Saturday, April 07, 2007

Insomnia laden revelation

It’s way past my bedtime right now but I’ve just had an awesome time with Josh and right now a plethora of things are running through my mind. It was an enlightening heart to heart talk between two siblings over cheese, crackers, choc chip cookies and tepid tea. A late night snack couldn’t have been any better. We chatted over a vast variety of subjects. Things I never thought my baby brother would know about. From religion to insecurity complexes to gals and guys.

I realized I miss those late night chats we used to have. I miss sharing a secret joke with him. Just the both of us. I miss watching inane cartoons, lying on our tummies on the bed, coming back from school and doing homework together and then catching an afternoon nap before rushing off to tuition. From tranquil lazy mornings to senseless squabbles over who gets to hog the mirror, who spends more time in the toilet and who has to finish the last piece of chicken, I miss that sibling-blood-bonding thing we so flagrantly took for granted.

My brother would make an absolutely superb boyfriend/partner/husband. I’ve always known that but it was even more obvious tonight when he opened up to me. A great listener, a rational mind, a sweet heart. For someone his age, he exhibits a maturity that would make any sister proud. I might be viewed as a little biased saying this but he has an inexplicable way about him, an innate charm which just draws people to him. It’s an honour being your sis. And lil bro, don’t fret, if any girl is daft enough not to realize the hidden gem you are, then they’re not worth your time. To quote yourself, there are many other fishes in the ocean.

P/s: This goes to someone. I miss you. I want to see you so much that I literally cringe internally at the very thought. The desire and longing to have you there on that day sometimes get too much to bear but yet I shall not ask you, for asking was never my nature. Asking breaks the spell. I hate the way this is affecting me. I vowed to myself never to be the clingy, clawy, whiney kinda girl and everytime I think of how this is transforming me into the latter, I feel like punching myself in the head. I'm so frustrated keeping this all in I just have to let it out. I'm such a prized nincompoop.

On that note, I’d better be off.

No comments: