Parent-sitting in the city

Today's smile-inducer : They say role reversal comes at a certain point. Bringing the parents around KL in MY mode of transportation i.e KTM Komuter was educational for them, head-shaking, tongue-biting, funny-in-a-cute-way experience for me ... :P

So we went to KL today on a day's trip. I wanted to get more books, mum had a meet-up with a friend, and dad had a business discussion. Being typically Asian, and kiam-siap I suggested that we commute by KTM instead of taking a taxi and paying cut-throat prices.

Digressing, I've fallen in love with the Fab Four all over again. By that I mean the one and only timeless classic that is The Beatles!!! Was doing some reorganizing and stumbled upon my collection of their songs dating back from those hazy, lazy after-school afternoons where Hey Jude would play along with my headaches with algebra and Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Band provided many a muse for essays ... Ooh, I remember Ms Diyana asking us to write an essay titled My Dream Guy for our first essay in Form 4 ... oh, if only I could dig up those long lost adolescent wants and dreams ...

Will be travelling again tomorrow, this time just to hang out with mum and some of her friends. Having taken 3 hour train rides on an almost weekly basis for the past 4 years, the thought of another train ride makes me shudder ... :( At least I'll have some time to catch up with my reading... currently oscillating between visits to war-torn Afghanistan through the haunting words of Anne Seierstad's The Bookseller of Kabul and the lucky lives we take for granted here in Malaysia. If anything, at least we don't have bombs dropping on our roofs ...

Anyhow, here's Lilly Scott from American Idol singing Fixing a Hole. I ADORE the tone of her voice! At last some original talent !

Equality you say?

When you think of babies born everyday to grow up with only fragments and memories of missing family members, it just breaks your heart does it not?

Hi all,

I know I should be blogging about the festivities surrounding the recent Chinese New Year, trust me, mine was both happening and tiring. Unfortunately, amidst all the joy and revelry, recent news about the caning of women just makes you stop and wonder.

As a respecter of the law, I have no choice but to just bite my tongue at the presumed sternness of punishments imposed. The question I have though, is what happened to the men?

Valentine's is Coming

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Hi all,

With head bowed low I guiltily apologize for the absence the past few weeks. Since stepping through the doorway to home, I've been having a jolly good time reacquainting myself with old flames, and a few new ones.

Anyway, here's part of what's been occupying my time the past two weeks...

It's the start of another year in the Chinese calender and as such I thought it only appropriate if I let it be known that I've decided to start another blog in addition to this one. I've christened it Wordy Candy. Like the name suggests, this one's gonna be all about books, things to do with books, words and print. I'll provide further details as refurbishments to this new slice of cyberspace gets done. I'll be doing more in depth 'reviews' of the books in my other blog some time in the near future.

Ooh last but certainly not least ....

Happy Chinese New Year to all of you!

P.s : Is it only me but does anyone else out there think that CNY songs are nothing but gongs, cymbals, horrid off key singing, lyrics too centred on wealth and a bunch of NOISE ?!

Saying Goodbye

Today's Smile-Inducer : Being fitter than I thought I was...dragging 2 bags about as heavy as I am down the road, catching a taxi alone and donkey-ing the bags on the LRT was no mean feat! Oh, how I wanted to sit by the roadside, bags by my side ala vagabond and play the whole damsel in distress thing ...

After clearing, packing and dismantling shelves for 2 consecutive days, late night celebrations, 2 birthday celebrations and hours of backbreaking, I find myself sitting in the middle of jam packed KL central, calmly sipping overpriced coffee whilst everyone around me bustles about doing something. It hits me then, I've ended my tenure here in KL.

Leaving my room this morning was harder than I thought it would be. Locking the door for the last time, the realization hit me that I wouldn't be coming through them ever again. No more "Urgh, I hate this room! Why is it so HOT here?". Never again can I complain about my monkey ancestors paying me visits (not that I'm complaining about that..).

Sitting across a bunch of working adults earlier during lunch made me miss my classmates so much. I'm getting a serious case of the Peter Pan syndrome. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really don't think I'm ready to face the dragon, tigers and the wild unknown. I'm just a little girl lost in a world which has suddenly grown bigger, meaner and way more foreign :(

On a brighter note, I'll be reunited with my storybooks soon. I'm anxious to return to the world where imagination pulls up the best surprises and I'm able to reject reality when it gets too hard to bear and come back to comfort, to family, to life.

