Well, I'm back. After a seemingly long absence. Not that I think anyone has missed my crapping here. Anyway, the holidays have breezed past and the second semester kicked off to a start last week. The first week has been somewhat........eventful.
Boy, the holidays have certainly made me somewhat addled, if I may say so. I'm getting pretty rusty. Especially in writing. Formally. Yesterday, we were asked to write an essay for English, it was a free-topic essay, nothing less than 350 words. ( Great, just the kind I 'love' ) Anyway, in a state of extreme rustiness and creakiness, I took a painful 20 minutes to think of something to write about. After eliminating topics like My Brother, My House, My family, My Dog, My Cat and the likes, I finally settled on something I titled ' Dancing with Danger '. It took me almost an hour and a half just to complete the darn essay. To think of how we had to finish essays in 45 minutes last time, times that seem like eons ago now.
First class of English passed by uneventfully. As usual, we were asked to introduce ourselves and tell little bits about ourselves. When it came to my turn, I ran out of things to talk about after stating how many siblings I have. So the lecturer, after taking extreme pity with my seeming plight asked me..."So, tell us, what's so special about Ipoh?" To which my befuddled brain only managed to choke up " It's urm....urm....urm..quiet !...ya quiet ! " *nods head in the affirmative* And then there was this little voice in my head that went " Well, great going gal, so is Timbuktu. " When the lecturer asked me whether that's all I have to say, I sank gratefully down back in my seat. Ah well, that just goes to prove I don't think that well on my feet when part of my mind's still stuck somewhere else.
Yesterday, we boarded the wrong bus from college to get to the LRT station. The mortifying thing of all was the driver was snickering at us. Openly !. From my seat I could see his bushy moustache twitching. Gosh, to think that we wasted a precious 20 minutes and 60 cents just to go for a joy ride round the area. It was pretty humiliating to step down again from the bus at the same spot where we were picked up.
Well, if the last week was a glimpse and a mere prelude to what we can expect from the next sem, I think we're heading on an interesting ride. I guess that's all I can think about for the moment, forgive me but I've squeezed out every last drop of 'inspiration juice' while attempting yesterday's essay. For now, toodles!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Life
In the blink of an eye, a week of the holidays have drifted by. Some days were spent being 'productive'..others...were left to laze and glide by. I was doing some random surfing today and came across this. 'Chat with God'.. really inspirational and insightful if I may say so. Do read through it. It helped answer some questions I had. It might just help you too.
God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your! fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God : Pain is inevit! able, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!
God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your! fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God : Pain is inevit! able, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Grace and Glory
God says, " I have carried you since you were born: I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I wil be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will tkae care of you. I made you will take care of you" - taken from Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren
It’s Sunday today and I think it’s apt that I dedicate a post to He who made it all possible. I’ve been putting this song on repeat the whole morning. ‘Worthy is The Lamb’. These past three months have taught me a lot on life’s lessons. Tomorrow marks the last day of m first semester in college. And it is with a slight nostalgic feeling that I leave this place. This room where I’ve been spending three months of my life in. But don’t hear me wrong, I’m glad as can be to be leaving for the semester break. A whole blissful month back home.
Yesterday, I had the severest attack of gastric ever. And to top it off, I sprained my right shoulder and neck pretty badly. It came to a point where I couldn’t even turn my head. Combing my hair and tying it up was no mean feat. But, in it all, I learnt a lesson. I’ve been mulling things over the whole morning. I’ve decided to be more carefree. Come to think of it, I’m only eighteen. Far too young to be cynical and jaded like I used to be. With age comes responsibility they say. And I guess I’m responsible to live life to the fullest.
God gave me life. And I owe it to Him to make the fullest out of it. It is comforting to know that God’s always there. It is indeed a joy to know God. A feeling I can’t exactly put into words. God has been there for me through the darkest moments. Through those times when I needed comfort most. Know God, and regret not. God is the one who’ll accept us for who we are. Because he made us that way. I’ve spent a great deal of my life living up to expectations. It gets tiring at times. And through the despair of disappointments, I sometimes get that glimmer of hope that things will turn out for the better. I’ve been through times when I thought no one would understand. Times when I’ve felt so alone. But I was wrong. God was there for me always. I was wrong to try to live up to seemingly impossible expectations, to seek to be perfect when God made me unique in my own special way. To fear when there was no need to fear. God made everyone unique. What we see as flaws may be what God sees as special. Sometimes, we don’t need to conform to what people will think of us. I remember this quote I once read. If I’m not mistaken, it was by Roald Dahl. Be who you are, for those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind. This may not be in verbatim for I can’t remember the exact words.
I have a lecturer here who goes around saying “ Jesus loves you” “God bless you Sister/Brother” “Jesus is only knocking on the door of your heart, hoping you’d open the door for him”. I think that’s what I’ll remember him for. He wouldn’t be teaching us anymore after this semester but I think in a way, I’ll miss his quirky self.
I’ll leave this post with the lyrics for the song ‘Worthy is the Lamb’ for it reflects a thousand times what I want to say.
Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace
Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I knowYour forgiveness and embrace
Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victoriousHigh and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
It’s Sunday today and I think it’s apt that I dedicate a post to He who made it all possible. I’ve been putting this song on repeat the whole morning. ‘Worthy is The Lamb’. These past three months have taught me a lot on life’s lessons. Tomorrow marks the last day of m first semester in college. And it is with a slight nostalgic feeling that I leave this place. This room where I’ve been spending three months of my life in. But don’t hear me wrong, I’m glad as can be to be leaving for the semester break. A whole blissful month back home.
Yesterday, I had the severest attack of gastric ever. And to top it off, I sprained my right shoulder and neck pretty badly. It came to a point where I couldn’t even turn my head. Combing my hair and tying it up was no mean feat. But, in it all, I learnt a lesson. I’ve been mulling things over the whole morning. I’ve decided to be more carefree. Come to think of it, I’m only eighteen. Far too young to be cynical and jaded like I used to be. With age comes responsibility they say. And I guess I’m responsible to live life to the fullest.
God gave me life. And I owe it to Him to make the fullest out of it. It is comforting to know that God’s always there. It is indeed a joy to know God. A feeling I can’t exactly put into words. God has been there for me through the darkest moments. Through those times when I needed comfort most. Know God, and regret not. God is the one who’ll accept us for who we are. Because he made us that way. I’ve spent a great deal of my life living up to expectations. It gets tiring at times. And through the despair of disappointments, I sometimes get that glimmer of hope that things will turn out for the better. I’ve been through times when I thought no one would understand. Times when I’ve felt so alone. But I was wrong. God was there for me always. I was wrong to try to live up to seemingly impossible expectations, to seek to be perfect when God made me unique in my own special way. To fear when there was no need to fear. God made everyone unique. What we see as flaws may be what God sees as special. Sometimes, we don’t need to conform to what people will think of us. I remember this quote I once read. If I’m not mistaken, it was by Roald Dahl. Be who you are, for those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind. This may not be in verbatim for I can’t remember the exact words.
I have a lecturer here who goes around saying “ Jesus loves you” “God bless you Sister/Brother” “Jesus is only knocking on the door of your heart, hoping you’d open the door for him”. I think that’s what I’ll remember him for. He wouldn’t be teaching us anymore after this semester but I think in a way, I’ll miss his quirky self.
I’ll leave this post with the lyrics for the song ‘Worthy is the Lamb’ for it reflects a thousand times what I want to say.
Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace
Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I knowYour forgiveness and embrace
Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victoriousHigh and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
Thursday, September 14, 2006
It's good
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. -- Anonymous
It's good to.....
- have a nice, fluffy soft bed to lie on after a hard day
- have a steaming cuppa soup on a cool rainy day
- have a shoulder to lean on
- rest, relax and watch the world whirl by
- curl up with a good book and a cup of tea
- idle chat about nothing and everything under the sun
- laugh and cry and surrender to that very thing that makes us human - emotions
- dress up and paint the town red
- know God exists
- take a leisure evening stroll on a cool, breezy day
- have someone to babble on and on and on to on a sucky day
- watch the sun go off to bed
- listen to the waves sing their endless medley
- know that days pass and waiting won't be in vain
- indulge
Sunday, September 10, 2006
It all begins
Six billion people in the world, six billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is ONE – One Tree Hill
The first semester started off in bright and springy May and it’s now coming to a slow albeit inevitable end in the cool month of September. How fast time flies. I remember the day when we first enrolled, how we needed a map to navigate around. How everything looked so new and fresh and exciting. Unexplored terrains, limitless knowledge just waiting to be acquired. I remember stepping into college with stars in my eyes, all happy to have ‘graduated’ from high school and now taking the next big step.
