Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Of Maturity and upbringing

If growing up is the process of creating ideas and dreams about what life should be, then maturity is letting go again.- Mary Beth Danielson

Maturity. If only it was a tangible thing. To what do we measure maturity ? Is it the coming of age? Or the going of ignorance? Is there even a yardstick for it to be compared against?

Certain things have got me thinking. haha, by now, I think you should surmise that everytime I say "certain things have got me thinking" , it means I'm about to contradict myself greatly, boggle your minds, and well, get myself thinking again..

Anyways, mum was telling me about this girl whose boyfriend's mother is well, posessive. By that, I mean he's what we call 'mummy's boy'. Well, if there's something I can't stomach, it's gotta be that. I don't know why, but seriously, enough of all that baby-ing already. Every mum has to let go some time, so let go already. Come on, boys/guys/males need to learn how to be independant. They need to explore, they need their own space so that they'll learn how to live. Without mama.

Besides, how young is young? And how old is old? Is there even a line between childhood and adulthood? Do we even realise when we cross that line? Sometimes I really wonder. How old must one be before he/she can be involved in a relationship? 20? 30? 15? Who are we to tell someone whether or not they're ready? I've personally known people in real life who want to lay down age limits for when their kids should start seeing somebody. I mean, in all fairness, if those age limits are reasonable, then it's alright. But sometimes, people lay down super-out-of-this-world stuff. I mean, we can't exactly take out a planner and mark down .....

1. Study
2. Grow up
3. Get career
4. Promotion
5. Fall in love
6. Get married
7. Kids

Well, heck. Some things in life can't be planned. They just....happen. In my opinion, as long as both parties are mature enough to handle their own problems and be able to bear responsibilities, then who are we to tell them yes or no? To each his own. But then again, who am I to say? Aren't I the cynic who so readily scoffed at the mention of the word 'love' ? Aren't I the one who believes that 'happily ever after' only exists in fairy tales ? Aren't I the one who is spoiling for a debate when someone tells me that 'forever' exists? Have I 'mellowed' or am I just seeing a different perspective this time around...

Every little girl dreams of a nice, big, fairy-tale wedding. Do I ? Well, no. Honestly. I think extravangant weddings are exactly that. Extravagant parading of something not believable. Weddings should be a private affair. After all, isn't it a bonding of two individuals who wish to be one? Why then should a million other people be involved? Not to mention a million bucks along with it. Isn't it a tad no,more than a tad sinful to splurge and indulge in something ethereal and not guaranteed when there are so many others out there who are more in need of the money? It's called charity for a cause. Not some gala attended by a hundred thousand influential people where checks are passed around with all the pomp and panache of rarity. True charity is when a little boy donates $5 of his pocket money to help a baby with a hole in the heart. True charity doesn't need spotlights and publicity to shine. Same goes to 'love'. True love doesn't need gardens of flowers and yards of silk and lace, and free-flowing champagne and a twenty feet cake, to shine. It's something we can't see. Because you can't create true love, you can't coerce it, it's inside you. It can't be seen, it must be felt. I think it's near impossible to find love that is reciprocated. Maybe that's because I'm a realist. Maybe because I'm a coward. Maybe because I don't want to be dissappointed, so I bury myself in untruths. Maybe I turn cynical because I want to convince myself I'm right, and shut out all doubts. Maybe I don't want to hope. I don't want to fall. I don't want to bleed. Then again, they say, if you've never tasted bitterness, then you'll never know what sweetness is....sigh, I hate contradictions.

Who are we, mere outsiders to judge others? I hate to be judged and therefore, I try my damndest not to judge. I think judging somebody else based on what others say or what pictures others paints just reflects on your own ineptitude and stupidity. Substantial proof of someone's character will in time make itself apparent. Why speed up the natural process and start making wrong assumptions? To assume is to make and A-S-S out of U and M-E. So let's not be donkeys and stick as humans instead.

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