Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Burnt out

I woke up today totally exhausted, which isn't the norm for me because 5 hours of sleep usually fuels me enough to pull through the day. And then it hit me that I've been going on for the past few weeks without a day of rest. Life's taken on a mundane cycle of reading ( for work, oh how I wish it was for pleasure ) , lab work, cooking , grocery shopping, writing, and more reading and writing after dinner right up till early dawn. 

My only reprieve comes in the form of the 20 laps I push myself to swim in the pool. It's therapeutic, the calm, the silent lapping of water, the total silence when you're submerged in depths of nothing but water. It's that only time of day when I concentrate purely on breathing, two strokes , one breath, two strokes , one breath and nothing else. True liberation. 

Right now I have lots of reading clamoring for attention , some stuff to write and life to sort out. I really don't know the point of writing this, maybe I need a whine. Too many things have disappointed me. Too many people have had their masks ripped off. I'm confused. The sad fact remains that the night's still young but I'm totally burnt out. Emotionally, physically. 

The easiest thing to be in the world is you. 
The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to. 
Don't let them put you in that position 
- Leo Buscaglia


JoV said...

20 laps?!!! Whoa you superwoman. Take it easy, one day like me, a mom with two young kids you will have plenty of time to read for pleasure. :)

Joanna said...

Hey Jo :)
Haha. Yeap, the time will come when I'll have lots of spare time to read all I want. Can't wait. lol