How to Shake Off a Stalker 101

Lesson #1 :

Understand what the hunter seeks and THEN do the exact opposite ! Here's a real life example : Hunters who go after wild meat will never settle for docile feed. Tame your wild tendencies and take up knitting, or housekeeping. If it works, the hunter will lose his interest and the prey escapes ...

Rule Numero Uno : Just stay way way away. Safest bet in the treacherous wild ...

Sorry I'm being so vague today. But wish me lots of luck on this ..thing of mine, life-threatening or not let's just hope for the best. Few more months Jo...*deep breaths

Today's Smile-Inducer : I dreamed a dream of you last night. In a few hours I collected the laughter we shared in all those years. I miss you, I hope you're happy wherever you may be.

Boom boom pow !

Picture from delicatedetriments.blogspot.com

It IS possible to feel one's head about to explode. Mine's simmering with irrelevant facts on ceramics and polymers and manufacturing systems and bathtub curves and what-if-i-go-blank and i-can-no-no-i-can't-oh-shaddup-jo-concentrate! thoughts ..

Wading through the ton load of formulas in my cluttered, confused brain, I stumble upon this revelation : Seriously, if I could pass on one sliver of advice to future generations...would it even involve what I'm torturing my overworked cells here with?

Tomorrow at 1400 hours would see me slouching over a sheaf of papers, pen poised for attack, and *hopefully* lashing out answers in frenzied relief because the alternative just bears no thought ... :( 24 more hours to stuff info. Do you think stuffing cottonballs into my ears would keep them info intact? ....

My friends, who probably wouldn't be reading this because they, unlike yours truly would be able to concentrate on more pressing matters, I shall not wish you good luck... Ling Sim said yesterday that luck is only for stupid people so here's wishing you ALL THE BEST!

Ah, a word of advice from an author I HAVE got to read :

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

Belle de jour

Today's Smile-Inducer : I have a problem with relaxation. I indulge in it too much ....

Walked along my bookshelves the other day looking for something light to take the edge off mugging for exams. Dancing my fingertips along the spines of books, I rested on this one. Honestly, it was the cover that drew my attention. Bought this some time back after reading about the author.

My initial aim was to look for something light and easy on the braincells. This book surprised me by being really witty, down to earth and entertainingly X rated. Splendid for cleansing the palate in between mouthfuls of Reconstructive vs Displacive Polymorphic Transformations, Queuing Theories and Reliability Engineering. Nothing like sexy, smart, sharp observations to take away the acrid aftertaste of last minute lamp burning ...

I shall lay off her descriptive sexploits and leave you rather with this ... :

Stop being a workaholic. On the rehab coolness stake : workaholic is somewhere between glue-sniffer and habitual tissue-eater. Alcoholism is so much more you. - Belle de Jour

In a sentimental mood

Today's Smile-inducer : looking back and realizing the silver lining was there all this while...

So it was the last day of school on Thursday. I'd been planning to write a short post about it,but what caught me offguard was how difficult it was to sum up into mere paragraphs the past 4 years of my life. I find myself plucking at words,weighing the

m,cringing and tossing them out in search of the next best fit.

How does one succinctly put into words the complicated mix and meld of emotions,the whole process of growing up and of self discovery? How does one successfully capture the memories adorning the walls of familiar corridors and immortalize them into black and white scribbles?

I know there's still UK but whilst we're still on this page, here's a shout out to the people who have made college life a lot less dreary. In no particular order...

Kim, for the bedtime stories,conspiratorial whispers in lectures and a shared predilection for juicy...fruit :p. Its been fun trying to forcefeed you jazz :p

Such a blur one...too bad it's the only one with all of em in.. since I rarely lug a cam around :(

KS, for the 'early mornings' and late night ramblings. It's been nice having a fellow insomniac who doesn't hesitate to share gadget talk with a female and who laughs not at my tendency to read weird stuff (at least not to my face :p). Thanks for being a friend in need.

DX, for your head-knocking advice and funny jokes. And for constantly reminding blur ole me of replacement classes and telling me straight out if my hair looks uncombed (ouch! It's fashion! *cough cough*)

Wen Qi... yes you. Technically only got to know you after you left for greener pastures and colder climates :p but it's been fab keeping in touch despite the time zone. Appreciate the fact that I can depend on you when the itch to talk about photography and other cool stuff strikes...