Anyway, today the first exam of the first final semester exam of the first semester of the first year of college finally commenced. It’s a bit surreal how things have progressed. Sometimes I look back and relive these past few months and it seems as if I’m reading life from a storybook. A never ending storybook
College examinations are pretty stiff. We aren’t allowed near the examination venues till a certain time. And to top it off, they blow a whistle. Yup, like a piercing, silence-slashing, screeching, nerve-wrecking shrill whistle. I have no idea why, but I was so tensed up by then that I almost wanted to laugh hysterically when the whistle blew seemingly out of nowhere. The test progressed pretty well after that. Hopefully.
Someone has been feeding me stories which has gotten me all sappy and soft and moist-eyed on a Saturday night...
A pair of teenagers were traveling over 100 mph
Girl : You’re going too fast
Guy: No, this is fun !
Girl: No, it’s scary. Stop it
Guy: Only if you say you love me
Girl: Fine, I love you.
Guy: And give me a BIG hug
*Girl hugs him
Guy: Now take my helmet and put it on yourself. It’s bugging me
(next day in the papers)
A motorbike crashes into a building because of the brakes failing
Why did I post this, you may wonder, but there’s another part to this story.
Only one person died in the crash. The girl survived since she was wearing the helmet. Truth is, the guy realized earlier on that his brakes were not functioning so he devised this so that he could hear her say “I love you” and have her hug him one last time. He made her take his helmet so that she’ll survive even though he knew he would not.
Now, isn’t that just touching. Though I wouldn’t want to spoil the emotional quality of it by wondering why the girl wasn’t wearing a helmet in the first place.
With that, I’m going to sign off. Hopefully I’ll survive the exams, then I might just have something thought-provoking to blog about later. Till then, ciao !
The first semester started off in bright and springy May and it’s now coming to a slow albeit inevitable end in the cool month of September. How fast time flies. I remember the day when we first enrolled, how we needed a map to navigate around. How everything looked so new and fresh and exciting. Unexplored terrains, limitless knowledge just waiting to be acquired. I remember stepping into college with stars in my eyes, all happy to have ‘graduated’ from high school and now taking the next big step.
Anyway, today the first exam of the first final semester exam of the first semester of the first year of college finally commenced. It’s a bit surreal how things have progressed. Sometimes I look back and relive these past few months and it seems as if I’m reading life from a storybook. A never ending storybook
College examinations are pretty stiff. We aren’t allowed near the examination venues till a certain time. And to top it off, they blow a whistle. Yup, like a piercing, silence-slashing, screeching, nerve-wrecking shrill whistle. I have no idea why, but I was so tensed up by then that I almost wanted to laugh hysterically when the whistle blew seemingly out of nowhere. The test progressed pretty well after that. Hopefully.
Someone has been feeding me stories which has gotten me all sappy and soft and moist-eyed on a Saturday night...
A pair of teenagers were traveling over 100 mph
Girl : You’re going too fast
Guy: No, this is fun !
Girl: No, it’s scary. Stop it
Guy: Only if you say you love me
Girl: Fine, I love you.
Guy: And give me a BIG hug
*Girl hugs him
Guy: Now take my helmet and put it on yourself. It’s bugging me
(next day in the papers)
A motorbike crashes into a building because of the brakes failing
Why did I post this, you may wonder, but there’s another part to this story.
Only one person died in the crash. The girl survived since she was wearing the helmet. Truth is, the guy realized earlier on that his brakes were not functioning so he devised this so that he could hear her say “I love you” and have her hug him one last time. He made her take his helmet so that she’ll survive even though he knew he would not.
Now, isn’t that just touching. Though I wouldn’t want to spoil the emotional quality of it by wondering why the girl wasn’t wearing a helmet in the first place.
With that, I’m going to sign off. Hopefully I’ll survive the exams, then I might just have something thought-provoking to blog about later. Till then, ciao !
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Exams
It's those dreaded times again. The finals are approaching faster and faster with the mercy of a bullet-train. My days have been filled with 'wonderful' activities...Amongst them, wrestling with confusing Math questions, battling Engineering Science, trying to conquer Visual Basic albeit unsuccessfully, and mind-feeding myself with Production Engineering.
It's a slow Sunday today. And there's really nothing much to do if you ignore the high pile of work to be done currently residing pretty comfortably on my desk. The semester is now winding down to its inevitable end. Many things have happened throughout the course of this semester. New friends have been made, dear friends have been missed dearly. New knowledge has been acquired. I've gone through experiences I wouldn't have gone through otherwise. I know the basics of life-saving though I daren't put my skills to the test. My Mandarin's still as crappy as it first was when I came in. I still can't dive.
Being in a course that's generally populated by guys has it's perks and downs. For one, when it comes to the workshop, the guys usually display 'gentlemanly' attributes and help the 'fairer sex' get our work done. That means we don't have to do the hard work. But, we end up doing almost all the cleaning after that. The downside of being amongst the few girls in class is the lecturers pick up your name fast. And you find yourself getting called up during lectures ! Pretty scary. Like yesterday, my friend and I were sitting in the lecture hall, minding our own business when the lecturer suddenly spoke into the mike
" Joanne ( somehow they can't get my name right) and Kimbery (this is worse, they forget that L is part of the pronounciation and she gets called Kim-Be-Ri instead of Kimberly) what are you both doing there? Came in late is it? This questions should be 'wet-wet-water' for you both right? "
* 'wet-wet-water' is a direct translation from the chinese phrase meaning 'piece of cake' which has become a 'trend' to use here.Somehow, I find it really irritating, especially if the lecturer starts using it.
Anyway, for one thing, I hate being in the spotlight and when such a 'public-announcement' is made, all eyes would inevitably turn to us. Secondly, we were not late for the lecture. And to make such an assumption was a bit unfair to us and thoroughly presumptuous of the said lecturer.Well, I digress.
Back to the topic, I haven't blogged properly in ages but I promise I shall try my best to come up with something better than " I don't really have much to blog about", "I really can't think of anything substantial at the moment", "I have nothing to write here but since my blog's been looking pathetic I decided to drop by and get a round of crapping done". "I can't think of anything to write yet my fingers can't stop it's frenzied tip-tapping"...ah, ONE meaning,so many ways to put it.
Being away from home has taught me how to appreciate things. Things I used to take for-granted. I miss fooling around with my brother. I miss his *ahem* sometimes lame jokes, his wise-ass cracks, his insatiable thurst for graphic thingamajigs, his bottomless stomach and his act-coolness. I miss grandpa's steady calmness and the way he used to spoil us silly with snacks. I miss everything about Ipoh. Even the hotter than hot weather.
On an entirely different note, I realised lightning is beautiful in an awesome way. It really is. The way a sudden blaze of electric-blue illuminates the dark sky. And the sharp crack that accompanies it. There was a thunderstorm on Friday evening. We switched off the lights and rested on the bed. I was facing the window and it was spellboundingly magical to just lie down and watch the lightning play across the sky, while claps of thunder punctuated every voltage-packed firework. A majestic orchestra of sounds and light.
It's a slow Sunday today. And there's really nothing much to do if you ignore the high pile of work to be done currently residing pretty comfortably on my desk. The semester is now winding down to its inevitable end. Many things have happened throughout the course of this semester. New friends have been made, dear friends have been missed dearly. New knowledge has been acquired. I've gone through experiences I wouldn't have gone through otherwise. I know the basics of life-saving though I daren't put my skills to the test. My Mandarin's still as crappy as it first was when I came in. I still can't dive.
Being in a course that's generally populated by guys has it's perks and downs. For one, when it comes to the workshop, the guys usually display 'gentlemanly' attributes and help the 'fairer sex' get our work done. That means we don't have to do the hard work. But, we end up doing almost all the cleaning after that. The downside of being amongst the few girls in class is the lecturers pick up your name fast. And you find yourself getting called up during lectures ! Pretty scary. Like yesterday, my friend and I were sitting in the lecture hall, minding our own business when the lecturer suddenly spoke into the mike
" Joanne ( somehow they can't get my name right) and Kimbery (this is worse, they forget that L is part of the pronounciation and she gets called Kim-Be-Ri instead of Kimberly) what are you both doing there? Came in late is it? This questions should be 'wet-wet-water' for you both right? "
* 'wet-wet-water' is a direct translation from the chinese phrase meaning 'piece of cake' which has become a 'trend' to use here.Somehow, I find it really irritating, especially if the lecturer starts using it.
Anyway, for one thing, I hate being in the spotlight and when such a 'public-announcement' is made, all eyes would inevitably turn to us. Secondly, we were not late for the lecture. And to make such an assumption was a bit unfair to us and thoroughly presumptuous of the said lecturer.Well, I digress.
Back to the topic, I haven't blogged properly in ages but I promise I shall try my best to come up with something better than " I don't really have much to blog about", "I really can't think of anything substantial at the moment", "I have nothing to write here but since my blog's been looking pathetic I decided to drop by and get a round of crapping done". "I can't think of anything to write yet my fingers can't stop it's frenzied tip-tapping"...ah, ONE meaning,so many ways to put it.
Being away from home has taught me how to appreciate things. Things I used to take for-granted. I miss fooling around with my brother. I miss his *ahem* sometimes lame jokes, his wise-ass cracks, his insatiable thurst for graphic thingamajigs, his bottomless stomach and his act-coolness. I miss grandpa's steady calmness and the way he used to spoil us silly with snacks. I miss everything about Ipoh. Even the hotter than hot weather.
On an entirely different note, I realised lightning is beautiful in an awesome way. It really is. The way a sudden blaze of electric-blue illuminates the dark sky. And the sharp crack that accompanies it. There was a thunderstorm on Friday evening. We switched off the lights and rested on the bed. I was facing the window and it was spellboundingly magical to just lie down and watch the lightning play across the sky, while claps of thunder punctuated every voltage-packed firework. A majestic orchestra of sounds and light.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Randomness
Wow, it's been a while since I last blogged. Work's been piling up recently. In the blink of an eye, the final semester examinations have finally come knocking on our door. And, I've still got loads to study and I'm still sitting here, blogging when I've honestly got nothing much to blog about. Alright, maybe I do have some thoughts buzzing through my mind but I can't put them into words for now.
A few things about studying here..:
- I've used so much more Cantonese than I ever did the rest of my life.
- I don't remember eating so much Malay food prior to coming here this. I used to be picky and all.well, people sure change.
- Sometimes it hits me that I've been living 'independantly' for almost 3 months now. It's something big for me since I've never left home prior to this. Thank God for a roommate who can be as crazy as me at times. Chatting till the wee hours of the morning about anything and nothing...
- My English seems to be deteriorating as the days pass. To remedy this, Kim and I have started or at least attempted to speak using the most complex words as possible to substitute simpler words whenever we converse, effectively causing eyebrows to raise whenever we launch into our litany of 'thesaurus-obtained' words.
- The sunsets here are simply breathtaking ! Or maybe it's the same everywhere but I only realised them here since I've got so much time on my hands and nothing to do.
- I discovered I'm pretty much afraid of everything. Enough said.
- I've come to the conclusion that Ipoh food rawks. KL food....let's just leave it at that.
I think that's all I can purge out.
Till 'inspiration' strikes next,
Aloha !
A few things about studying here..:
- I've used so much more Cantonese than I ever did the rest of my life.
- I don't remember eating so much Malay food prior to coming here this. I used to be picky and all.well, people sure change.
- Sometimes it hits me that I've been living 'independantly' for almost 3 months now. It's something big for me since I've never left home prior to this. Thank God for a roommate who can be as crazy as me at times. Chatting till the wee hours of the morning about anything and nothing...
- My English seems to be deteriorating as the days pass. To remedy this, Kim and I have started or at least attempted to speak using the most complex words as possible to substitute simpler words whenever we converse, effectively causing eyebrows to raise whenever we launch into our litany of 'thesaurus-obtained' words.
- The sunsets here are simply breathtaking ! Or maybe it's the same everywhere but I only realised them here since I've got so much time on my hands and nothing to do.
- I discovered I'm pretty much afraid of everything. Enough said.
- I've come to the conclusion that Ipoh food rawks. KL food....let's just leave it at that.
I think that's all I can purge out.
Till 'inspiration' strikes next,
Aloha !
Friday, August 04, 2006
Break
They say happiness is self-gained. In many ways I think that's really true. One man's meat may be another's poison. I've been 'philosophy-ing' the past few days. Thinking about life's quirky ways. Sometimes life seems a bit of a game. Sometimes it's a waiting game, sometimes it's thrilling, sometimes you lose some but then again, you gain some. Justice may be a very subjective word. Happiness too for that matter. Anyway, I was taking a short break from the books and decided to do these.....
| Men See You As Choosy |
 |
How Do Men See You?
| You Are A Woman! |
 |
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Random thoughts
Today started pretty horribly. It was bad enough that Kim and I overslept and had to make a mad rush in order to get to class on time, but as if to add some spice and sprinkle some ‘excitement’ into an otherwise dreary Tuesday morning, the lock on our door got conveniently jammed. So there we were, a couple of fools trying to ‘un-jam’ the errant lock. Our efforts, much to our chagrin, ended in vain. We had to ask the security office for their ‘professional’ help. Boy, did I wish I didn’t enlist the help of that surly, burly old man. He glared at us as if it was our fault that the lock got jammed. He then dismantled the whole doorknob and re-fixed it. Then, he forced me to test it 2 times, in a really ‘unfriendly’, stern manner. All the while saying “OK?! OK?! Don’t say it’s jammed again. OK?!” in Malay. Ya, Mr. Locksmith, we woke up this morning and by means of a good morning greeting said to our dear door-lock “ Hey mate, would you do us a favour and go jam yourself?”
5 minutes after he left, I opened the door to go to the washroom. Much to my horror, the door did not budge open at all ! The only thing I held fisted in my palm was the doorknob! Detached from the door. As I stared dumbly and rather stupidly at the knob, I couldn’t suppress the hysterical laughter that bubbled up my throat. When Kim saw what happened, she just said “Shit” and we convulsed into helpless laughter. Having had such a bad experience with the security guy, we endeavoured to ‘repair’ our own door, which basically involved us shoving the whole doorknob back into the doorhole?(whatever it’s called) but not without a lot of prayer before that.
The whole campus is abuzz with the recent news of the fatal attack on one of our fellow collegemates. I was horrified to learn that there was another case which happened barely 5 minutes later after the first one. It’s truly tragic and saddening that such a thing could have happened. And to someone so young. You read about such cases in the newspapers practically on a daily basis but when it happens to someone your age, someone your friends know,someone from your hometown and for the past 5 years studied in the school adjacent to yours, the sense of unreality hits you even as reality itself sinks in.
I was walking back from the canteen after dinner today and I beheld a beautiful sight. A sight that very seriously stole my breath. The sky was splashed a mellow hue of orange, while white, fluffy clouds were tinged in a halo of gold,reflecting flecks of pink. And in that instant, it hit me how utterly lucky I was.To be able to see something so simple yet beautiful. How lucky I was to be alive. How blessed I am to be able to breathe without the aid of beeping machines, to be able to run and laugh and be a part of life in all it has to offer. The ups, the downs, the whole rollercoaster ride life itself is. It hit me that out there, there are kids leaving this world even before they get the chance to savour the banquet life has spread out. That people like Lee Khian Yip will never ever be able to watch the sun set ever again. That how often we take simple things like this for granted when these are the things we need to treasure the most. Family, friends, and simplistic beauty. And in all that, sorrow is an essential part of the opera of life. For without sorrow, how then will we know what true happiness is?
5 minutes after he left, I opened the door to go to the washroom. Much to my horror, the door did not budge open at all ! The only thing I held fisted in my palm was the doorknob! Detached from the door. As I stared dumbly and rather stupidly at the knob, I couldn’t suppress the hysterical laughter that bubbled up my throat. When Kim saw what happened, she just said “Shit” and we convulsed into helpless laughter. Having had such a bad experience with the security guy, we endeavoured to ‘repair’ our own door, which basically involved us shoving the whole doorknob back into the doorhole?(whatever it’s called) but not without a lot of prayer before that.
The whole campus is abuzz with the recent news of the fatal attack on one of our fellow collegemates. I was horrified to learn that there was another case which happened barely 5 minutes later after the first one. It’s truly tragic and saddening that such a thing could have happened. And to someone so young. You read about such cases in the newspapers practically on a daily basis but when it happens to someone your age, someone your friends know,someone from your hometown and for the past 5 years studied in the school adjacent to yours, the sense of unreality hits you even as reality itself sinks in.
I was walking back from the canteen after dinner today and I beheld a beautiful sight. A sight that very seriously stole my breath. The sky was splashed a mellow hue of orange, while white, fluffy clouds were tinged in a halo of gold,reflecting flecks of pink. And in that instant, it hit me how utterly lucky I was.To be able to see something so simple yet beautiful. How lucky I was to be alive. How blessed I am to be able to breathe without the aid of beeping machines, to be able to run and laugh and be a part of life in all it has to offer. The ups, the downs, the whole rollercoaster ride life itself is. It hit me that out there, there are kids leaving this world even before they get the chance to savour the banquet life has spread out. That people like Lee Khian Yip will never ever be able to watch the sun set ever again. That how often we take simple things like this for granted when these are the things we need to treasure the most. Family, friends, and simplistic beauty. And in all that, sorrow is an essential part of the opera of life. For without sorrow, how then will we know what true happiness is?
Random thoughts
Today started pretty horribly. It was bad enough that Kim and I overslept and had to make a mad rush in order to get to class on time, but as if to add some spice and sprinkle some ‘excitement’ into an otherwise dreary Tuesday morning, the lock on our door got conveniently jammed. So there we were, a couple of fools trying to ‘un-jam’ the errant lock. Our efforts, much to our chagrin, ended in vain. We had to ask the security office for their ‘professional’ help. Boy, did I wish I didn’t enlist the help of that surly, burly old man. He glared at us as if it was our fault that the lock got jammed. He then dismantled the whole doorknob and re-fixed it. Then, he forced me to test it 2 times, in a really ‘unfriendly’, stern manner. All the while saying “OK?! OK?! Don’t say it’s jammed again. OK?!” in Malay. Ya, Mr. Locksmith, we woke up this morning and by means of a good morning greeting said to our dear door-lock “ Hey mate, would you do us a favour and go jam yourself?”
5 minutes after he left, I opened the door to go to the washroom. Much to my horror, the door did not budge open at all ! The only thing I held fisted in my palm was the doorknob! Detached from the door. As I stared dumbly and rather stupidly at the knob, I couldn’t suppress the hysterical laughter that bubbled up my throat. When Kim saw what happened, she just said “Shit” and we convulsed into helpless laughter. Having had such a bad experience with the security guy, we endeavoured to ‘repair’ our own door, which basically involved us shoving the whole doorknob back into the doorhole?(whatever it’s called) but not without a lot of prayer before that.
The whole campus is abuzz with the recent news of the fatal attack on one of our fellow collegemates. I was horrified to learn that there was another case which happened barely 5 minutes later after the first one. It’s truly tragic and saddening that such a thing could have happened. And to someone so young. You read about such cases in the newspapers practically on a daily basis but when it happens to someone your age, someone your friends know,someone from your hometown and for the past 5 years studied in the school adjacent to yours, the sense of unreality hits you even as reality itself sinks in.
I was walking back from the canteen after dinner today and I beheld a beautiful sight. A sight that very seriously stole my breath. The sky was splashed a mellow hue of orange, while white, fluffy clouds were tinged in a halo of gold,reflecting flecks of pink. And in that instant, it hit me how utterly lucky I was.To be able to see something so simple yet beautiful. How lucky I was to be alive. How blessed I am to be able to breathe without the aid of beeping machines, to be able to run and laugh and be a part of life in all it has to offer. The ups, the downs, the whole rollercoaster ride life itself is. It hit me that out there, there are kids leaving this world even before they get the chance to savour the banquet life has spread out. That people like Lee Khian Yip will never ever be able to watch the sun set ever again. That how often we take simple things like this for granted when these are the things we need to treasure the most. Family, friends, and simplistic beauty. And in all that, sorrow is an essential part of the opera of life. For without sorrow, how then will we know what true happiness is?
5 minutes after he left, I opened the door to go to the washroom. Much to my horror, the door did not budge open at all ! The only thing I held fisted in my palm was the doorknob! Detached from the door. As I stared dumbly and rather stupidly at the knob, I couldn’t suppress the hysterical laughter that bubbled up my throat. When Kim saw what happened, she just said “Shit” and we convulsed into helpless laughter. Having had such a bad experience with the security guy, we endeavoured to ‘repair’ our own door, which basically involved us shoving the whole doorknob back into the doorhole?(whatever it’s called) but not without a lot of prayer before that.
The whole campus is abuzz with the recent news of the fatal attack on one of our fellow collegemates. I was horrified to learn that there was another case which happened barely 5 minutes later after the first one. It’s truly tragic and saddening that such a thing could have happened. And to someone so young. You read about such cases in the newspapers practically on a daily basis but when it happens to someone your age, someone your friends know,someone from your hometown and for the past 5 years studied in the school adjacent to yours, the sense of unreality hits you even as reality itself sinks in.
I was walking back from the canteen after dinner today and I beheld a beautiful sight. A sight that very seriously stole my breath. The sky was splashed a mellow hue of orange, while white, fluffy clouds were tinged in a halo of gold,reflecting flecks of pink. And in that instant, it hit me how utterly lucky I was.To be able to see something so simple yet beautiful. How lucky I was to be alive. How blessed I am to be able to breathe without the aid of beeping machines, to be able to run and laugh and be a part of life in all it has to offer. The ups, the downs, the whole rollercoaster ride life itself is. It hit me that out there, there are kids leaving this world even before they get the chance to savour the banquet life has spread out. That people like Lee Khian Yip will never ever be able to watch the sun set ever again. That how often we take simple things like this for granted when these are the things we need to treasure the most. Family, friends, and simplistic beauty. And in all that, sorrow is an essential part of the opera of life. For without sorrow, how then will we know what true happiness is?
Sunday, July 30, 2006
The beginning? The end?
I wanted to write something uplifting today. But I'm simply not in the mood to do so. I want to rant and scream and swear and curse and kick and throw something but no, I'm holding on to the last thread of composure as if my very life depended on it. My msn display picture currently reads "I will not give up, I will not give in." And I'm seriously psych-ing myself to do so.
College so far, in all it's naked 'glory', bare truth, and painful honesty, SUCKS! At least for me it does. Maybe the problem lies within me. They say college life is the best time of your life. But I've tried, I've tried really hard to learn to adapt but I can't. It's awful here if you don't speak Mandarin, and your Cantonese is mediocre. And people think you're a snotty b**** because of that. And they tell you " You know, knowing how to speak English alone is not good..." Well, thank you very much, but I'm very well aware of that fact. Why is it that they laugh at you when you're trying to learn but then they tell you it's 'not good' not to be able to speak Chinese. Ya, my Cantonese sucks, my Mandarin is unintelligible. BEAR WITH IT ! I'm trying hard too, you don't see me commenting on your 'excellent' command of English. Sometimes, I don't even know why I bother.
It's been close to 3 months since I left home for college. And by each passing day, I miss my Ipoh friends more and more. What Ms. Pushpa said last time during Eng. Lit. was so true. Friends you make in college will never share the same bond as those friends you had all the way through primary and secondary school. I miss them so much. In a way, I took the times we shared together for granted. But I know now that they share a part of me that no one else will ever be able to replace. People here are little more than acquintances. Passing ships in life. You never know what you have until you lose it. How painfully, achingly true.
Mum told me that when God gives you a test, he'll not give you something you can't handle. I hope I'll be able to overcome all this. The frustration I'm suppresing deep inside is coming very close to the surface. I can't go anywhere alone in this 'pleasant' area because it's way too freaking dangerous.It's hard to find friends here because I don't speak the common language. If only you know how much I miss you. Sigh. I may be just making a mountain out of a mole-hill. I hope so. Is this the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end?
Oddly enough, I feel infinitely better after letting all this out. I think I'll call it a day. With that...I bid you all goodnight.
College so far, in all it's naked 'glory', bare truth, and painful honesty, SUCKS! At least for me it does. Maybe the problem lies within me. They say college life is the best time of your life. But I've tried, I've tried really hard to learn to adapt but I can't. It's awful here if you don't speak Mandarin, and your Cantonese is mediocre. And people think you're a snotty b**** because of that. And they tell you " You know, knowing how to speak English alone is not good..." Well, thank you very much, but I'm very well aware of that fact. Why is it that they laugh at you when you're trying to learn but then they tell you it's 'not good' not to be able to speak Chinese. Ya, my Cantonese sucks, my Mandarin is unintelligible. BEAR WITH IT ! I'm trying hard too, you don't see me commenting on your 'excellent' command of English. Sometimes, I don't even know why I bother.
It's been close to 3 months since I left home for college. And by each passing day, I miss my Ipoh friends more and more. What Ms. Pushpa said last time during Eng. Lit. was so true. Friends you make in college will never share the same bond as those friends you had all the way through primary and secondary school. I miss them so much. In a way, I took the times we shared together for granted. But I know now that they share a part of me that no one else will ever be able to replace. People here are little more than acquintances. Passing ships in life. You never know what you have until you lose it. How painfully, achingly true.
Mum told me that when God gives you a test, he'll not give you something you can't handle. I hope I'll be able to overcome all this. The frustration I'm suppresing deep inside is coming very close to the surface. I can't go anywhere alone in this 'pleasant' area because it's way too freaking dangerous.It's hard to find friends here because I don't speak the common language. If only you know how much I miss you. Sigh. I may be just making a mountain out of a mole-hill. I hope so. Is this the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end?
