv ruining my eyes and retarding my brains with Canto, Korean and English serials, and the crème de la crème of indulgences..…… stuffed myself silly with good ole hometown food while watching my imaginary diet sprout wings and take off for Neverland. Thank God my recent orthodontic trip put a minute stop to this gastronomical indulgences and my choices of food are now limited to mushy soft dishes which are pretty nasty to the tastebuds but friendly to the waistline.

On to another topic, was having lunch with Daddy Mummy Chia, and Baby Chia in some coffeeshop which was supposed to have the best chicken rice and curry noodles yesterday when the baby at the table next to ours started wailing at the top of her tiny voicebox. Now, babies are adorable little creatures when all they do is giggle and scamper about angelically but the moment they start wailing…whoa! Gone is the innocent little angel and in place comes this little red faced banshee with Napolean’s iron-willed determination to get whatever his or her pretty little mind wants. They thrash their legs about in the air and cling pathetically to the first available surface and refuse to budge, all so they can ‘punish’ mummy and daddy for not fulfilling their wants. Anyway, while watching the above-mentioned feisty kid, I was wondering whether I was ever that obnoxious as a kid myself. Wonder what my parents did… Are all kids born that way? Haha

I’ve been ogling at pretty candies on the net. I have a soft spot for candies and packaging. I’m more drawn to the colours and shapes than the taste itself. I’m famed for getting lotsa candies of different flavours and then depositing the whole lot of them onto other people. For those of you who are interested, you might wanna check this out.

With that, I'm gonna nurse my sugar deprived soul with some chocs. Au revoir!

Aimless wants

I had a pretty busy day today. By busy I mean a day full of classes, ending with a whopping maths test. And to top it all off, my hands were shaking throughout the friggin test. Well, nerves did play a part in it since I suddenly forgot simply things, but then the majority of the shakiness came from inadequate food. Haha, but then again, that would be my fault too. I do hope I did okay in it.

Anyway, I’ve been telling people that I want a puppy. Well it’s true. This blogger yearns for a silly, clumsy, goofy ball of fluff to pamper, spoil and cuddle. I miss having a puppy at home. Not that I don’t have any affection for my rojak-ed Alsation at home, (to soothe his ego we always refer to him as a German Shepard but in truth I doubt he is one, he has a really feminine face) But nonetheless, the clown looks ferocious on the outside but he really is a goon to the family. And a bribe-able sport too.

On to another topic. These days my arms are so tanned that if you compare them to erm…other parts of me, I look as if I’ve had an arm transplant and someone else’s arms had been sewn to my sockets. Yikes! For the life of me I have not an iota of an idea how I got so tanned. It’s not as if I’ve been spending my days soaking up the sun in the Bahamas or some other Caribbean dream island. Truth is I’ve been hiding under the umbrella as if my very life depends on the shade. Haha

Alright, my inane-o-meter says I’ve reached the maximum mark so I’m gonna log off now. Tata!

Baptism

It's Easter today ! Normally easter brings to mind images of fluffy bunnies, and colourful easter eggs. To those who don't really know the meaning of Easter, it's just a holiday. But to Christians, Easter is a day which brings hope and salvation. More than 2000 years ago, Jesus was crucified on the cross for us. It was His blood that washed away our sins and given a chance at eternal life.

This Easter, I was finally baptised. It's a joyful event, one that brought me peace of mind. Baptism means to be born again. A new person. The death of the old soul and the birth of a new, cleansed one. It's a symbolic meaning of having lived with Christ, died with Christ, buried with Christ and then to arise again.

Anyway, this is just a short blog entry to shout out to the world about my baptism. Finally.

And with that,
Adieu !

Insomnia laden revelation

It’s way past my bedtime right now but I’ve just had an awesome time with Josh and right now a plethora of things are running through my mind. It was an enlightening heart to heart talk between two siblings over cheese, crackers, choc chip cookies and tepid tea. A late night snack couldn’t have been any better. We chatted over a vast variety of subjects. Things I never thought my baby brother would know about. From religion to insecurity complexes to gals and guys.

I realized I miss those late night chats we used to have. I miss sharing a secret joke with him. Just the both of us. I miss watching inane cartoons, lying on our tummies on the bed, coming back from school and doing homework together and then catching an afternoon nap before rushing off to tuition. From tranquil lazy mornings to senseless squabbles over who gets to hog the mirror, who spends more time in the toilet and who has to finish the last piece of chicken, I miss that sibling-blood-bonding thing we so flagrantly took for granted.

My brother would make an absolutely superb boyfriend/partner/husband. I’ve always known that but it was even more obvious tonight when he opened up to me. A great listener, a rational mind, a sweet heart. For someone his age, he exhibits a maturity that would make any sister proud. I might be viewed as a little biased saying this but he has an inexplicable way about him, an innate charm which just draws people to him. It’s an honour being your sis. And lil bro, don’t fret, if any girl is daft enough not to realize the hidden gem you are, then they’re not worth your time. To quote yourself, there are many other fishes in the ocean.

P/s: This goes to someone. I miss you. I want to see you so much that I literally cringe internally at the very thought. The desire and longing to have you there on that day sometimes get too much to bear but yet I shall not ask you, for asking was never my nature. Asking breaks the spell. I hate the way this is affecting me. I vowed to myself never to be the clingy, clawy, whiney kinda girl and everytime I think of how this is transforming me into the latter, I feel like punching myself in the head. I'm so frustrated keeping this all in I just have to let it out. I'm such a prized nincompoop.

On that note, I’d better be off.

I really can't think of an apt title....

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. - Hitch, the movie

This is a special shout-out to a special someone who manages to reduce me to a bubbly mass of happiness and sets my heart fluttering and executing a gleeful dance every time I see you.

It’s been swell having you as bestest friend, confidante, emotional punching bag and a shoulder to lean on. Both literally and figuratively you’ve been a relentlessly avid supporter in all I’ve done. It still amazes me how sometimes when I’m in a room packed with people the only one who catches my attention and whom I manage to focus on is you, as a sea of faces blur in my peripheral and…..it still sizzles whenever your fingers find mine.

Although at times I accuse you of not fully understanding me, deep down there’s this niggling feeling that maybe you know more about me than I do myself.

You’ve suffered the torture of late nights keeping me company just because I get inexplicable bouts of insomnia, see me making a fool of myself bawling my eyes out and not make a fuss and at most times you bring out the irrepressible, annoying kid in me and actually manage to tolerate an overload of immaturity. It’s been 9 months of giggles, long chats at night, watching time fly and I’m still crazy over you.

Happy 9th dear bunny !

Tagged

Haha, I've been lost for a while now and I'm back to do a duty, albeit a tinge relunctantly and write this out. Well, at least I have something to blog about so no complaints there. So, here's 10 Things About Me You Probably didn't Know.

1. I used to want to be a firefighter way back when I still thought fire was cool and wanted to play heroine. Now compare that to the girl who now hardly cooks because she's afraid of flames.
2. I'm hopeless with things involving my motor skills. i.e : driving, operating complex machines, sports.
3. I hate crying in front of people. Truth is I hate crying. Period. For example I hardly shed a tear throughout Titanic. Maybe my heart's as unyielding and cold as the iceberg that sank the ship. *shrugs*
4. I can't stand it when people raise their voices. At me or at anyone else. It just unnerves me.
5. I have a very very very soft spot for teddy bears. Don't ask me why for I have not a clue.
6. I was given the chance to actually complete school one whole year earlier but never took the offer up. Good thing I didn't or life would have been so different. I might not have twined with the threads that colour my tapestry.
7. I'm pretty obsessed with the colour black. White too. Gets on my nerve when people tell me it brings bad luck. It's just a colour. Never fails to amaze me that while the world's in the throes of great modernisation people go about believing in this. I won't condemn them as long as they keep their noses out of my business.
8. I can have a razor sharp tongue when anger blinds me and all I see is red.
9. I used to be a bit of a feminist.
10. I used to have a rather serious thing going for Josh Groban's........voice. *insert dreamy expression here*

And that, wraps it up for this post. I shall not tag anyone specifically but those who would like to do this, I'm all eager to find out those 10 things about you. Toodles !

Nothingness

How fast time flies. My break is over. Alright, I shall not go into that area. Or that shall occupy an entirely new post. The Chinese New Year past by in a breeze. Thankfully. Maybe it's just some perverse nature in me but a part of me kinda detests festivals. They're just so draining and time consuming.