Yeo,my sweet grandpa *hides*. How could I have done it without all the 'pressure' from your previous accomplishments? Kidding..don't kill me just yet. Thanks for being there to stomach my crap.

Dino the bro, for being my dinner delivery boy and my bestest mate on campus :) I've loved hanging out with you in the horrible canteen and gossiping over keropok lekors and crappy taufufa. Oh, the days when older sisters were still considered 'cool' :p

When I first got in, I counted the days before I could get out. Ironically, now that the last step finally looms up, I find myself craving the security of classrooms, close friends and markerpens on whiteboards.

How does one wave goodbye without at least a heavy heart and not so dry eyes?

Vacuum

Note to self : Wake up Jo. It's not a bed of roses out there. Sometimes I wonder why I ever gave a damn. Is subterfuge all there is to life? Do tell me things get better after this.

My last, your first

Today's smile inducer : Happy taxi drivers ! You know you're lucky when the moment you hop into a taxi the driver greets you with a cheery 'Good Morning! Where to?' and there's great music playing in the background. The man was positively oozing good cheer, and an orchestral version of Connie Francis's hits was on repeat..feet tapping! Seriously guys, smile ! It IS infectious..

It's the start of the last week of college for me. At the other end of the spectrum, today marks the first day of the new school year for all primary and secondary school students out there.

It's funny how things work out. Having traversed a long, winding road wrought with fear and stress, joy and fun, weighed down by decisions and flying with the heady weightlessness of accomplishments and amassed accolades, I stand close to the end of this leg of my journey and break one of my new year resolutions. I look back.

Plasticine, the smell of baby powder, and the scrape of chalk on board. The feel of newly sharpened pencils, the very grown-up sense of possession - MY bag, MY books, MY school. All the little fragments that make up whole memories.

Today, hundreds of 7 year olds step into the study mobile and start their own journey. As you buckle the shiny new pair of white school shoes, as you familiarize yourself with the comforting weight of schoolbags, and zip up your brand new uniform, I know beneath all that shine and polish, there's the steady buzz of anticipation, of new terrains yet to be explored and unchartered grounds to leave your footprints on. I know no 7 year old would read this but here's a wish from someone 14 years your senior...

A little friendly advice before you head off...you'll find many on this path but when you do..

Catch a falling star

and put it in your pocket

save it for a rainy day

In with the new

The last time I left a trace of me here it was still 2009. Oh, don't you hate the sneaky way time grows wings and takes flight without so much as a backward glance?

It's that time again, of new beginnings, new chapters and new adventures. It's the first post of the year, so let's keep things cheery shall we? Here's wishing this year would prove to be better than the last and not as good as the next one will be.

Alas for me, it's time I blew off the dust collected in the corners of my mind, oil the gears of thought, and bring out the artillery before engaging in a battle of wits with my much neglected lecture notes. Will probably resort to coaxing and cajoling pretty blobs of information to stay in the comfortable recesses of my brain...at least till it's time to purge them out again..

Yes people, it's the period where I'm supposed to show my teachers how much attention I've been paying all semester. Wish me luck!

Till insanity strikes again,

Jo

Lost

I have eavesdropped with impunity into the lives of people who do not exist. I have peeped shamelessly into hearts and bathroom closets. I have leant over shoulders to follow the movements of quills as they write love letters, wills and confessions. I have watched as lovers love, murderers murderand children play their make believe. I have spied on the misdeeds of the mighty and witnessed the nobility of the meek. I have bent so low over sleepers in their beds that they might have felt my breath on their faces. I have seen their dreams. - The Thirteenth Tale, Diane Setterfield.

The excerpt above epitomizes so beautifully the power of imagination when coupled with the sword of words..I'm currently lost in this book. Beautifully gothic, eloquently phrased imageries, with vivid armies of character woven in the mix...how not to get lost?

Been listening to a lot of Coltrane and the Jacques Loussier Trio these days. Jazz music like these often send me walking on air with my head stuck right up there in fluffy clouds.

Hi there dear all,
First off, a big apology 4 seemingly dropping off the blogosphere lately. Things have just been pure madness, but then again, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without that little lacing of insanity.