Oddly enough, I feel infinitely better after letting all this out. I think I'll call it a day. With that...I bid you all goodnight.
Update on life
Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief- Marcus Tullius Cicero
At last, a proper update. First of all, my apologies for the very belated entry. I've been suffering the aftermath of the latest 'tsunami'. She goes by the name " by-product of that vice called Procrastination". I've been plodding through two fantastic weeks laden with exams and assignment datelines, topped with late nights and natural mascara. How utterly refreshing.
I'm back in Ipoh for the weekend. Home never felt so good. By Friday, throughout lab, I was praying time would pass faster and I groaned inwardly everytime my lecturer dragged on with his lenghty, not so interesting lecture. (when are they ever interesting?)
In the blink of an eye, the weekend has passed and it's time to head back to KL. I spent a wonderful afternoon out today. Besides, I met Fiona and caught up on life. It feels so weird that now we're out of school, and don't meet each other every morning anymore. I found out that a lot of my friends have been doing well in Form 6, how times have changed. I find it hard to believe that we're the same girls who used to wreck havoc in class, skip classes and play with leaves and flowers,hide in the toilet to skip assembly, and had so much fun! Now, we're all grown up and going our separate ways but deep in the recesses of my mind a permanent memory has been embossed. My past, present, and future, all interlinked to form an interminable chain.
I don't really want to go back to KL. Not at all actually. Deep down, I'm an Ipoh girl through and through. My roots have been planted here and to uproot me would simply spell disaster. Fiona asked me today whether I miss Ipoh. Yes, I do. I miss my hometown so much,terribly, and badly. I know I'll never be a KL-ian. I'll just adapt but never accept.
I guess that's all I have to say. In other areas, life has been going well for me. haha, go deduce that yourself.
With that, I'm signing off...
Tata and pleasantess dreams.
At last, a proper update. First of all, my apologies for the very belated entry. I've been suffering the aftermath of the latest 'tsunami'. She goes by the name " by-product of that vice called Procrastination". I've been plodding through two fantastic weeks laden with exams and assignment datelines, topped with late nights and natural mascara. How utterly refreshing.
I'm back in Ipoh for the weekend. Home never felt so good. By Friday, throughout lab, I was praying time would pass faster and I groaned inwardly everytime my lecturer dragged on with his lenghty, not so interesting lecture. (when are they ever interesting?)
In the blink of an eye, the weekend has passed and it's time to head back to KL. I spent a wonderful afternoon out today. Besides, I met Fiona and caught up on life. It feels so weird that now we're out of school, and don't meet each other every morning anymore. I found out that a lot of my friends have been doing well in Form 6, how times have changed. I find it hard to believe that we're the same girls who used to wreck havoc in class, skip classes and play with leaves and flowers,hide in the toilet to skip assembly, and had so much fun! Now, we're all grown up and going our separate ways but deep in the recesses of my mind a permanent memory has been embossed. My past, present, and future, all interlinked to form an interminable chain.
I don't really want to go back to KL. Not at all actually. Deep down, I'm an Ipoh girl through and through. My roots have been planted here and to uproot me would simply spell disaster. Fiona asked me today whether I miss Ipoh. Yes, I do. I miss my hometown so much,terribly, and badly. I know I'll never be a KL-ian. I'll just adapt but never accept.
I guess that's all I have to say. In other areas, life has been going well for me. haha, go deduce that yourself.
With that, I'm signing off...
Tata and pleasantess dreams.
Friday, July 28, 2006
When i simply don't have anything better to do
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
| Your Personality Is |
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them! |
| Your Lucky Love Color is Black |
 |
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Of Elephants and Late Nights
College life has been hectic! Maybe it's because I've been allowing my assignments to 'breed'. Anyway, I qualify as a panda right now. Sigh. Been sleeping late almost every night.
I went swimming yesterday. Spent 4 hours in the pool. Have I said I loved the water yet? I do. I love the feel of it, to be ensconced in it's blanket of comfort. Maybe it's the Cancerian in me. But there's just something that attracts me to it. Let's just call that fate. I never thought I'd be afraid to do anything concerned with the water. I was wrong.
We had plunging (diving) practise yesterday. You see, when I started learning swimming ages ago, I chickened out when it came to diving. It's really scary. At least for me. Anyway, I had to force myself to do it yesterday because there will be a lovely test awaiting me next Tuesday. I wouldn't like to think of the consequences if I fail this.
A friend taught me how to dive. Much to my chagrin, everytime I dived, it was like an elephant jumping into the pool. I always land in pancake style, with a loud 'smack' ! Trust me, it's as painful as it sounds. My abs are killing me now. The reason I landed in pancake style according to the experts is because I lack the guts to jump. I hesitate and just as I leave lovely solid ground, I panic and slam ! I become a splendid pancake.
Here's how it goes. You have to bend down close to 180 degrees, extend your arms up and over your ears, bend your knees, and plunge head down. It freaky because when you're in that position, you're looking into let's say close to 2 metres of deep blue water. It's worse if you're on the board. I'll be shaking inside and this guy's asking me to "Jump! Jump! Use your legs like spring and jump, come on, you have nothing to lose...." and smack ! in I slam. Sigh.
Ah well, I guess I can't say much anymore. I need to go practise some time soon. Wish me luck !
yours sincerely,
-Elephant Pancake-
I went swimming yesterday. Spent 4 hours in the pool. Have I said I loved the water yet? I do. I love the feel of it, to be ensconced in it's blanket of comfort. Maybe it's the Cancerian in me. But there's just something that attracts me to it. Let's just call that fate. I never thought I'd be afraid to do anything concerned with the water. I was wrong.
We had plunging (diving) practise yesterday. You see, when I started learning swimming ages ago, I chickened out when it came to diving. It's really scary. At least for me. Anyway, I had to force myself to do it yesterday because there will be a lovely test awaiting me next Tuesday. I wouldn't like to think of the consequences if I fail this.
A friend taught me how to dive. Much to my chagrin, everytime I dived, it was like an elephant jumping into the pool. I always land in pancake style, with a loud 'smack' ! Trust me, it's as painful as it sounds. My abs are killing me now. The reason I landed in pancake style according to the experts is because I lack the guts to jump. I hesitate and just as I leave lovely solid ground, I panic and slam ! I become a splendid pancake.
Here's how it goes. You have to bend down close to 180 degrees, extend your arms up and over your ears, bend your knees, and plunge head down. It freaky because when you're in that position, you're looking into let's say close to 2 metres of deep blue water. It's worse if you're on the board. I'll be shaking inside and this guy's asking me to "Jump! Jump! Use your legs like spring and jump, come on, you have nothing to lose...." and smack ! in I slam. Sigh.
Ah well, I guess I can't say much anymore. I need to go practise some time soon. Wish me luck !
yours sincerely,
-Elephant Pancake-
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
The coming of age
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know.Lewis Carroll
18 years and a day ago, a squalling, pink, pruned-skin baby was brought into this world. Her parents named her Joanna, from the Bible. Anyway, this baby grew up to be a cheeky toddler, showered with love and attention by those around her. She had to be chased round and under the dining table by mummy and daddy because she didn’t want to go to pre-school. Grandpa and grandma spoiled her silly too. With cat-naps in the afternoon and dancing on grandpa’s toes on cool evenings.
She soon started primary school and there she met friends of gems who sprinkled fairy dust in her days and coloured her life. Progressing into secondary school, these friends remained dear and special to her. It was here where she started her journey of self-discovery, exploring depths and reached heights she never touched before.
Now, 18 years and a day later, she celebrated her first birthday away from home. It was truly an experience. Sweet wishes came from even sweeter people even before midnight. Thanks you guys. Miss you so so much. Anyway, that little girl is now of the ‘legal’ age. She can now drink alcohol, buy cigarettes, go for 18 rated movies, and get strangled by mum. Besides, she won’t qualify for juvenile jail anymore. What morbid thoughts.
Anyway, that was a very lame and concise version of my life’s story. My 18th birthday was certainly no fanfare. I went swimming and got ‘tortured’ by the seniors. Well, at least I got a lot of exercise ! So no complaints. Life in college sure ain’t a bed of roses.