Anyway, for lack of something better to blog about, my head is now filled with visions of cute cute babies. My roomie has been filling me with stories of her very adorable nephew. All those cutesy stories are making me drool for babies to PLAY with. Ah yes, let me clarify. Other people's babies to play with. Weirdly, I have no desire to have babies of my own in the near future. I plan to enjoy at least another decade before embracing any maternal instincts. That is, if I have any :P

I'm currently wishing that at least someone in the family would get hitched soon and get babies :P Okay, this has been a dumb rambling post. A by-product of that thing called boredom.

Love and be loved

Love is like a mustard seed;planted by God and watered by men- Muda Saint Michael

Today’s the day again. When pink and red heart shaped thingamajigs adorn various shop-fronts, overgrown teddy bears sit contentedly inside shop windows, covered in frilly, lacey strewn bits of God alone knows what. Flowers of every species and colour seem to bloom out of nowhere, their prices blooming up together with them. What’s all the fuss about? Two words. Valentine’s Day.

There are many versions of the story surrounding the birth of this very lovey-dovey day, but they all have the same theme. Celebrating Love. These days Valentine’s day has been so commercialized that we forget the reason it exists in the first place. It’s not a day limited to boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife relationships. It’s a day where people get together and celebrate love. Love for a friend, a brother, a sister, parents. A day where we humbly appreciate everyone in our life for being little parts that make you whole.

I have heard of people who get terribly, unbelievably down at the thought of Valentine’s Day simply because he or she doesn’t have a date when everyone else seems to receiving a truckload of flowers, gifts and chocolates. No offence, but isn’t that rather silly? Isn’t that egoistic? To want the whole world to know that you’re ‘loved’ just on ONE day? Isn’t that too showy? I mean seriously, if you get a whole bunch of flowers in the office, what the heck are you gonna do with it the rest of the day? Leave it on your desk to wilt? Stuff it in your water container?

Besides that, what’s the big deal if you don’t have a date for Valentine’s? It’s a day to commemorate love, is love merely limited to romantic relationships? What about family? Can’t you love your friends and those around you? Why the big hue and cry if you have to spend Valentine’s ‘alone’?

Love is not something to be exploited. Love is when a mother puts her life before her child’s. Love is when a dog defends its master regardless of its own safety. It’s when feelings defy the principle of maths and logic. It’s when one plus one becomes one, not two. Hearts beating in tandem. Love is not measured by how overstuffed the teddy bear is, or how big the bouquet of flowers are, or how many digits are on the tag of expensive trinkets. In truth, love is measured by how much you care. It’s sown in faith, watered in joy, and pruned with trust. It’s not cordoned off to how grand and showy one day can be, but by how much the other 364 days matter in the equation. Valentine’s can be everyday if you know how to value what it’s all about. Similarly, it can be just any other day if it’s callously ‘celebrated’.

Innocence

Innocence. One word. Bliss. There are times when you just wish fervently that you could go back. Go back to the times when innocence was something taken for granted. When you could look at the skies and wish upon stars, really believing that your wishes could really come through. Times when the only ghosts that exists are those in your closet, not those in your mind. The shattering of innocence, the surfacing of reality.

Time transcends all things. That swing in the park that used to make you think you could reach up and touch the sky evolves into a plank of wood held up by chains. Grown-ups don’t seem so gargantuan anymore. Pain is promoted to an emotional level. Your mind begins to point out things that your eyes refuse to acknowledge. A seed of doubt blossoms into a tree that takes root deep down in your heart. And then you start wishing. Wishing that you could turn back time. Wishing that you could limit your thoughts to nothing beyond ice-cream and cakes. Wishing that sometimes, fairy-tales were more than fiction. Wishing that happy endings do exist. Wishing that time doesn't change things.

But in it all, you shake at the thought of mortality. You wish you could outrun time, but ever persistent, it catches up with you, in the form of Age. Ask someone, what would you like to do before you die? Answers would probably range from watching the sun rise in the smile of a loved one, climb Mount Everest, go sky-diving, meet up with long lost friends, walk my little girl down the aisle, knowing she’ll be cared for. Different people, caught in different phases in life.

3 words

I am back