Here's my heart

Here’s my heart

A system of valves, opening, closing,

This synchronized clockwork of inhale and exhale,

Here,

Oxygen and carbon dioxide embrace life,

A brief encounter,

An imperceptible give and take

Only to forever part and go separate ways

Wander down the halls of my heart

And You’ll find weaved into a tapestry of veins,

Resentment, anger, and impatience conferring in the passageway

"Someone said something today"

An angry word, and vengeance rears it’s ugly head

A quickening of beats, a rush of blood to the brain,

Doubt drowns fading faith and

Fear cowers shamefully in a darkened corner

But a heart led by pride often trips on itself,

Only to be left broken and bleeding

And when it stubbornly snuggles into blankets of its own wounds

Contentment teaches it how to never heal

This is a heart that is weak,

Imperfect despite Your perfect orchestration of opening and closing valves.

Here’s my heart,

Gently remove my tightly held grip on the reins

And teach it to trust

With faith like young David’s

One that giants, doubts and fears can never sway

Teach it to beat for you

Move each breath to love like Jesus

Eyes that see the poor and suffering

And as this heart acknowledges that pain is universal

Soften it as it feels their pain too.

Lord, breathe into it

So each impatient heartbeat

Feeds instead the river of Your peace

Between the knowledge that there are wars worth fighting

And squabbles that need only the hand of Time to cure,

Grant this heart Solomon’s wisdom to tell the difference

And when You finally knock on its door

Grant my heart the wisdom

To answer

Above all else, guard your heart ; 

For everything you do flows from it 

- Proverbs 4 : 23

Hope restarts

This is the story of a girl who loved and lost

A girl who started out with a feeble heartbeat

and right before they thought all was lost

A pulsing ultrasound and in three insistent beats :

“I’m. Still. Here”

A girl who was taught at the lap of her earliest teachers

That it takes strength to say “I’m sorry”

Learnt through life that it takes humility to say “Please”

and that gratitude, extends further than the last “Thank You”.

A girl who decided not to judge through coloured lenses,

Not realizing that the world

was already too busy painting her shades

that didn’t quite match the colour of her soul

And with eyes wide shut, and heart laid open,

Friendship, was the wine with the best bouquet,

the most delicate of flowers and

the sweetest of fruits

Betrayal may have opened those shut eyes;

shut the open heart

filled the days with the roaring thunder of hurt and confusion

But this is the girl with the feeble heartbeat,

In three insistent beats :

“ Hope. Restarts"

This is the story of a girl who loved and lost

But loved again

*pic credits*

Blindness

Blindness, 

is not the loss of physical sight, 

It is not the inability for your eyes to absorb 

and process colours and images

Blindness, 

is the inability to let go

even when holding on leaves scars on the very palms that grip

Blindness, 

is the inability to absorb thoughts, 

to see that it has to take white to make a sea of grey,

and that even in the right light, 

the black glitters 

Blindness, 

is the rash tongue, 

the unforgiving heart 

and the vengeful spirit

Blindness, 

is the stubborn soul

that refuses to be vulnerable, pliant, human

Blindness, 

is the inability to see that by not forgiving

and by building a cage for every hurt, pain and injustice, 

you invest so much of yourself 

until every curve, every bar, every sinewy joint of that unyielding prison,

becomes you. 

The eyes and the soul

I have a story to tell, her eyes beseeched.

Fragile emerald veins, the evidence of the years cobwebbing across pale, white skin. A faint pulse ticks the passing seconds, each one a reminder of the memories lived with each inhale and exhale of breath.

Her hands are still elegant, with only a faded wedding band on her slim tapered fingers. These hands held his in a sunlit meadow, put the ring on her husband’s on their wedding day, and cradled her children, soothed cuts, bruises and combed back unruly curls.

Lips that were once rosy and full, now a shadow of whispered love, of bedtime stories and kisses that cured scraped knees and wise words that balmed broken hearts. Sometimes, they remember her, always armed with a winsome smile and a razor sharp retort for low esteem days, kind words for dark days, and a joke for days when even the clouds seem heavier and burdened.

But it is her eyes that do the speaking. These cool calm pools belying the feisty outspoken girl, the willful teenager, and the courageous woman. It is her eyes that are arresting, hooked up on tubes and often alone, her eyes blaze with the life that refuses to be tamed down simply because time lost the tag team race with age.

I have a story to tell, her eyes beseeched.

*** How often we forget the elderly and the wonderful lives they've led. How often we forsake to see that we're but a bud grafted onto the trees nurtured by the ones who lived and saw these things way before we ever did *** 

A Study in Character and Emotion

Meet Anger. Anger has this knack for choosing victims to approach. In a weak moment, he snickers and says 

“ Go ahead. Lash out. It’ll do you good. It feels GOOD doesn’t it ? They hurt you, they annoyed you, you deserve to feel this simmering heat and burn. Hey look, there’s a rock, take it and throw it at this and that person”.  

He nudges Hurt, so Hurt wails and stamps her feet : 

“ Focus on me. It’s really all about me. Look how I’m bleeding. Really, life has been so cruel “. 

Resentment looks on, resolutely stewing in a corner and suddenly Rashness comes sprinting in, a bat in hand screaming 

“ Do it ! Do the damage and be done with it ! “. 

Immaturity comes sauntering in, nodding a vehement encouragement, goading you on 

“ Come on … why don’t you listen ? You're not half the (wo)man I thought you were ! We know what’s best for you. Follow your heart “

You take a step in their direction, Determination cringes in a distance, but suddenly Wisdom lays a gentle firm hand on your shoulder and whispers, listen to Patience. Thankfully, Optimism comes in, and Strength takes your arm, encouraging you to walk away with Courage, and you’ll find that Peace waits a little further on, away from Chaos. 

Pic credits

*** Very often, we find ourselves in situations led by anger, and in a surge of emotion, we react according to the first thing that comes to mind. But like the flip side of a coin, there's always always an alternative reaction, the one that sits away from it all, the one that marks the difference between maturity, and juuuussst getting there.