Today’s my first day being 18. People asked me how I spent my birthday, so here’s my answer. I spent my birthday with a super hot date. It was vital that I spend more time with the said date because time was of the essence. I wouldn’t say it was a fun date, because knowledge was the theme of it. If I’ve managed to pique your interest into unraveling the identity of this mysterious birthday date, I shall not torture you anymore. This dazzling, not-so-charming, not-very-interesting date is a healthy, well-built, heavy, juicy book who goes by the name…….’Programming in Visual Basic ! ‘ You see, yesterday morning, my lecturer told us we would be given a test next week, which generated a flurry of panicked activity. Books which were previously left untouched were opened and flicked through in a hurry. People were trying to stuff as much information as the human brain can accommodate in the shortest period of time. This morning however, my ‘kind’ lecturer informed us that the test would be postponed. Maybe that’s my belated birthday gift then. ‘Phew’
I’ve got a case of writer’s block right now, so I guess I should sign off before I put you into a junk-induced coma.
Adieu!
18 years and a day ago, a squalling, pink, pruned-skin baby was brought into this world. Her parents named her Joanna, from the Bible. Anyway, this baby grew up to be a cheeky toddler, showered with love and attention by those around her. She had to be chased round and under the dining table by mummy and daddy because she didn’t want to go to pre-school. Grandpa and grandma spoiled her silly too. With cat-naps in the afternoon and dancing on grandpa’s toes on cool evenings.She soon started primary school and there she met friends of gems who sprinkled fairy dust in her days and coloured her life. Progressing into secondary school, these friends remained dear and special to her. It was here where she started her journey of self-discovery, exploring depths and reached heights she never touched before.
Now, 18 years and a day later, she celebrated her first birthday away from home. It was truly an experience. Sweet wishes came from even sweeter people even before midnight. Thanks you guys. Miss you so so much. Anyway, that little girl is now of the ‘legal’ age. She can now drink alcohol, buy cigarettes, go for 18 rated movies, and get strangled by mum. Besides, she won’t qualify for juvenile jail anymore. What morbid thoughts.
Anyway, that was a very lame and concise version of my life’s story. My 18th birthday was certainly no fanfare. I went swimming and got ‘tortured’ by the seniors. Well, at least I got a lot of exercise ! So no complaints. Life in college sure ain’t a bed of roses.
Today’s my first day being 18. People asked me how I spent my birthday, so here’s my answer. I spent my birthday with a super hot date. It was vital that I spend more time with the said date because time was of the essence. I wouldn’t say it was a fun date, because knowledge was the theme of it. If I’ve managed to pique your interest into unraveling the identity of this mysterious birthday date, I shall not torture you anymore. This dazzling, not-so-charming, not-very-interesting date is a healthy, well-built, heavy, juicy book who goes by the name…….’Programming in Visual Basic ! ‘ You see, yesterday morning, my lecturer told us we would be given a test next week, which generated a flurry of panicked activity. Books which were previously left untouched were opened and flicked through in a hurry. People were trying to stuff as much information as the human brain can accommodate in the shortest period of time. This morning however, my ‘kind’ lecturer informed us that the test would be postponed. Maybe that’s my belated birthday gift then. ‘Phew’
I’ve got a case of writer’s block right now, so I guess I should sign off before I put you into a junk-induced coma.
Adieu!
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Random stuff
It's the weekend. It's past midnight. It's been a tumultous week. Lots have happened. Lots have been discovered and explored. College students don't sleep. I mean seriously, these people are like owls or something. My course rep. slept for only 2 hours, but he was more energetic than me in school. Anyway, I got tagged by Aisyah to do this sooo.....here's
8 things about my perfect lover ( well, they say it never hurts to dream =p)
1. Loves me for who I am
Isn’t that what everyone wants? To be accepted and loved for who they are. Not who they represent or what they can do. To be treasured and cared for. Imperfections, quirky attractiveness, flaws and all.
2. Respects and accepts my family and friends
Because they mean something to me. I wouldn’t be who I am if not for them. They make up a big part of my life.
3. Understands me
I’m hard to fathom. I admit that much. Sometimes, I don’t even get myself. So, it’ll be miraculous if someone could actually understand, respect and accept the way I am.
4. Doesn’t pick fights with me
By that I mean that we’ll never ever fight. Ya, I know all couples fight, it’s normal. But you said perfect . I hate to fight with anyone, what more a significant other. I don’t ever want to have shouting contests and chaos in a relationship. Call me unrealistic but I’d like to walk on clouds and to have rainbows painted through the day and starry skies every night when I’m ‘in love’.
5. Open
He’s open minded about things. He isn’t too conservative to the point of being a monk. Isn’t over possessive and domineering. I can’t stand being told what to do and what not to do 24-7. He respects my point of view and at least listens to my crap. ( I’m not saying he has to accept whatever I say)
6. Doesn’t force me to do things I don’t want to
It’ll be suffocating if someone were to force me to do something I don’t want to do. And laugh at me and call me names after that.
7. Has a sense of humour
I like funny people. Or people who can take jokes. Sensitive people are a dead turn-off.
8. Matured
I’m not a very good babysitter. I dropped cartoons years ago though I still have a soft spot for Barney. = P
8 things about my perfect lover ( well, they say it never hurts to dream =p)
1. Loves me for who I am
Isn’t that what everyone wants? To be accepted and loved for who they are. Not who they represent or what they can do. To be treasured and cared for. Imperfections, quirky attractiveness, flaws and all.
2. Respects and accepts my family and friends
Because they mean something to me. I wouldn’t be who I am if not for them. They make up a big part of my life.
3. Understands me
I’m hard to fathom. I admit that much. Sometimes, I don’t even get myself. So, it’ll be miraculous if someone could actually understand, respect and accept the way I am.
4. Doesn’t pick fights with me
By that I mean that we’ll never ever fight. Ya, I know all couples fight, it’s normal. But you said perfect . I hate to fight with anyone, what more a significant other. I don’t ever want to have shouting contests and chaos in a relationship. Call me unrealistic but I’d like to walk on clouds and to have rainbows painted through the day and starry skies every night when I’m ‘in love’.
5. Open
He’s open minded about things. He isn’t too conservative to the point of being a monk. Isn’t over possessive and domineering. I can’t stand being told what to do and what not to do 24-7. He respects my point of view and at least listens to my crap. ( I’m not saying he has to accept whatever I say)
6. Doesn’t force me to do things I don’t want to
It’ll be suffocating if someone were to force me to do something I don’t want to do. And laugh at me and call me names after that.
7. Has a sense of humour
I like funny people. Or people who can take jokes. Sensitive people are a dead turn-off.
8. Matured
I’m not a very good babysitter. I dropped cartoons years ago though I still have a soft spot for Barney. = P
I'm tagging..
NJ
Henry
Jared
Jarod? lol
Monday, June 19, 2006
To a much loved lady
If a person you love is stolen from you, the way to keep that person living is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but true love lives on forever - The Crow
You are special.
You were always there for each and every one of your children, your grandchildren. A constant supporter and strong believer of each and every one of us.
You took every predicament in stride, a brave smile always never far away.
You are hero, mentor, mother, wife, grandmother. You excelled in being all.
You always thought of others before yourself. Putting their needs ahead of yours.
You coloured the lives of those around you and molded them to be better people.
You are gentleness and courage personified. You led each day patiently, making a difference to those you cared for.
You left an impact on the lives of many, an imprint in their souls, a signature on their hearts.
You’ll always be remembered, every gathering, every day. The hearts you touched and the stars and sun you represent in the lives of those who love you.
You found peace at last, away from the turbulent battles life handed out to you. It was a long battle but you emerged the Victor.
Poh poh, I know you’re with the Lord now. You’re a jewel with a heart of gold. A living testimony to everyone, you’ll continue living on in our memories.
You are special.
You were always there for each and every one of your children, your grandchildren. A constant supporter and strong believer of each and every one of us.
You took every predicament in stride, a brave smile always never far away.
You are hero, mentor, mother, wife, grandmother. You excelled in being all.
You always thought of others before yourself. Putting their needs ahead of yours.
You coloured the lives of those around you and molded them to be better people.
You are gentleness and courage personified. You led each day patiently, making a difference to those you cared for.
You left an impact on the lives of many, an imprint in their souls, a signature on their hearts.
You’ll always be remembered, every gathering, every day. The hearts you touched and the stars and sun you represent in the lives of those who love you.
You found peace at last, away from the turbulent battles life handed out to you. It was a long battle but you emerged the Victor.
Poh poh, I know you’re with the Lord now. You’re a jewel with a heart of gold. A living testimony to everyone, you’ll continue living on in our memories.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Wittle Little Bit of Life
I've got wi-fi connection in my room now ! Man, it's good to be back in touch with civilization. First week of college was something akin to hell for me. I couldn't get proper sleep(cos some smart senior decided to 'spice' up my hostel life by very 'helpfully' asking me and my roommate to 'take care' because there were 'visitors' on our floor, if you get my drift) and the food here tasted so bland I thought I would soon die of malnutrition or emaciation.