I do hope it isn't too late to wish y'all a Merry X'mas. Here's 2 overflowing Christmas stockings, sticky Christmas puddings and creamy eggnogs. May your halls be filled with merry rings of laughter, accompanied by the scents of good cheer floating amidst the cacophony of unwrapping gifts....

Xoxo
Jo

Feliz Navidad

Today’s Smile Inducer : Good company, good food, great laughs, memorable weekends. The past few days were a dream. Alas, like all dreams, one has to wake up. Not without cherish-able memories though :)

Christmas trees so tall you have to tilt your head way up. Wonder, joy and lightheartedness reflected in shiny red, gold and silver balls. The air echoes of Christmas carols and Christmas cheer so tangible you feel it slowly chipping at the ice in your heart and warming you right down to your little toe. There’s a mutual sharing of holiday joy ringing in the air, only to be punctuated by a joyful child’s giggle and the quick pitter patter of last minute Christmas shoppers. Oh, and there is this lingering scent of pine trees, chocolate, whipped cream and cookies nipping teasingly at your senses.

Christmas has definitely got to be my favourite time of the year. Can you believe it’s hardly a week more to Christmas?

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful – Norman Vincent Peale

Just Friends

Picture from : theenglishmuse.blogspot.com

Spend life with who makes you happy. Not who you have to impress - Anon

Let's talk relationships tonight. Always a sticky line, more taboo than most care to admit, let's venture into the wild and risky shall we?

There is this thing about Asian cultures, especially amongst the conventionally traditionally conservative pack (phew, lots of adjectives there), that a girl and a boy can never be just friends. The thing that I don't get about these people is why be so hypocritical? Why read so much into nothing? Why draw your own conclusions, be the director of your own self-indulgent fantasy and hurt the people around you whilst you carry on in your own stupidity?

Gossiping, spreading false 'truths', passing on vindictive lies, boys behaving like girls. What are we in? Pre-school again? No, scratch that, I think even 5 year olds have better powers of deduction that some grown adults.

Maybe it's just me. I'm basically a really open person when it comes to stuff like this. I have made a couple of really good guy friends over the years. Nothing romantic just good, solid, friendship. I actually think that guys, despite some having the innate ability to be total jerks in relationships really have the potential to be really sweet when they do put their minds to it. It is here that I remind myself not to let the minority cloud my thoughts on the majority :)

It may be to my own sorry case that I can't keep my opinions to myself. I just hope that people will stop being so judgmental. So, boy-girl,in platonic relationships ... fact or fiction? Truth or myth? I don't know. You tell me.

p.s : I would really like to thank all you guys who have left me such sweet comments in the previous post. I value them very much. It's the holiday season. I should really stop being so angsty. From this post on, cheerful cheerful :) Promise!

Use somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see,

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

-Use Somebody, Kings of Leon

The phrase ‘use and throw’ used to be only limited to disposable items, eating utensils, toiletries, diapers, well, you get the picture. I must have been sleeping in an entirely foreign land and missed the moment the phrase applied to ‘friends’ too.

When I build friendships, I lay the founding bricks in small, hesitant pieces. But when I finally trust, I tend to go all in, full throttle, all or nothing. That is probably the reason why I’m always finding myself the victim of crash and burns, hit and runs.

At times I feel like confronting these tormentors of mine. “Hey! I know what you’re up to”. Truth is, I think I lack not the courage for confrontation but rather the strength to search alone again. I’m naïve enough to lay all my trust repeatedly in the person who takes it, that fragile little globe of feeling and crush it. And as I lay in the middle of the glittering splinters of my hopes and dreams, I see despair, desperation and knowledge that this would have happened through tear-blind eyes.

I’m tired of second-guessing intentions. I’m tired of trying to pry through the masks that people don. I need to know that when I lean in and whisper a secret, you’ll keep it in your heart, just like I would yours. I need to know that when I fall, you’d laugh with me, not at me. I need to know that when I reach out, blind in the dark, you’d be my eyes, ears and heart. I need to be stupid, but right for once.

Call me silly if you want to, I’m adamant to live my fantasy. That fantasy where people really, truly care for the person that I am, not what I can do for them. Rude awakenings will only harden my resolve. I’m stubborn enough to want to look at the glass as half full. Maybe it’s to my detriment that I prefer to find friends for keeps, not keep friends for use. Right now, I really could use somebody...