Anyway, things have smoothened out tremendously compared to that initial stage. The lecturers are loading us with assignments and projects. So, life can get pretty hectic sometimes. Especially when you think you don't have any assignments, decide to sort out your file and suddenly you see this nice, thick juicy stack of tutorial questions that are due tomorrow ! Then it'll be a panic,mad rush to hurry up and finish it. The next day, you'll be nodding off to sleep in the cozy,dimly-lit lecture halls. Then when the lecturer ends the lecture, you'll be thinking.."What did he say?" or, some lecturers are more effective than sleeping pills. No matter how hard you try to pay attention, your mind wanders, I'll be looking at him, telling myself "Pay attention,pay attention,pay attention" and then I'll spot somebody with a cool shirt or a weird hairstyle, and I'll nudge Kim and whisper and giggle.
Anyway, I came back from a CF meeting last night. Kim and I was walking back with a guy from the same hostel and the classroom blocks were rather dark already. I pointedly avoided looking in that direction when I realised the guy was looking at something. They say ignorance is bliss so I decided to let the matter drop and not bring the subject up, but....things didn't work that way. Suddenly the guy said.
" I saw something drop".
Kim and I went.." Really? Erm..do we wanna know what you saw?"
The guy: " It was white"
Me: " Ok...it's a piece of paper. Nothing wan la"
Kim: " Maybe it's just a cat or something"
The guy: " I don't think so la, doesn't look like it"
Me: " Let's just walk faster"
The guy : " It looked like a bird......"
Me: " Ok, it's a bird..*nervous laugh* let's walk faster ya..."
The guy : " But it doesn't look like a bird...I think.."
To which Kim and I just sped up and walked faster.
So there you have it. I'm tired already. It's past 11pm and I've gotta get more shut eye. I hate it when the alarm rings. My alarm clock malfunctioned this morning, and when I looked at my watch, Kim and I panicked and started rushing. Forgot breakfast and all. Sigh. Wish mum was here. She's the alarm clock that never fails.
Nitez.
ps: I miss the idiot box !!!!
Anyway, things have smoothened out tremendously compared to that initial stage. The lecturers are loading us with assignments and projects. So, life can get pretty hectic sometimes. Especially when you think you don't have any assignments, decide to sort out your file and suddenly you see this nice, thick juicy stack of tutorial questions that are due tomorrow ! Then it'll be a panic,mad rush to hurry up and finish it. The next day, you'll be nodding off to sleep in the cozy,dimly-lit lecture halls. Then when the lecturer ends the lecture, you'll be thinking.."What did he say?" or, some lecturers are more effective than sleeping pills. No matter how hard you try to pay attention, your mind wanders, I'll be looking at him, telling myself "Pay attention,pay attention,pay attention" and then I'll spot somebody with a cool shirt or a weird hairstyle, and I'll nudge Kim and whisper and giggle.
Anyway, I came back from a CF meeting last night. Kim and I was walking back with a guy from the same hostel and the classroom blocks were rather dark already. I pointedly avoided looking in that direction when I realised the guy was looking at something. They say ignorance is bliss so I decided to let the matter drop and not bring the subject up, but....things didn't work that way. Suddenly the guy said.
" I saw something drop".
Kim and I went.." Really? Erm..do we wanna know what you saw?"
The guy: " It was white"
Me: " Ok...it's a piece of paper. Nothing wan la"
Kim: " Maybe it's just a cat or something"
The guy: " I don't think so la, doesn't look like it"
Me: " Let's just walk faster"
The guy : " It looked like a bird......"
Me: " Ok, it's a bird..*nervous laugh* let's walk faster ya..."
The guy : " But it doesn't look like a bird...I think.."
To which Kim and I just sped up and walked faster.
So there you have it. I'm tired already. It's past 11pm and I've gotta get more shut eye. I hate it when the alarm rings. My alarm clock malfunctioned this morning, and when I looked at my watch, Kim and I panicked and started rushing. Forgot breakfast and all. Sigh. Wish mum was here. She's the alarm clock that never fails.
Nitez.
ps: I miss the idiot box !!!!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
The end of bliss
In approximately 7 hours, I'll be leaving yet again for KL. Much to my chagrin, time flies way too fast. I came back on Thursday evening, and in what seems like a nanosecond, it's time to leave again. Man, I hate goodbyes. I'll miss home. 'Home', what a nice ring it has now. Truth be told, you'll never know how sweet home is till the day you actually have to leave it.
Actually, I was happily blogging the evening I came home. I must have got on the wrong side of Lady Luck that day because just as I reached the conclusion of my entry, the screen went 'poof' and off went my entry. Using the landline sucks. To make a long story short, the brother fell in love with online games, thus resulting in mumsie banishing darling braodband hence terminating his love affair. Now he's nursing a broken heart, and I'm curbing the frustration of not being able to be reunited with both my sweethearts. One's the idiot box of course and the other's my computer with broadband... Ah well, we can't have everything.....
Anyway, KL's a labyrinth of roads, junctions, roundabouts, turnings, signboards, roads, roads and more roads. Getting from one destination to another becomes such a chore. Being used to the convenience in Ipoh, where a 30 minute drive is tantamount to driving to the next town, to be suddenly thrown into a bustling city where it takes close to 30 minutes to go anywhere people deem 'nearby' feels positively alien. Besides, maybe it's just me, but the place takes on a sinister appearance by nightfall. Danger looms where darkness reigns. *Shudder*
My college life is officially starting tomorrow. I'm eager, excited, but for the most part, apprehensive. Orientation week was alright. We had a typical mass call, where people ( they had names and titles attached to those names, but I wasn't paying that much attention so I missed it = p ) talked and talked and talked. After that, we had 'lots' of activities, but since those activities lasted for only a few hours, we were left to our own devices for the rest of those looooong days. Needless to say, my roommate and I were bored senseless. The library proved to be a diversion, but not for long. We spent the rest of the day literally playing the staring game. Know the rules of the game? It's easy, you just find a partner and stare at each other. Then, we'll flop on our beds and laugh at our futility in seeking something to occupy time. Desperadoes we were.
Tomorrow's schedule seems to be packed. I'll be having lectures non stop till 6pm, starting at 10am with a one hour lunch break in between. I hope we'll have something to do by then. I must be nuts but I'd rather have homework (easy ones are most certainly welcome) than to sit around and waste away.
I got a shock when I saw our engineering workshops the other day. In all honesty I had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn't those machines and thingamajigs that I saw. The seniors' warnings were scary enough, no baggy clothes, long hair must be tied, no bracelets, no earrings, no handphones because of some radiation interference, and a tonne of other things that results in dire consequneces..The first thought that crossed my mind wasn't " wow, how extremely cool ! ", all my mushy brain could think of was "Goodness, what have I gotten myself into".
A part of me wants to stay in good ole Ipoh. Simple Ipoh. But I've got to graduate. There were times when we got so desperate, I joked about dumping college, coming home, start a 'career' waitressing and live the rest of my life regretting. I wonder how the next four years will turn out. It's weird how things are reversed now. A week ago, 'vacation' meant going somewhere away from home. Now, 'vacation' means coming back home. hmm....
I've still got loads to crap about, but time does not permit me to do so. Mum cooked up some bitter, black, herbal thingy that's supposed to be nutritious and I've gotta go for gastronomical torture now.
Aloha ! (because it means hello and bye and I hate goodbyes )
Actually, I was happily blogging the evening I came home. I must have got on the wrong side of Lady Luck that day because just as I reached the conclusion of my entry, the screen went 'poof' and off went my entry. Using the landline sucks. To make a long story short, the brother fell in love with online games, thus resulting in mumsie banishing darling braodband hence terminating his love affair. Now he's nursing a broken heart, and I'm curbing the frustration of not being able to be reunited with both my sweethearts. One's the idiot box of course and the other's my computer with broadband... Ah well, we can't have everything.....
Anyway, KL's a labyrinth of roads, junctions, roundabouts, turnings, signboards, roads, roads and more roads. Getting from one destination to another becomes such a chore. Being used to the convenience in Ipoh, where a 30 minute drive is tantamount to driving to the next town, to be suddenly thrown into a bustling city where it takes close to 30 minutes to go anywhere people deem 'nearby' feels positively alien. Besides, maybe it's just me, but the place takes on a sinister appearance by nightfall. Danger looms where darkness reigns. *Shudder*
My college life is officially starting tomorrow. I'm eager, excited, but for the most part, apprehensive. Orientation week was alright. We had a typical mass call, where people ( they had names and titles attached to those names, but I wasn't paying that much attention so I missed it = p ) talked and talked and talked. After that, we had 'lots' of activities, but since those activities lasted for only a few hours, we were left to our own devices for the rest of those looooong days. Needless to say, my roommate and I were bored senseless. The library proved to be a diversion, but not for long. We spent the rest of the day literally playing the staring game. Know the rules of the game? It's easy, you just find a partner and stare at each other. Then, we'll flop on our beds and laugh at our futility in seeking something to occupy time. Desperadoes we were.
Tomorrow's schedule seems to be packed. I'll be having lectures non stop till 6pm, starting at 10am with a one hour lunch break in between. I hope we'll have something to do by then. I must be nuts but I'd rather have homework (easy ones are most certainly welcome) than to sit around and waste away.
I got a shock when I saw our engineering workshops the other day. In all honesty I had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn't those machines and thingamajigs that I saw. The seniors' warnings were scary enough, no baggy clothes, long hair must be tied, no bracelets, no earrings, no handphones because of some radiation interference, and a tonne of other things that results in dire consequneces..The first thought that crossed my mind wasn't " wow, how extremely cool ! ", all my mushy brain could think of was "Goodness, what have I gotten myself into".
A part of me wants to stay in good ole Ipoh. Simple Ipoh. But I've got to graduate. There were times when we got so desperate, I joked about dumping college, coming home, start a 'career' waitressing and live the rest of my life regretting. I wonder how the next four years will turn out. It's weird how things are reversed now. A week ago, 'vacation' meant going somewhere away from home. Now, 'vacation' means coming back home. hmm....
I've still got loads to crap about, but time does not permit me to do so. Mum cooked up some bitter, black, herbal thingy that's supposed to be nutritious and I've gotta go for gastronomical torture now.
Aloha ! (because it means hello and bye and I hate goodbyes )
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Bits and pieces
Life is just a phase....you'll get over it - Anon.
This may be the last post I post in a while. When was the last time I blogged? Bout a week ago? It's been an eventful week for sure. One of the fastest to pass. I went to check out my hostel last Sunday. I've got over the initial shock and unease. One thing's for sure, I'm SO NOT looking forward to staying there. I've been wishing the days would crawl by, but so far, all time seems to be doing is zooming past. Right now, I've psycho-ed myself to treat it all as an adventure. Imagine one day, decades and decades away, I'd be telling my grandkids (if I ever get married to begin with) how I survived on baked beans, lived in a room none bigger than a matchbox, shared a communal bathroom, took cold baths at dawn, climbed 5 flights of stairs a few times daily, walked miles everyday, lived without a TV set nearby, did my own 'budgeting' , and lived 'independantly'. = p
I must say that I was taught geography at the dining table at a very tender age. Well, here's an example.. when I was younger, I used to love to pick at my food. So mum would go, " Joanna, eat your rice, do you know how many children in Africa/Bosnia are starving? Do you know how much they would love and appreciate having spinach to eat? You are so lucky.....so don't be so fussy" So to me, Africa was the country mum speaks of whenever I refuse to eat something yucky. Nutritious food's always yucky aren't they? I remember mum forcing me to 'eat' cod liver oil. Mind you, when I was around 5, cod liver oil meant the emulsion form. No gold capsules because mum was afraid I'd choke myself to death. And gawd did that icky white cod liver oil emulsion taste awful ! Things that mum called 'brain food' , I translated into 'run away quick' food. So 'brain boosting sessions' usually resulted in a battle of wills, and a chase round and under the dining table.
Looking through my autograph book today, I realised how much I missed school and how dear all those sweet memories in school meant to me. I used to think mum and dad were kidding or were just acting 'parenty' when they told me 'Schooldays are the best ! You'll miss it when you graduate'' Now, I know what they mean. Reading what friends wrote opened up the dam of memories once again. While bittersweet memories pooled and flooded around me, it felt as if I was back in school again. It was like a picturebook in my mind, where happy scenes are replaying themselves. It's sad to see phrases like " It's our last year together this year, I still remember when......." or " It's time to bid farewell and go on our own journeys''. Sometimes I wish I could go back there again, but in life we always have to move forward don't we? Many of my friends have started Form 6, some have gone overseas, some have gone to college. We've all spread our wings and took flight. I can't help but wonder what's going on in my friends' lives. It's almost sinful how we took our time together for granted. But Kim's autograph sent me into peals of laughter. It just demonstrates how unpredictable life could be at times.
Ah, well, it's time I embarked on my own journey, to explore foreign lands and terrains. It's times like these that I think of my grandmother. I wonder whether she knows what's happening in my life, I wonder whether she's proud of me, whether she knows all I've done and achieved, my accomplishments and failures. When I see her again, I'll tell her that I've done a lot of growing up in the time she left, but some things still remain the same. I'm still afraid of the dark, I still pick at my food, I still misplace my watch often, I still believe in ghosts and refuse to watch horror movies, and I've graduated from Enid Blyton to the likes of Sandra Brown and Sidney Sheldon, but I still get stuck in what Josh terms 'bookland' . I don't squabble with Josh so often now. Maybe that's what they meant by 'maturity', but then again, maybe it's because we see so little of each other, there's hardly time to take out the artillery and declare war before time comes and whisks it all away....
I guess that's all I have to say right now. I started out with lots to say but words just evades me. Till I get near a computer in the near future, Adieu !
This may be the last post I post in a while. When was the last time I blogged? Bout a week ago? It's been an eventful week for sure. One of the fastest to pass. I went to check out my hostel last Sunday. I've got over the initial shock and unease. One thing's for sure, I'm SO NOT looking forward to staying there. I've been wishing the days would crawl by, but so far, all time seems to be doing is zooming past. Right now, I've psycho-ed myself to treat it all as an adventure. Imagine one day, decades and decades away, I'd be telling my grandkids (if I ever get married to begin with) how I survived on baked beans, lived in a room none bigger than a matchbox, shared a communal bathroom, took cold baths at dawn, climbed 5 flights of stairs a few times daily, walked miles everyday, lived without a TV set nearby, did my own 'budgeting' , and lived 'independantly'. = p
I must say that I was taught geography at the dining table at a very tender age. Well, here's an example.. when I was younger, I used to love to pick at my food. So mum would go, " Joanna, eat your rice, do you know how many children in Africa/Bosnia are starving? Do you know how much they would love and appreciate having spinach to eat? You are so lucky.....so don't be so fussy" So to me, Africa was the country mum speaks of whenever I refuse to eat something yucky. Nutritious food's always yucky aren't they? I remember mum forcing me to 'eat' cod liver oil. Mind you, when I was around 5, cod liver oil meant the emulsion form. No gold capsules because mum was afraid I'd choke myself to death. And gawd did that icky white cod liver oil emulsion taste awful ! Things that mum called 'brain food' , I translated into 'run away quick' food. So 'brain boosting sessions' usually resulted in a battle of wills, and a chase round and under the dining table.
Looking through my autograph book today, I realised how much I missed school and how dear all those sweet memories in school meant to me. I used to think mum and dad were kidding or were just acting 'parenty' when they told me 'Schooldays are the best ! You'll miss it when you graduate'' Now, I know what they mean. Reading what friends wrote opened up the dam of memories once again. While bittersweet memories pooled and flooded around me, it felt as if I was back in school again. It was like a picturebook in my mind, where happy scenes are replaying themselves. It's sad to see phrases like " It's our last year together this year, I still remember when......." or " It's time to bid farewell and go on our own journeys''. Sometimes I wish I could go back there again, but in life we always have to move forward don't we? Many of my friends have started Form 6, some have gone overseas, some have gone to college. We've all spread our wings and took flight. I can't help but wonder what's going on in my friends' lives. It's almost sinful how we took our time together for granted. But Kim's autograph sent me into peals of laughter. It just demonstrates how unpredictable life could be at times.
Ah, well, it's time I embarked on my own journey, to explore foreign lands and terrains. It's times like these that I think of my grandmother. I wonder whether she knows what's happening in my life, I wonder whether she's proud of me, whether she knows all I've done and achieved, my accomplishments and failures. When I see her again, I'll tell her that I've done a lot of growing up in the time she left, but some things still remain the same. I'm still afraid of the dark, I still pick at my food, I still misplace my watch often, I still believe in ghosts and refuse to watch horror movies, and I've graduated from Enid Blyton to the likes of Sandra Brown and Sidney Sheldon, but I still get stuck in what Josh terms 'bookland' . I don't squabble with Josh so often now. Maybe that's what they meant by 'maturity', but then again, maybe it's because we see so little of each other, there's hardly time to take out the artillery and declare war before time comes and whisks it all away....
I guess that's all I have to say right now. I started out with lots to say but words just evades me. Till I get near a computer in the near future, Adieu !
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