Just me

The crowd swelled around me , swirling and swishing in a kaleidoscope of colours, forms, emotions, thoughts. Swallowing me whole, I welcomed its cloak of anonymity. Lovers brushed past, two bodies stuck in a single soul, oblivious to the surroundings. There were tourists, cameras at the ready to put into tangible form what the mind would always remember. Little children zoomed past my ankles, dervishes in a blur of colourful dresses and quick feet.

It is at times like these that the anonymity of being in a crowd seduces me. In this sea of strangers, there exists no expectations, only a rare sort of acceptance. For in that one instant, I can cease being the diligent student, the girlfriend, the dutiful daughter, the listening ears and supporting shoulders. For one indulgent, selfish moment, I get to be me.

If you haven't really tried anything .. how can you say nothing works?

Candle in the Wind

Picture from : http://www.oliverwillis.com/2009/04/03/mommy-comes-home/

Today's Smile Inducer : Being alive. We so often whine about the injustices life doles out on us. Looking back, sweetness would never have been as enticing if it had not been preceded by a tinge of bitterness. For that, I am ever grateful.

We were cruising along the highway when we were forced to slow down by a sudden crawl in traffic. Through my headphones, Michael Buble sang of home whilst I let out a silent curse at the lateness of the hour,the emptiness of my stomach. Anxious and impatient to get home, I looked out the window, having a good mind to bestow upon the cause of this jam a cold, angry glare. It was then that I saw them.

Two policemen, one wrecked motorcycle, one bodybag. There were no flashing lights, no hurried commotion, only the shattering silence that often accompanies the roaring unreality of tragedies. It was hard to believe that on this dark, lonely stretch in the middle of nowhere, someone had just drawn his or her last breath.

Somewhere out there, a parent, a child, brothers, sisters, or even a pet would soon feel the splintering pain of loss. There are no right words, or thoughts when life is snuffed out so suddenly. In that one moment of clarity, I found myself thanking God for second chances and life in its entity. It's sad really, that it takes a lifeless form to jerk one back to life.

I reached home to find dinner already set and ready. No longer ravenous, only one thought crossed my mind as I absently registered flavour, textures, layers :

I made it home safe, someone out there never did.

Flattered, Honoured, Speechless

Today's Smile-Inducer : So urm, I got an award! Now, I’ve been hearing about people getting Best Blog Awards but never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would someday get one...There are no words to describe how honoured I feel that Kathy a.k.a Mamarazzi of SmallKucing thinks I’m worthy of this award. Thank you so much ! Oh boy, now there’s the pressure to live up to it … haha

Oh, and the rules are :

1] Post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.

[2] Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have recently discovered and think are great!

So here’s my list of the blogs that I visit, browse and finally leave feeling awed, inspired, and happy. In no definite order...

1. Fiona – one of the best girls I’ve had the privilege to know. We go way back
2. Owl Order – his photography staggers me most times.
3. Suituapui – I go there for my daily drools and visual meals.
4. Caring is not only sharing - Love reading about the various escapades around Ipoh town, the food and the travels
5. Mally – we went to the same kindy, primary and high school. Rode in the same bus for 5 years but NEVER talked. Till I found out about her blog recently. J She grew up to be really gorgeous! Both in and out.
6. Eza – a lovely girl, die-hard romantic. Reading her blog leaves me feeling oozy, cozy.
7. Juney June – another classmate recently discovered through the wonder that is the internet. Loved catching up on old times
8. Cleffairy – tells it as it is. Lovely writing
9. Jared – The Awesomesauce Times. Need I say more?
10. Yi Wei – really insightful observations, thoughts and reflections. Reading her humbles me.
11. Guo Zheng – very deep, very intellectual, very intelligent reflections on daily happenings
12. Eyeris – I constantly pop by for reviews on books, movies and music. Yum!
13. Gabriel – A whole ton of interesting stuff. Very devout too
14. Joash – Spins really heartwarming tales. Future doctor no less !
15. J2kfm – introduces lovely places to eat in good ole Ipoh .. and everywhere else too

They leave me weak at the knees, in a good way. It’s just too sad that 15 is such a wee number..blogs not listed are by no means lacking greatness. This greedy girl devours anything written with unrestrained glee. =)

Cheers,

Jo